Monday, April 22, 2013
Blood Gnome (2004)
Crime scene photographer Daniel is newly back at work after spending time in a psych ward after his wife was murdered. (Maybe if he didn't have photos of his dead wife at the crime scene hanging on his living room wall he'd make a quicker recovery?)
A killer is targeting people in the bondage/S&M scene and Daniel is on the scene with his camera. He starts seeing little killer gnomes through his viewfinder and on the camcorders view screen. No one shall ask why Daniel never plays the video tape or develops the film when trying to convince law enforcement and friends what he saw, which are invisible blood gnomes. Aw Daniel, really? What the hell.... yeah, just keep screaming about blood gnomes, not like it'd help to use the proof you have.
Instead of doing the logical thing, Daniel decides he needs to learn more about these kinky sex practices and hires Divinity, who starts giving him some lessons. Trust me, you don't want to see Daniel in bondage. Little do Daniel and Beth know that the blood gnomes belong to someone Divinity knows.
The gnomes are rubber with no moving parts, manly of the ladies look sort of manly, and Daniel is kind of gross. Don't miss the hair raising scene where he talks to the blood gnomes via a primitive instant message application on his computer. And by hair raising, I mean ridiculous.