Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Shark Week (2012)
Now when someone says you must fight for your life because it's shark week, I expect to see lots of biting shark action, not a group of people sitting around sniping at each other and their captor unveiling that they've stumbled into the next area where they'll be attacked by a shark. Because in actuality shark week means one shark per day at a point when they all fall, or are forced, into the water. So 99% of the time, they're safe. Although they do fall through the Earths crust at one point, so I kept hoping for that to happen again.
The Asylum is responsible for this mess which means there's a good synopsis, but the actual rendering of the movie is boring and you'll keep hoping something exciting happens, which it won't. Why do I keep watching these? Oh yeah, because they have good titles and synopsises.
Watch unappealing characters talk about why they shouldn't be blamed for the son's death. Watch old guy Tiburon sit in a chair and look at monitors with video of his guests via cameras all over the island. Watch his old girlfriend with her strange eye twitch (and then be horrified to discover she's not actually old, it's Yancy Butler and she just hasn't aged well - I thought she was about 60 but she's only in her early 40s.) Watch out for sharks, but seriously there's no worry of that because once they've met the one per day they're allotted, they're all set.