Tuesday, January 5, 2016

Day of the Mummy (2014)

Jack Wells, a bargain basement Indiana Jones, is hired to find the tomb of the cursed king Neferu.  His employer Carl wants him to locate the diamond known as the codex stone.  Carl is played by Danny Glover who phones it in over a video link while seated in a comfy looking library in what appears to be a luxurious home.

Middle aged womanizer Jack teams up with a high maintenance professor, a female security person, and two twenty something guys with a background in archaeology.  The woman has no business working in security since she can't even slap effectively, has no knowledge of diplomacy, and is overcome by Jack's charms on the first night.

Carl oversees Jack's adventures in mummy seeking by requiring him to wear glasses with a camera in them that allows Carl to view a live feed. Jack also wears an earpiece so Carl can give directions to him.  Go google glasses, go!  Jack may look like a dork in his black horn rims, but he still pulls the girls without even trying.

Actually I'm assuming Jack looks like a dork. Since he's behind the glasses we just see his point of view and it's nauseating. If you're prone to motion sickness, you'll feel nauseous through some of this film. You'll also get more shots than you'd ever want of Jack's feet.

This was a tough one to watch. Not only because of the motion of the camerawork, but because it was tedious.  We fast forwarding through part of the movie until we hit a mummy.  Although a previous explorer working with Carl was set upon by the mummy shortly after entering the tomb, Jack and his buddies stumble around in there for hours without running into trouble.

The whole video glasses schtick looks like something out of a 1990s video game.  So that's kind of amusing.  Danny Glover occasionally pops up in a little square in the lower left side of the screen when he wants to interact with Jack.

At one point, the group walks for two days to get to the area that they believe the undiscovered tomb is located. Because how would I know it happened unless it's shown to me?  They mention that there is no way to drive to the area, but later they are attacked near the tomb by men with guns who drive off in a jeep. Sooooo.... I guess they should have parked a little closer.

Half of me loves that Jack doesn't fit the stereotype of buff
young stud. The other half is thinking he shouldn't be shirtless.
It's like being in a haunted attraction.
Be prepared to see Danny Glover in the lower left hand
corner of the screen and nowhere else.
Oh great, like we need to see Jacks feet again.

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