The Dead of Night (2004)

Some really old looking high school students go to the cemetery to party. They invite a couple of unpopular teens so they can pull a prank on them that involves a gun. 

Darryl wants to bury the nerds in a grave as an initiation. Some of the others don’t think it’s funny, but Darryl assures them it will be hilarious.  

The nerds probably would have died if it wasn’t for the monsters in the graveyard who attacked them.  Now they’re weird unemotional guys who walk around while staring straight ahead and sometimes drooling corn syrup. Nothing good can come from this.

This is a fairly slow movie. 

Ridiculous dialogue

Look, this place is clique central. Where you pick a clique or you’re nothing. You need your clique, you know what I’m saying? Or you die.

We Might Hurt Each Other (2022)

Aka Rupintojelis, aka Pensive

A group of high school students in Lithuania head to an isolated cabin to celebrate their graduation.  They had originally booked a place at the beach, but Marius was suspicious because the pictures did not look like Lithuania. After the reservation falls through, Marius secures a cabin and assures them it’s a better option.

Five cars of teenagers head out to celebrate. Then they get lost because Marius seems confused as to where they’re going.  Once they arrive, they discover some strange wooden sculptures.  These were carved by the man who used to live there, whose family burned to death on the property.  Most of the kids are creeped out. Marius says he was not aware of who lived there when he booked the place.

Some of the kids kick the sculptures over and decide the wood is perfect for the fire pit.  Oh damn, that’s not only disrespectful, but it’s never a good idea to mess with sculptures that may hold the spirits of the decreased who died tragically on the land.

It takes 45 minutes for the killer to show up. While the first few kills are people away from the group, there is a moment where the killer targets the majority of the teens who have hidden in a room in the cabin. So that’s outside the norm. 

My Little Nightmare (2024)

This movie starts with scenes of different people in various places with no information about who they are or what is being referenced. Do they know each other? Will their stories converge at some point? 

Heather meets Alex in his office. She’s upset about a death from seven years ago.  I guess it’s a murder since Alex says there is lots of evidence but they don’t have a name yet. Is Alex a private investigator? Then they talk about a book deal and how she wants to buy his house if he ever wants to sell.  I’m even more confused. But I guess this will all be explained later. No, no it won’t. 

After more scenes of people I don’t know, Alex meets with Amy, who turns out to be his sister. She says what they did wasn’t right. What who did? What happened? They don’t tell us.

Forty minutes in there is no back story and no explanation of the connection of characters.  But we do find out Alex has been seeing weird things, like a little kid covered in blood.

Heather shows up again, fires Alex and will look elsewhere for representation. Oh, she mentioned a book deal. Is he her agent? If so, then is Alex talking about the previously mentioned death and saying “We’ve been working on this case for years” WHAT IS IT??? 

I feel like I’ve been watching this a long time so it must be almost over, right?  I’m fifty six minutes in and there‘s still one hour and seventeen minutes left. How is that possible? Why is this movie so long? It’s unclear what this movie is even about yet.  An editor is desperately needed.

At one hour and twenty minutes, we finally get a flashback about the plot. But even this is filler as there is more time spent showing them drinking in the bar than on the accident. It’s almost a passing thing where we see horrified faces in the car, someone screaming “look out” and then some legs by the side of the road.

In a flashback at the hotel, we find out they are in Mexico and afraid of calling the police. It is revealed it’s no longer an accident, but a murder after the driver kills the kid so he won’t talk. Sure, that makes a lot of sense.  Also there’s some blackmail since the driver and his girlfriend are forcing everyone to keep quiet or they will say Alex’s boyfriend was driving the car, even though they weren’t there.

A movie shouldn’t wait 80 minutes to explain the plot. It’s incredibly frustrating to watch random people talking about how something bad happened, but not having anyone clue you into what is going on. Most of the characters get killed before the plot shows up. Also this is way too long. It does not need to be over two hours. It could have been told in 80 minutes.

Red Eye (2017)

Gage is an aspiring filmmaker who decides to make a documentary about a local legend.  Helping him are his best friend Jake, Jake’s girlfriend Ryker, and her best friend Ryann. Gage has picked a bad group to bring on this project. They are negative as hell about everything, including him 

They hike into the woods until Gage finds the exact spot of where the murders occurred and suggests they camp there for the night. He’s the only one excited about sleeping at a murder site. But they are too far into the woods to go back.

After the camp is attacked in the middle of the night, Gage and Ryker go for help.  Their car won’t start so they start walking. They have no sense of urgency as they slowly meander while talking about future life plans. Good god, people are injured. There is no time to be  lollygagging!

This is one of those movies where exposition is provided by the characters trauma dumping on each other, often at an inopportune moment.  Also Ryann is supposed to be Ryker’s best friend and has known her since junior year of high school.  Yet she doesn’t know her well at all. She doesn’t know she was picked on in school, that her dream is to act in horror movies, or how she met Jake.

Shifted (2023)

A bunch of unlikeable people hide in a house after some sort of incident or zombie apocalypse three weeks ago. I’m not really clear on what happened.  The survivors are running out of food and aren’t sure what to do since it’s not safe outside.

There are papers stuck on the windows so no one can see in and they talk in hushed tones, Not everyone has a good sense of self preservation since one woman lets in a person she’s never met who had been communicating via signs from a nearby house.  Another woman locks out two people who went outside to get water.  

Now not only do we have some horrible people in the house, but one of the woman is found with her throat slit.  So one of them is a killer. Is it the new woman who is acting odd? The guy who knows how to travel among the zombies without being killed? Or one of them that’s been sharing the house for the past three weeks?  Did they tell us how they all came to share this house or did I miss that?

This is a low budget film with characters that you won’t care about and not a lot of excitement. The credit list a fitness team for one of the lead actors.  Why? Was that really necessary for this role? How was that justified? Yes, he took his shirt off, but he didn’t need to as it added nothing to the plot. 

The Bermuda Triangle Project (2023)

The Trust Fund Misfits have gone missing in the Bermuda Triangle.  After that is established, we cut to the police who are considering the possibility of a serial killer due to fifteen women who’ve gone missing over the past three decades.  What does this have to do with the Trust Fund Misfits? 

Then we’re on to an estate in Florida where a rich guy just got an internship for his daughter.  Cut to election night where a politician is being asked about an escort.  Have we ever seen any of these people before? How do they relate to the Trust Fund Misfits?

Another cut to some guys playing football on the beach. They find something washed up on the shore which they immediately realize is video evidence the Trust Fund Misfits shot before they disappeared.  What is going on?!

Cut to the police and a detective who mentions he’s going to retire in six months. Oh my god, is he going to die?  Now the police say they think there is a connection between the Glass Rose Killer and the Trust Fund Misfits.  Wait a minute. The killer mentioned at the beginning has a nickname? Or is this a totally different serial killer?

This movie is so disjointed. Characters appear out of nowhere with unknown motivation and no information about how they relate to other characters or other scenes that have occurred.  You’re constantly asking “who are these people” or “is Trust Fund Misfits an ironic name?” Scenes jump from place to place with people you’ve never seen before and have no idea how they are related to characters  already in the story.  Some of the acting is questionable at best. The audio usually sounds like the it was recorded in the room rather than ADR. So it either has an echo, is almost too low to hear, or there is ambient noise. 

If you can embrace the confusion, it can be amusing to have no idea what is happening. They use the Wilhelm scream at one point which made me laugh.

Argh! The expression came out of nowhere

I’m sure he’s perfectly trustworthy. 

The chief considering telling them to turn in their badges

She looks angry in every scene

Matching bandages and looking kind of AI

The Deadly Little Mermaid (2026)

This town has a problem. Mermaids roam the beaches at night, bewitching men and eating them.  You’d think the number of disappearances and deaths would alert the locals, but they don’t seem to know there is an issue.  There is talk of siren songs, but no one is suggesting getting rid of these murderous creatures of the sea. 

Tyler spends his days painting and missing his family. He has dreams of running towards the ocean holding a child’s shoe. So I assume his child drowned.  His friend Rose is concerned about his isolation because she’s his closest neighbor for miles.  This becomes a  confusing plot point when it is revealed he lives downtown. We can see people walking by the front door as she talks to him, and there are shops and homes along the lane.

One night Tyler finds an injured woman on the beach and brings her back to his house.  He promises to help her, but she doesn’t talk since she’s using her siren song to keep him under control. 

Some old friends come into town and Tyler rents a house to them. When one of them disappears, they ask Tyler if their missing friend is with him, but he acts weird and won’t let them in.  One looks through the window and becomes alarmed when he sees the mermaid.  If I looked in an artist's window and saw a mermaid, I’d think someone was posing for a painting.  Inexplicably the mermaid can paint.

Things keep going off the rails and Rose tries to save Tyler because she is a witch. Yes, there is also witchcraft in the village, which is also not mentioned as a cause for concern. People should just stay out of this town, what with the roving band of killer mermaids and the inconspicuous witches.

Ridiculous dialogue

I’m just your neighbor. The closet one for miles anywhere.

More concerned about keeping his cap at a jaunty angle

Boom mic alert

Poor Tyler’s home is so isolated he has no neighbors for miles. 

No one shall notice the mermaid hiding in the grass

House on Haunted Hill (2026)

Ava gets invited to her late uncle’s estate. She brings her boyfriend and three friends to spend the weekend on the island.  When they arrive, they are met by caretaker Frank who warns them to stay out of the woods and off the west side of the island.  Do they listen? Of course not.

I honestly can’t remember much about this movie.  

Ridiculous dialogue

Woman: So Ava, were you and your uncle close?

Ava: Yeah um he used to visit when I was a kid but I haven’t seen him in years. 

Corpse Sniper (2019)

After her husband dies and his body disappears, a military widow decides to investigate what happened. This culminates in her discovery of a government facility with a secret project where corpses are turned into indestructible soldiers. What could be better than an army that can’t be stopped by bullets?  

The military facility proves to have the worst security ever since a housewife manages to sneak in and locate the lab where they are changing corpses into super soldiers. 

Based on the special effects and video quality I thought this must be an older movie. However when I looked it up, it was made in 2019.  The plot is right out of the 1990s though.

Ridiculous dialogue

Dead soldier bodies have been disappearing from the Army morgue for two years. 

Simon Says 2 (2025)

One year after the disappearances in the first film, reporter Sally and her camera crew bring the sole survivor back to the castle. They want to make a documentary about the story, investigate what really happened and see if his claims are true. 

There’s a lot of talking and not much action. They determine the only way they can verify if his tale is true is play the game.  The problem is they never consider the consequences if the story is accurate.  Soon people are getting sucked into the red realm and everyone regrets they didn’t pick another topic for their documentary.

Another British low budget movie with low budget actors.