The Deadly Little Mermaid (2026)

This town has a problem. Mermaids roam the beaches at night, bewitching men and eating them.  You’d think the number of disappearances and deaths would alert the locals, but they don’t seem to know there is an issue.  There is talk of siren songs, but no one is suggesting getting rid of these murderous creatures of the sea. 

Tyler spends his days painting and missing his family. He has dreams of running towards the ocean holding a child’s shoe. So I assume his child drowned.  His friend Rose is concerned about his isolation because she’s his closest neighbor for miles.  This becomes a  confusing plot point when it is revealed he lives downtown. We can see people walking by the front door as she talks to him, and there are shops and homes along the lane.

One night Tyler finds an injured woman on the beach and brings her back to his house.  He promises to help her, but she doesn’t talk since she’s using her siren song to keep him under control. 

Some old friends come into town and Tyler rents a house to them. When one of them disappears, they ask Tyler if their missing friend is with him, but he acts weird and won’t let them in.  One looks through the window and becomes alarmed when he sees the mermaid.  If I looked in an artist's window and saw a mermaid, I’d think someone was posing for a painting.  Inexplicably the mermaid can paint.

Things keep going off the rails and Rose tries to save Tyler because she is a witch. Yes, there is also witchcraft in the village, which is also not mentioned as a cause for concern. People should just stay out of this town, what with the roving band of killer mermaids and the inconspicuous witches.

Ridiculous dialogue

I’m just your neighbor. The closet one for miles anywhere.

More concerned about keeping his cap at a jaunty angle

Boom mic alert

Poor Tyler’s home is so isolated he has no neighbors for miles. 

No one shall notice the mermaid hiding in the grass

House on Haunted Hill (2026)

Ava gets invited to her late uncle’s estate. She brings her boyfriend and three friends to spend the weekend on the island.  When they arrive, they are met by caretaker Frank who warns them to stay out of the woods and off the west side of the island.  Do they listen? Of course not.

I honestly can’t remember much about this movie.  

Ridiculous dialogue

Woman: So Ava, were you and your uncle close?

Ava: Yeah um he used to visit when I was a kid but I haven’t seen him in years. 

Corpse Sniper (2019)

After her husband dies and his body disappears, a military widow decides to investigate what happened. This culminates in her discovery of a government facility with a secret project where corpses are turned into indestructible soldiers. What could be better than an army that can’t be stopped by bullets?  

The military facility proves to have the worst security ever since a housewife manages to sneak in and locate the lab where they are changing corpses into super soldiers. 

Based on the special effects and video quality I thought this must be an older movie. However when I looked it up, it was made in 2019.  The plot is right out of the 1990s though.

Ridiculous dialogue

Dead soldier bodies have been disappearing from the Army morgue for two years. 

Simon Says 2 (2025)

One year after the disappearances in the first film, reporter Sally and her camera crew bring the sole survivor back to the castle. They want to make a documentary about the story, investigate what really happened and see if his claims are true. 

There’s a lot of talking and not much action. They determine the only way they can verify if his tale is true is play the game.  The problem is they never consider the consequences if the story is accurate.  Soon people are getting sucked into the red realm and everyone regrets they didn’t pick another topic for their documentary.

Another British low budget movie with low budget actors.

Aladdin’s Revenge (2026)

Rachel, the only survivor from the previous movie, is attending Healing Horizons treatment center. A facilitator plans to work with her and two other patients. The treatment is to accept and move on from their traumatic experiences. Rachel was found innocent of any wrong doing in the deaths of her friends, but the court ordered her to go here which seems kind of weird.

The treatment forces them to talk about what happened to them. Rachel says no but is told it’s a requirement. She reluctantly tells them the story of the evil lamp she had to destroy and everyone rolls their eyes.

When the facilitator checks Rachel’s room, she scolds her for bringing an object that is not on the approved list. Rachel is horrified to discover it’s the same lamp she burned.  The facilitator is angry, but the other survivors want to use it. Rachel frantically warns them that’s how her friends died, but they are not to be dissuaded.  Leo is an idiot and brings his brother back from the dead. Everything goes down hill from there.

I had no idea this was a sequel so watched it before I watched Aladdin. The beginning is kind of confusing since they have some assumption you’ll know who the main character is, but overall it’ s not a big deal if you skip the first one since they recap the main points in this one.  

Ridiculous dialogue

You ever hear tires scream? I mean really hear them?

You’re Rachel? The girl who killed her friends?

Rachel: The lamp is cursed. We can’t use it.

Leo: Says who?

Nora: Yeah, what happens if we use it to make good wishes?

Aladdin (2026)

Rachel’s boyfriend Jake takes her on vacation where they’re renting a large house with another couple. There is talk Rachel has a problem but twenty minutes in, I still have no idea what it is or what is going on. 

After picking a bedroom, Rachel is alarmed to find a genie lamp. Instead of putting it where she can’t see it, she sets it next to her bed. Well, it can’t be that upsetting.  However she swings back to unnerved when the other woman in the house grabs it. Pick a lane, Rachel.

Legend says a priest sealed Aladdin inside and hid the lamp. Since they found it sitting under the sink, I guess he wasn’t good at hiding things. The lamp has three wishes and when you use one, magic will reveal who you truly are and impact how the wish is implemented.  Every greedy gut in this movie has no self awareness.

As the movie progresses, we find out Rachel has megalophobia, an irrational fear of exceptionally large objects.  It doesn’t seem like Jake is a great boyfriend since he brought her to a large house with large rooms. 

He confirms he’s a terrible partner with the secret he’s keeping.  He plans to leave Rachel after this weekend and blames her phobia. He mentions the last straw was he got tickets to a ballgame for his birthday, and her phobia ruined it because they needed to leave.  Maybe don’t bring someone with fear of large objects to a stadium that is exceptionally large.  Jake basically ruined his own birthday.

As to be expected, people can’t resist making wishes and each person turns out to be a horrible person so their wish goes terribly wrong.  

Ridiculous dialogue

Let’s think about this shit, ok? Alright. What if… to undo all this fucking shit is through this lamp, alright? Because if we destroy it, we don’t change anything, right? Think about it, right? Okay. So if the lamp got us in this mess in the first place, maybe it will get us out, huh? Just think about it. Yeah?

Welsh Ghost Story (2025)

Four students intend to do a paranormal investigation at a farm where the owner was murdered.  They’ve done no research but have trucked in a ton of tea candles.  They keep talking about being inconspicuous so as not to attract attention.  Yet they turn on the lights in every room, and use the dishes, glassware, and stove.  They brought food, drink, plus their pajamas and toothbrushes because they are staying overnight.  They even sleep in the beds.  

I’m so confused. Did someone let them in? If so, why are they so afraid of being seen. When they hear someone outside, they quickly blow out the candles. Later it is confirmed they do not have permission to be there which makes bringing pajamas even more confusing.

The next night there is a knock on the door. Again they shut off the lights. Have you ever been outside someone’s house at night when they shut off the lights? It’s pretty damn obvious.  

A voice outside says it’s a pizza delivery.  When they don’t answer, the driver leaves the pizza outside.  There are four pizzas.  Jack decides to eat them. When he’s done, they see a note on the bottom of a box telling them to leave. Whoever wrote that note is an idiot because the only way to see that is to finish the pizza and hold the box up at such an angle that someone else can see the bottom of it. 

The next day Jack is sick from eating four large pizza’s. They can’t leave because he is the only one who drives.  Everyone is ready to go, especially after realizing their friend Willow looks exactly like the murdered woman. Yes, let’s bring a doppelgänger into the haunted house. That might explain why this weird stuff is happening.

This is another of the low budget British horror movies with low budget actors you’ve seen in other questionable movies. One of the characters wears a hat, which is an odd choice since it makes her look like a conehead.  It turns out to be from her hairstyle, but it’s really disconcerting to see.

This character should not have been given a hat

Blowing out the candles to hide but the lights are on

The lack of stealth by holding a flashlight in the window

Sleeping in the abandoned house under the covers

The nice clean kitchen with all the gadgets they could ask for

Quid Games (2023)

A bunch of college students who went to high school together receive texts about a party at the abandoned factory. None of them can figure out who the text is from, but sure let’s go. 

When they arrive, three silent weirdos in masks give them complimentary shots.  Logan chugs his down but the others are a bit wary before taking theirs.  

The masked people usher them into the building to the basement. There are no decorations, no food, no bar and no other people. There are only lights, some music and some construction debris on the ground.  No one is as suspicious as they should be. 

Eventually they are gassed and wake up to a voice on a loud speaker forcing them to play musical chairs.  The loser is shot with a dart filled with a toxin and dies. 

Thus begins the saga of being force to play kids games, with losers being permanently eliminated.  Everyone tries to think of people they hurt in high school who may want revenge. Some of the guys also bullied people in college.  There are flashbacks to the bullying, which make you understand the desire for  revenge. 

No reason to name this quid games other than to try to poach viewers who are confused or mistype the name of what they want actually want to watch. 

Ridiculous dialogue

Student: What do we do?

Tyler: I don’t fucking know.  We go to community college. I don’t know shit about shit. 

These kids and their eating cereal on their Zoom calls

Nothing suspicious about three masked strangers
dressed in black offering you shots

This is the party but they aren’t concerned yet

A room filled with lumber is the perfect place for hopscotch

Simon Says (2025)

Clara travels to a castle for the weekend to meet the man she’s been dating.  When she arrives, she goes inside and wanders around where she stumbles upon Dina, who is also there to meet a man she’s been dating. It’s the same man.

Shortly afterwards, Sam and Tony show up and they conclude they have all been catfished.  Dina wants to take revenge, but Clara just wants to leave.  When they find a dining table with place cards set for each, Dina sits down to eat.  Im sure it’s fine to eat the unappealing room temperature spaghetti and marinara that has been sitting out for hours. 

After dinner, they discover the man who invited them is in the castle. He informs them he loves them all and is not sure which one to choose.  That’s should be an automatic pass but he offers them his home.

They need to play a game to determine the winner and that person will get the castle with no strings attached. Clara is skeptical, but Dina wants the castle.  They are informed the game only works if all four stay. Dina says she is her own person and does what she wants, while simultaneously not letting Clara be her own person and do what she wants. 

The game is Simon Says, but it’s a board game where they draw cards that end up being specific questions about their secrets. Those who don’t answer truthfully within the time limit are sucked into a red realm within the castle and stalked by Simon. There are others in the realm who previously played the game and are still trying to hide.

This is a rough one to get through.  Dina is obnoxious, nasty and throws something at Clara when she says something she doesn’t like. Tony seems like he’s the worst lawyer ever since he says the contract to win the castle checks out after only briefly skimming the document. 

Ridiculous dialogue

Clara: The front door is locked.

Sam: Back door, too

Dina: What do you mean locked?

Dina: Tony, check that document. Make sure everything’s correct.

Tony: Give me a few minutes. Legal stuff is my forte.

Clara: I think we should leave.

Tony: Why?

Clara: Because none of this is right.

Dina: I’m interested to see where this is going.

Rumplestiltskin (2025)

Tim and Emma move into a new house and find a sewing machine with a huge basket of yarn.  Did they not do a walk through? Usually that stuff needs to be cleaned up before you move in.

Emma wants the clutter out of the house so Tim gets rid of it. The next day, Emma angrily tells Tim he was supposed to get rid of everything. Tim is confused since he already did.  

As he’s getting rid of it a second time, he notices a mask in the yarn basket. When he puts it on, he’s possessed and morphs into Rumpelstiltskin. Well his head does but his body is basically the same.

Strange things start happening. There is an attack nearby attributed to a bear, even though the rangers says it’s rare for bears to be nearby.  Emma sees a man down by the road and then he disappears.  Plus Tim is acting like a jerk. 

If you’re looking for excitement, you won’t find it here. It’s a low budget movie with awkward acting that will make you audibly exhale. None of the characters are particularly likable and Emma is annoying as hell.

Ridiculous dialogue

You’re not even showing. [Emma is only eight weeks pregnant]

Well that’s awkward

the creature enjoying his sewing machine

And scene. No notes.

Ghost Dance (1982)

After archaeologists dig up his remains, the spirt of a warrior seeks revenge by possessing a local medicine man and killing people. 

The dig is sponsored by the local university and the body is being studied by two professors.   One night Kay is followed by a man whose face looks like the face of the corpse. She’s upset and looks to her boyfriend for comfort.   Tom thinks her mind is playing tricks on her due to stress. Silly woman. 

When people at the museum are murdered, Kay becomes convinced it is the spirit of the man whose body is in the lab. She is worried she’ll be next, which she should be since the killer is roaming the museum and campus looking for her.

This is a slow moving but kind of neat slasher where warnings are ignored and women are not taken seriously.

Ridiculous dialogue

Kay: I’m telling you, he was here.

Tom: Sure, he was there. And it doesn’t matter if he was actually there or not. Because either way he was real enough to almost get you killed

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