Wednesday, December 25, 2019

All the Creatures Were Stirring (2018)

A couple on a first date on Christmas Eve end up at a community theater because it is the only place open.  The workers are rude, the play is odd, and there's a creepy old guy who keeps looking at them.  Surprisingly, they don't leave during intermission.

This is an anthology, which I'm always wary of since they often aren't very good. However on the plus side, each story doesn't  last long so there is always hope that the next story will be better.  The most interesting thing about this anthology is that Contance Wu - who starred in Crazy Rich Asians the same year -  appears in one of the segments.

Along with the wrap around about the couple at the community theater, there are five stories:

The Stockings Were Hung 
A boring office Christmas party turns deadly when everyone gets locked the break room and they are forced to open gifts, some of which were not brought by the party goers.

Dash Away All
After doing some late Christmas Eve shopping, a man locks his keys and phone in the car and decides to ask for help from the last vehicle in the parking lot, which is a creepy van.

All Through The House
A modern re-telling of A Christmas Carol with a neighbor who has lots of Christmas decorations.

Arose Such a Clatter
A man hits one of Santa's reindeers with his car and later pays the price.

In a Twinkling
A man turns down an invitation to a get together, so his friend brings the party to him, which is unfortunate because something strange occurs on this night every year.

The DVD cover makes you think there is going to be a story about a little creature breaking out of an ornament.  Sadly there is nothing even remotely like this in the movie.  I would have much rather seen the story of this creature than any of the stories in the movie.  You would only want to watch this if you were trying to watch every horror film about Christmas.  Otherwise there are better holiday horror movies out there.

Tuesday, December 24, 2019

Deadly Games (1989)

aka Dial Code Santa Claus
aka 3615 Pere Noel

Thomas lives in a mansion and spends his days pretending he's  Rambo. The house has trap doors in the floor, secret passageways and secret rooms. There is also a command post in the attic.

After Thomas gets in an argument with a friend about whether Santa Claus is real or not, he sets up cameras throughout the mansion to catch footage of Santa who has told him he'll visit.

On Christmas Eve, Thomas is home with his partially blind grandfather while his mother works later.   The family owns a department store and while parents do last minute shopping, the store provides entertainment for the kids.

Unfortunately this years Santa is a strange, creepy homeless guy who looks like an evil Zack Galifianakis.  This is a man who connected with Thomas through a computer and pretended to be Santa.  When Thomas wouldn't give him his address - since Santa should already know it - the psycho applied for the Santa job because Thomas mentioned his mom owned the store.

They must have been desperate for a Santa because this guy is really odd and not someone you'd want to bring around children. But this was the 80s, so I guess they weren't that careful about whose lap the kids sat on.

When Santa bitch slaps a little girl who is on his lap, Thomas's mother fires him.  She stays late to do the books, and creepy Santa ends up at her house which is a real problem since he wants to kill Thomas and anyone who gets in his way. It's essentially Home Alone if the robbers were killers instead.

Listen for the Eye of the Tiger rip off which is so similar I'm surprised there wasn't a lawsuit over it.