Night Zero (2018)

Three couples at a dinner party argue and appear to generally not like their partners.  One couple is on the verge of a breakup due to suspected cheating.  Oh this sounds like such a fun night out.

After a lot of unpleasantness and much talking, they discover they’ve gotten together on the night of an alien invasion.  What to do? Well stay in the house, of course. Especially since the military is fighting the aliens using chemicals which are turning people into raging morons with no inhibitions.  Those impacted want to kill everyone they see.

The majority of the movie takes place in the house. Wait, what’s that sound? I think I need to change the battery in one of my smoke detectors. Oh the sound is in the movie. It drove me freaking nuts. Sure if there’s an alien attack, things might go haywire, but it’s a terrible decision to subject the viewer to a constant beeping. It’s not increasing the tension, just making me hate your movie.

The characters constantly make bad decisions. They shine their flashlights when they know there are crazy people outside who want to kill them.  Good god man, stop shining your flashlights out the door and windows. Now they know you’re in there. Also shining a flashlight through a window at night is not going to give you a good view of outside. It’s more going to light up the window like a lantern.

Then we’ve got a character running down the street with a flashlight.  How about being stealthy or avoiding people? Nope, just going to stand here shining my light around so the crazies know where to find me. And why does she have a flashlight in a well lit street? 

When she goes indoors, she continues to use a flashlight even though the lights are on. She also takes her mask off knowing that the chemicals make people into rage zombies. What the hell, lady? I hate her so much.

Who holds their flashlight like this unless they’re a cop?

You’re expecting something exciting like on the cover,
but all you get is this

E-Demon (2016)

Four college friends were involved in the Quad Murders, so called because all four had murders in their homes while on a group chat. This is the footage of what happened that night.

Kendra, Dwayne, AJ and Mars went to college together. Now their lives are busy and they get together on line to catch up and talk about the good old days. AJ has given everyone headsets with audio and video so they can move around while they talk.

The group acts like they’re still in college. They insult each other, and not in a fond way.  They argue about who invented freak out, which was what they called their pranks. And they continue the tradition of horrible pranks by pretending to attack people in their homes. So when something goes wrong, everyone thinks it’s a prank. Oh you’re dead? Right, it’s a prank.

As things start getting weird in each person’s home, they start questioning if it’s real or they are the only person not in on the prank. They’ve already done pranks within pranks on this call. So are the attacks more pranks? Are the murders real? Mars grandmother warned him not to open the cursed trunk in the attic because there was evil trapped inside. His great, great grandmother was killed for practicing witchcraft in Salem. So is that the problem? Sigh. 

This is not a good use of your time. Why does AJ think the virus is airborne when they’re all in different cities?  Why does Kendra type “where are you guys” in the chat when none of them are at their computers? Why do thirty year olds think pranks are funny?  Why does Kendra keep her brownies in her bedroom?  And why do people think they can dismiss anything derogatory they say by claiming it’s locker room talk?

Ridiculous dialogue

Anyone who interrupts me will get a personal ass whipping from me.

Holy shit, I got my moneys worth. You got freaked!

It’s just locker room talk.

Bastion - It sounds like it could be a demon trap. How did it break?

Dwayne - Hold on, what’s a demon trap?

Bastion - It’s what is sounds like.

So they chose to cut off her feet and keep three
feet of nothing at the top of the frame?

We get to see them type

Name another movie where you read Wikipedia

Another victim has entered the demon chat

Hex(2022)

Oh no, not the cursed skydiving formation!  Well I guess we have to make sure we don’t do the formation. Oh wait, we’ve already done it?  Well that doesn’t mean we’re all going to die, does it? I mean it’s just a legend, right?  [clunk]

Sarah comes back to town after a long absence and heads to the local skydiving club.  Payson knows her father was a skydiver and asks her to join his group. Sarah always dives alone so she’s noncommittal, but ends up showing up the next day after her mother says maybe she should make some friends in town.  

When Lisa is put out by Sarah being there, Payson informs the others he invited her because he wants to the Hex which requires six people. The first try goes badly, but the second time they complete it and Payson disappears.  The others are unsure what happened since no one can disappear in thin air, but Payson is nowhere to be found once they are on the ground.

The next day another member of the group dies while diving.  Now accidents are starting to happen to those in the group, and Sarah finds out the Hex is supposedly cursed. Any team who does the Hex dies. Payson was aware of this, but kept the others in the dark. So the question we’re left with is, will Sarah or and the others survive now that they’ve done the Hex?

The skydiving footage looks nice, but I know nothing about skydiving. Is the Hex formation super difficult? If your altimeter sticks, should you still dive?  If the altimeter is a big deal, then why did they jump?  How does Sarah not know how her father died? She’s an experienced skydiver and her father was known, but she never heard rumors he died after doing the Hex?  Seems like word would get around and someone would ask about it.

Watch for the guy in the background in the bar scene who stands there as if he’s going to be in the scene but ends up having nothing to do with them.  Also when Payson stands on the table in the bar, it appeared that he was going to shout to get the attention of everyone in the bar. Nope, it’s just a jerk standing on a table.

This is a silly horror movie.  It’s pretty easy to avoid dying by just not doing the Hex. The skydiving scenes have generic rock music during most of them that sound like something in a video game.

Cliche dialogue

Just cause you’re the new girl doesn’t mean you can’t make friends.

What is she doing here? 

Hunted (2022)

Aka Hounded 

Four people are hired by an antique dealer to break into houses and steal valuables.  They’re given an address, an item to find, and a time when the home owners will be out.  They are paid when they bring in the requested item.

The leader of the group is only doing this to make enough money to put his younger brother through college. His brother stays with the car so he is not involved in the actual breaking and entering.  The other two have criminal records and plan to continue their criminal career.

After making enough money for college, the leader tries to call it quits but the other say they want to keep going since they are good at what they do.  He reluctantly agrees to do one last job. His brother insists on going in this time.  While the house they enter looks like no one has been there for awhile, they are not alone and someone in the dark knocks them out.

When they awake they’ve been transported to the middle of nowhere, released and doused in fox urine.  Perplexed as to what is going on, they hear the sound of a hunt and gradually realize they are prey.  The family whose house they broke into think this is an adequate punishment. 

The biggest issue with this film is there are no sympathetic characters.  We’ve got four criminals who break into peoples houses to steal their possessions versus four horrible rich people. The two brothers are the most likable, but it’s hard to like a thief. 

Chest (2022)

Three years after the film crew of the tv show Dark Appalachia vanished, their footage is found.  The intros tell us Stephanie is the eyes (camera), Yancy is the ears (sound), Isabella is the brain (producer), and David is the voice (narration).  Then there’s Mark who does something else.  

Their next episode is about a legendary box wrapped in chains in a cave.  They set up an interview with Jeff, whose run down house in the middle of nowhere. He doesn’t want them inside and tells them to go out back.  

Jeff’s father and his friend Bob found the box while hunting. They headed home to get some tools to open it, but Jeff’s mother was in labor and they never went back. Later that year Bob killed himself and Jeff’s father died, prompting the story the box was cursed.

But what is the story? Two guys found a box? What was in it? Did anyone ever see it again?   How did this group hear of this story?   We’re twenty three minutes in and we have no idea what the legend.

The group asks if the curse is real and where they can find the cave. Jeff agrees to help them locate it, even though there was conflict with the group.  For some reason Stephanie wanders around the house and finds an old woman in a room. Everyone freaks out because Jeff said no one else was there, and the woman is screaming they’re all going to die. Jeff is mad because he said he didn’t want them in his house and says they upset his dementia addled grandmother.

The next day they head into the woods with Jeff, and we’re left wondering why they would spend the night in the woods with a man they know they can’t trust. Jeff disappears which is never explained. The group finds the cave, but the opening is made out of concrete. It’s confusing why this wouldn’t have made it easy to locate. They go into the cave and as expected, things go horribly wrong.

The footage is often out of focus. Many times the background is sharp and the foreground blurry.  It happens enough so that you start watching and waiting for it to happen again.  You don’t care about the characters and they make some questionable decisions.

Focus.

The cave that has a concrete structure at that top.

Hey guys, only the background is in focus.

Hey guys, nothing is in focus. Should we reshoot it?

Feral (2017)

Six college students go hiking and one brings a fur coat.  Because the first rule of hiking is always bring your fur.  That night they sit around the fire and talk.  Everyone is in med school except for Jules.  

This group is a mix of people you won’t find appealing.  Matt proposes to his milquetoast girlfriend Brienne. Jessie is dating Gina but wishes he were with Alice.  Alice is dating Jules and their banter includes calling each other country girl and city girl.  I hate them already.

During the night Matt wanders off to relive himself. He walks and walks and walks. I’m not sure why he didn’t just go behind a tree near the edge of the camp but his Victorian modesty puts him in a distant place where he’s an easy target for an animal attack. When Brienne goes looking for him, she is also attacked. Inexplicably everyone can hear Brienne scream while no one heard Matt scream from the same location.

In the morning while trying to figure out how to get Brienne to safety, they run into Talbot who has a cabin in the woods.  He tells them it’s 20 miles to the service road that leads back to the parking lot. Since Talbot doesn’t have a phone, Jessie and Jules start walking. Jessie figures if they can walk at 4mph, they’ll be back before sundown.  That’s a pretty fast pace to maintain for a 20 mile walk. 

It’s not a great idea to have Alice’s girlfriend hike with the guy who wants to date Alice. And after an argument, Jessie ends up with his foot in a bear trap.  While you’d expect Alice to wedge branches in there to force it open far enough for him to get his leg out, she weakly pulls on it and then runs off to get help. Since they already know there is something deadly in the woods, Jules is not cool.

Surprisingly Jules finds her way back to the cabin even though it’s dark. Talbot tells them not to go outside to get Jessie because there is something in the woods that comes out at night. After some violent prodding, he reveals what is out there. He says they’re friends who were attacked are going to turn. Alice is suspicious but instead of trying to work with him or learn more, she locks him in the basement.  This is the first of many bad decisions that will make you realize the best parts of the movie are behind you.

Ridiculous dialogue

It’s like a cellar or something. [said after opening a trap door to a basement]

Her hat is twice the size of her head

The Invitation (2015)

This one is probably best viewed by going in cold with no real knowledge of the plot. Will and his girlfriend Kira get invited to a dinner party at his ex-wife Eden’s home. None of their friends have seen Eden or her husband David for two years. 

The other guests are excited but Will is reserved.  He and Eden used to live here when they were married. Their five year old son died in the backyard in an accident at a party.  Also Eden met David at a group grief counseling session and left Will for him so that’s awkward. I’m not sure why Will would even go to this.

Eden and David are different but their friends say grief does things to people.  Everyone expected this to be a gathering of their old friend group, but two people they don’t know join them.  Both are a little odd. 

Will thinks something is off, but everyone else seems okay with what is taking place.  A strange party game results in one of the guests becoming uncomfortable and politely asking to leave. There is pressure to stay, but Will insists she be allowed to go.  

The night gets stranger when David and Eden reveal they’ve spent the last two years in Mexico in a commune called the Invitation.  The leader helps people deal with their grief, but Will is getting more uncomfortable with every new thing that happens. 

He’s convinced something is wrong, but his friends say everyone in Los Angeles is weird so of course the new people are strange. Kira is not alarmed at anything taking place and thinks Will is over reacting. Is Will’s grief skewing his critical thinking ability or is everyone else blind to the possibility that something is extremely wrong here? And why does David keep locking the door? Is it really due to home invasions in the neighborhood?  

It’s never a good idea when people who’ve been living in a commune show you a promotional video about  it.  This is a decent thriller where you question what is going on, and then question if you’re being too paranoid about questioning what is going on.

Bodom (2014)

Annikki and Pietari are students doing a project on the 1960s murders of three teens at Lake Bodom.  They rent a small house near the lake. The shutters are closed, the rooms are dark and there’s blood in the sink.  Annikki thinks she saw someone outside, but Pietari doesn’t believe her. Creepy yes, but they’re going to stay.

Annikki finds a rattler on the porch, which turns out to be a rattle, not a snake.  Every month for the past year she’s found one on her porch, and now one is here. Pietari thinks it’s a prank. I’m thinking he’s not a great person to do a school project with since he can’t put together this means someone has tracked them from their homes to this house in the middle of nowhere. 

While at the Lake, they meet another couple and Pietari invites them over that night.  Annikki is not amused as she wants to work on the project and they’ve already interviewed the couple. Why would she want to spend more time with them?

The house doesn’t have any lights and there is an awkward conversation with the other couple. Pietari tells the couple about Annikki’s past, and she is not happy with his betrayal of trust. They didn’t get along well to begin with and this makes everything worse. Strange things happen and there you go. Found footage time. 

Blood in the sink? I’m sure it’s fine

The Demon (2016)

A college kid asks his uncle for the key to his second house so he can have a party with his friends. His uncle replies he doesn’t have another house which you’d think would be the end of it. But when his uncle leaves the room, the kid finds the key and steals it.

What the kid doesn’t know is his uncle abandoned the house years ago after his wife passed away in it. He was warned by a priest to leave and never come back due to bad energy in the house.  

The group goes to the house and parties. It’s fairly tame since they just sit around a table eating.  Then the nephew puts on a Santa suit and everything goes to hell.  We’re about 39 minutes in before anything odd happens, and even then it’s not much.

This is a slow moving film.  The description says they’re celebrating New Year’s Eve so why is someone playing Santa? At one point the nephew locks the front door with the key. I’m not sure why, other than a plot point to make sure no one can escape when things go off the rails. The house has bars over the windows so the door is their only hope to get out. I can’t even remember the end of this one.

Darkness Rising (2017)

Maddie, her boyfriend Jake and cousin Izzy go to her childhood home the day before it’s to be demolished. The house has been closed for twenty five years since her mother murdered her baby sister.

Maddie’s come here to try to make sense of things, but Jake is worried because she’s having nightmares and seems obsessed with the number five. Izzy is excited about the possibility of looting what was left behind, but gets upset when the others don’t pay attention when she models her new vintage leather jacket.

Poking around awakens the evil in the house and strange things start to happen. A barking dog keeps them from leaving, no matter what door they try to open.  Jake discovers some sort of force field around the house and Izzy gets possessed.

Maddie comes up with an idea the house is the problem and why her Mom went insane. She says a house with the same architecture has been in a number of cities and the families who bought the house all went crazy and murdered each other.  I’m not confident in Maddie’s research skills to believe that she could track this down.

While the start of the film has promise, the longer it goes on the more disappointed you’ll be. If the house has been empty for twenty five years, why is it clean? Why does Maddie think a house scheduled to be demolished after 25 years vacant would have a working toilet?  Why would they go into the basement to find a window to crawl out of when there are larger windows on the first floor? Why is Maddie convinced the dog is her dog from twenty five years ago? Why do they need to go into the death nursery to flag down a passerby? If indeed the house can move from town to town to find new victims, then why did it sit abandoned for twenty five years rather than strike out on it’s own and find a new family? Why would it let itself be destroyed? Did no one notice when this house appeared overnight?  And most importantly if a house suddenly appears, how does it hire a realtor?  

Also there is a continuity issue with the caution tape repeatedly being strung across the front porch and then being down again. 

There is no dust, dirt or spiderwebs after 25 years

The kitchen looks freshly cleaned

Maddie’s childhood toy is still white and clean

Caution tape is up.

Caution tape is gone.