Ashburn Waters (2020)

Binns organizes a camping trip for his friends from high school since they rarely see each other anymore.  Brett isn’t up for it after getting dumped but Binns convinces him it will be great to see the gang. However he neglects to tell Brett that his ex Scout is going and bringing her new boyfriend. Also they’ll all be car pooling.  So we already know Binns is kind of a dick.

When Binns goes in to check on getting a campsite, the manager laughs because it’s a holiday weekend and Binns has no reservation. When the manager says the only place with empty lots at this time of year is Ashburn Waters, the front desk person hushes him.  They don’t mention the reason its not full is due to the murders.

Binns doesn’t pick up on the tone and heads off to Ashburn Waters. When they see a man taking down the camp signs, Binns asks him about camping there. The man turns out to be the owner and angrily tells him to get off his property as the camp is closed. Binns tells the group it’s fine and they drive until they hit a locked gate. Brie has a bad feeling and wants to leave, but the others want to stay so they leave their cars to carry their stuff in.  

While walking, they see a creepy guy glaring at them from the woods.  No one is suitably alarmed at a creepy angry guy at an empty closed campsite. They decide to set up camp away from him, but later he shows up again and warns them to leave.  One of the guys says he can’t tell them to leave since he isn’t the owner. Lack of self preservation confirmed.  Things will not go well for them.

Ridiculous dialogue

Creepy guy: Leave if you know what’s good for you

Someone in the group:  He’s not the owner so he can’t do shit.

You made me cheat.

The Glenarma Tapes (2022)

Film students overhear two of their teachers referring to them as untalented gutter rats, before making plans to meet in the woods that night.  Thinking the teachers are having an affair, the students plan to film them and use it to their advantage.

They take a bus to a town near the woods and ask for directions from a local.  He tells them the legend of Harry Half-a-head, who shot half his head off and then wandered around the forest for a few days. He tells them to be careful since kids who go to the forest swear they see him.  The film students end up stealing his rental bikes because they don’t want to walk.

At the forest, the students wait at the forest for their teachers to arrive and then follow them into the woods. They’re a little too noisy to be following anyone, but I guess it’s not that important since they soon lose them.  They wander around until it’s almost dark. Then Gordy and Clair think it’s time to head back since it’s cold and dark and they’ll never find their teachers in the woods. At this point they realize they’re lost.  As they try to get out they see a light in the woods and hear people. They make another bad decision and decide to investigate. Also holding your phone in the air to get a signal in the dark woods is going to reveal your location. Stop hiding and holding a light.

This takes place in Ireland so the accents are great.

The most unflattering haircut known to man.