Ninja Turf (1985)

aka Los Angeles Streetfighter

New kid in school Tony is threatened by Chan, who claims to run the school, and demands protection money. Young, who ironically appears to be in his mid thirties, interrupts the altercation and agrees to fight Chan at night in an alley. After kicking Chan's butt, Young is approached by a couple dressed for a night on the town (complete with rhinestones), who hire Young and his friends to do security. Yes, everyone knows the best security guards are found by checking out high school fights in dark alleys.

After doing several security jobs, including one at a toga party(?!), Young and friends are hired by a rich guy whose party has free drugs for his guests and massive drug deals in an upstairs bedroom. Young observes the deal and decides to steal the drug dealers money filled suitcase while the dealer is having a bubble bath with his girlfriend.

In an even more brilliant move, Young and friends immediately run away, right in the middle of the party, thus making it completely clear that they stole the drug money. Yes, the money is gone and so is the entire security team. Can't be more obvious than that. This brings Superfoot Bill Wallace into play as the man sent to recover the money and teach these punks a lesson.

Contrary to the title, there are no ninjas in the film. The name just capitalizing on the ninja craze of the eighties. The dubbed film feature stilted dialogue, scenes that go nowhere, and many shots that are so dark you can't even tell who is there or what is happening. Sadly, it makes no difference to the plot.

There are subplots about Tony dating Chan's sister Lily, and Young's mother, who appears to be approximately the same age as Young and could pass for his wife. Even though they are supposed to be in high school, most characters look like they are in their late twenties or thirties.

Silliest dialogue:
1. My name is Mario. We heard about the rumble. That's why we came.
2. I run this school.... For starters you pay me $5 or I kick your ass.
3. Kill! Spike 'em! Kill! Spike 'em. (chanted by gang the Spikes)

Oddity of Note:

1. the couple at the high school fight dressed up in a suit and rhinestoned dress
   
2. the drunken leader of the Spikes wears a cut off shirt showing his bloated belly
   
3. Young has a mustache, not something normally seen on high school students
   
4. the toga party needs to hire security
   
5. there is a touching scene where the gang gives Mark a birthday cake
   
6. does this man look like he's a high school student to you?! Well does he??? Young, indeed.