Axe 'Em (2002)

Friends go to an old farm house for the weekend and a machete killer shows up.  Yes, that's right, the Axe 'Em killer uses a machete.   I guess no one involved with the movie had an axe they could borrow.  

This is cheap movie making at it's worst.  The sound appears to have been done with the in-camera mic and lots of the dialogue is completely unintelligible.  

There is a lot of food eating in this film.  So much eating that I suspect they got free food from restaurants in exchange for promising to eat it on camera.  It's really ridiculous.

This is just bad, bad, bad.  There are pointless scenes that go nowhere, an rrrrrr sound like out of Young Frankenstein, and you can even hear the director yell "cut" at one point before the scene ends.  Truly horrible.

Flight of the Living Dead (2007)

Scientists transport their newest experiment - a virus which brings flesh back to life and a donor body - on a commercial airline.  It's our pilots last flight before he retires to happily fulfill his dreams with his wife.  Death sentence confirmed, sir.

When the flight hits a storm, the crate in the cargo hold starts to leak and the guard in the hazmat suit doesn't notice until the body in the crate is reanimated.  Even then the idiot guard manages to shoot out the plane's communications rather than the raving zombie in front of him.

As zombies take over the plane, a small group tries to survive by banding together.  Two of the men have guns as one is an air marshall and the other was a lawman escorting a convict to a trial.

The screeching zombies sound like Pterodactyls, there is tin foil on the cargo area walls, the floors are cardboard thin, the air vents are big enough to crawl through, and surprisingly you can stuff about five zombies behind a plane's bathroom mirror.  

Biggest mistake of all?  Opening the cockpit door and letting in your sickly looking co-pilot when the plane is overrun by zombies.

Petrified (2006)

An alien mummy wanders around a hospital for nymphomaniacs looking for his hand and sucking the life out of anyone in his way, while a federal agent on an antique deal gone wrong tries to track down the alien.

The mummy aspect is portrayed by wrappings that are so  forgettable that I forgot it was a mummy as well as an alien.

I'm not a big Full Moon fan and this movie didn't do anything to change that.

Brain of Blood (1972)

Amir, the dictator of a small European country, is near death and arranges with a US doctor to transplant his brain into a young body.  Amir must be shipped to the US within a certain number of hours after death in order to have the transplant be a success.  This begs the question, why didn't Amir just travel before he died, thus relieving the question of whether the doc would have enough time to complete the transplant.

Once dead, Amir is wrapped in tin foil and his body placed in the care of his nehru jacketed advisor, Dr. Robert Nigserian.  Robert delivers Amir's corpse to crazy old brain guy, Dr. Lloyd Trenton.  Lloyd will be assisted by his twisted little dwarf sidekick and has sent his ward Gor out to look for a body for Amir's brain.

As is always the case when you send a retarded mutant to find a suitable freshly dead body, Gor causes a burglar to fall off a fire escape and break necessary bones, thus rendering the body useless.  As the allotted time for transplant is almost up and no body is available, wacky Lloyd decides to use the powerful, yet mutated Gor as the donor body.  Hilarity ensues.

Directed by Al Adamson, this is a mess of a movie.  It runs from boring to ridiculous, and all points in between.  There are some decent chase scenes as Robert chases a thug across rooftops and through the city.  

Skinwalkers (2006)

It's werewolf vs. werewolf, which is not as exciting as you would think.  There are two opposing groups of werewolves and both are interested in the fate of Timothy, a thirteen year old boy who holds to the key to their existence or extinction.

There is a prophecy that when the moon turns blood red and Timothy turns thirteen, the werewolf curse will end.  So the nice werewolves protect Timothy as they want to become normal again.  The bad werewolves look like something out of a biker movie, enjoy their wolfy power, and like to kill.  Thus they want  to kill Timothy.

As usual per this type of movie, Timothy's mother is clueless and incredibly annoying.

Frankensteins Castle of Freaks (1974)

Dr. Frankenstein experiments on a caveman who was killed while running around the countryside.  A creepy dwarf who was kicked out of the castle teams up with another cavemen to fight the doctor's reanimated caveman.  While this is going on, the doctor's daughter and her friends visit the castle for a ribald romp.  Very weird.