Friday, February 26, 2010

Alone in the Dark 2 (2008)

Not that much of this makes any sense. There is a witch made up of smoke that people repeatedly try to kill by shooting her. The bullets pass through her smokey old self, but they continue firing until she kills them.

They also try to fend her off with an electric fence, even though they know she can disrupt the power. There is a back up generator, but of course it fails immediately and then they need to leave the safety of their electric cage to go start it.

Then there is a dagger which if it cuts your skin, will infect you with the witches curse. But the dagger also can be used to kill the witch if you put a piece of her heart in it. Yet when her heart is in it, people keep destroying the heart because the witch is coming.

When infected with the curse, a person starts having hallucinogenic dreams and the witch will be able to kill you if you look into a mirror. After being warned not to look in the mirror, this is exactly what the main character does. Hoooboy.

Also everyone is searching for the witches lab. That's right, not her lair, but her lab. The lab turns out to be a cave with nothing in it that would make anyone call it a lab. Also confusing is that two people escape from the lab by crawling through tunnels and end up coming out the sewer drains. Seriously? The sewer drains lead to the witches lab? How is it an urban explorer hasn't discovered this?

Somehow this nonsense managed to get Lance Henricksen, Bill Mosely, PJ Soles, Danny Trejo, and Michael Pare. Yes, I know Pare has done some real dogs, but holy moly is one bad.

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