Death Bed: The Bed That Eats (1977)

Before watching Death Bed, there is the option of watching an interview with the director who tells a long drawn out story filled with inconsequential details which add nothing to his tale and make you want to fall asleep. This does not bode well for Death Bed.

The movie is literally about a bed that eats people. It also eats anything else that you might set upon it and can even send it's bed sheets out like tentacles to grab anyone trying to escape. The bed sits in an empty room which also has a mantle which is used as a fire place. Yes, it's only a mantle placed against the wall, not actually a fireplace. There is also a painting with a man sitting behind it who feels sorry for all the people the bed eats.

We meet the bed when a young couple comes to the abandoned mansion to have a tryst upon the it. Yeeech! If you went to an abandoned building, would you lie down on the bed in there, let alone take off your clothes? I wouldn't. But apparently I'm odd because everyone in this film has no problem jumping into an old bed in a long abandoned house. Gross!

As the couple make out, the bed eats their picnic lunch which consists of an apple, a bottle of wine, and a bucket of chicken. The items each sink into the bed, are consumed in a bubbling yellow liquid, and then the remnants are returned to the top of the blanket. When the male finds that his bucket of chicken is full of bones, he confusedly says, "I must have made a mistake." Yes, because it's so easy to mistakenly bring a bucket of bones to a picnic rather than edible chicken. I do that all the time.

As the movie goes on, people sink down into the bed and are slowly eaten. One girl fights her way out and almost makes it to the door before being dragged back into the bed's yellow liquid grave. When another girl finally figures out the bed is evil, her brother tries to save her by stabbing the bed. How I wish I was kidding when I wrote that.

His knife and hands sink into the bed, which is too bad since the bed ends up eating his hands. Luckily his sister is able to pull him off the bed. With skeleton hands raised in the air, he heaves a sigh of relief. As one part of his finger falls off, he dejectedly states that this will just keep happening and asks his sister to break off both his hands at the wrist. She complies.

This movie is hilarious, strange, and boring. Everyone should watch it once.