Rabid (2019)

Rose and her best friend Chelsea, a model, work for abusive fashion designer Gunther. Rose dreams of being a designer but Gunther thinks her work is pedestrian.

Due to her insecurity about the scars on her face (which are barely noticeable), Rose usually skips fashion events. But when Brad asks her to go with him to a party, she accepts. She’s having a great time until she overhears two of Gunther’s models calling her scar face and laughing about how Chelsea convinced Brad to take her tonight. 

Feeling the fool, Rose bolts from the club, gets on her moped and is hit by a car. She wakes up in the hospital with horrific facial injuries. The doctors tell her repairing the injuries could take years, is expensive and she will never look the same. Since heartless Gunther let her go after her accident, Rose has no job and no insurance to pay for the procedures.

When she sees an ad for the Burrows Clinic offering an experimental procedure at no cost, she and Chelsea make an appointment to meet with the doctors. Rose decides to move forward since it is her only hope.  The experimental procedure is flawless and the reconstruction is amazing.  But she reports having odd dreams about biting people and consuming blood, which is  upsetting since she’s a vegetarian.

At one point there is a public health crisis where people are advised to stay home due to a rabies outbreak. But Gunther has a show to do and fashion waits for no one. Who cares if the public is at risk, he needs to show his ugly fashions.  

Since Rose is now beautiful, she’s back on Gunther’s team and is helping with the show. When Chelsea arrives disheveled and stating she was bitten while riding the subway, no one is concerned. Other models seem ill and once again, no one is concerned. People fall down on stage and there is barely registered concern. Since rabies is not fashionable, everyone pretends the health crisis doesn’t exist.  We all know this isn’t going to go well.

This is a remake of a 1970s movie. 

Dialogue from fashion industry insiders

You know you’re pretty now, right? You don’t have to be nice.

Fashion never stops for anybody or anything.

Rose and her hideous scars which make her a fashion outcast

I don’t think I trust the Burrows clinic’s operating staff

The orange faced, be-wigged goon on the left is not a clinic
patient, but renowned fashion designed Gunther

Horror in the Forest (2023)

Redwood Forest is known for a high number of child abductions. Yet people still take their children into the woods to camp.  The police search for the missing, but if they are not found within 48 hours, they are never seen again.

Three paranormal investigators decide to explore the forest. They plan to retrace the steps of one of the recent abduction cases. They’re pointed towards Nelson, whose daughter recently went missing, who believes a witch stole his daughter.  His plan is to call the witch and make an exchange to get his daughter back.  None of the investigators think to ask any questions about what he plans to exchange.

They walk deep into the woods and reach their destination well after dark.  Nelson tells the group he makes the rules and they must follow them. They need to stay inside the circle no matter what happens.  If they leave the circle, they’ll die.

As expected, things do not go the way the investigators think they will. What’s unexpected is Georgie keeps shining the light in her own face in the middle of the pitch black woods, effectively blinding herself and making her whereabouts easy to find for whatever evil happens to be looking for her. 

Be prepared for a lot of this type of shot

Never go into the woods with a stranger

Stop using the light when you’re trying to hide

I’m sure the ghoul in the woods is perfectly safe

St. Patricks Day: The Sluagh Awakens (2022)

After striking it rich in the market, Colin takes his wife on a camping trip. While at a bar, they tell the bartender about their good fortune and their plans to camp.  The bartender warns them not to go camping tonight of all nights, but head back into the city.  Colin laughs in his face. The bartender angrily shows them scars on his arm which he says are from fighting a creature out there.  Colin and his wife laugh at him and the bartender is not amused.

Once outside Colin says the bartender was a dick, but his wife says maybe they should rethink their plans.  Colin isn’t worried since they’re in the middle of nowhere and the townsfolk are uneducated rednecks who suffer from mental illness. Surprisingly that statement does not concern his wife. But since she doesn’t have long to live, I guess she can’t regret it. Colin barely survives the creature attack and spends years blaming others because he didn’t heed the bartenders warning.

Seven years later Tara, her boyfriend Pierce, and sister Olivia head to the same town. Tara is so unpleasant it’s hard to imagine being trapped in a car with her.  They arrive on St Patrick’s Day and visit with Pierce’s uncle, the same man who warned Colin seven years earlier.  The bar is dead since the locals know if you want to party on St. Patrick’s Day you need to leave town.

Colin is also back in town seeking revenge on the creature who murdered his wife. He doesn’t seem prepared though. It’s like he has no real plan and not enough weapons. The kids end up being chased through the woods and take shelter at the house he’s renting for the weekend.  People keep making stupid decisions, such as running outside after getting in a fight. Or when Olivia looks over Pierce’s shoulder with a horrified look on her face, Pierce says “What?”  It never occurs to him it could be one of the creatures they previously escaped from, nor does he think to turn around or move. 

Other than the initial death in the set up, which is over in an instant,  it takes 50 minutes to get to the night of St. Patrck’s and the creatures attacking.

Ridiculous dialogue

Your uncle gave us a pretty half ass warning about it seven years ago. He knew and now my wife’s dead.

 

Has he done research about what could kill the monsters?

Tara is always side eyeing people

The scars that look like a Monster energy drink