I Know What You Did Last Christmas (2025)

A group of friends who no longer talk receive invitations for a reunion.  After they all arrive, they discover none of them know who sent the invitations.  It’s also revealed they had a falling out due to some horrible secret that resulted in a death of one of the group. 

They talk in vague terms about the incident and wonders if that is why they’re here.  One woman questions if everyone attended due to fear of blackmail, but the others maintain they did nothing wrong. Even lying to the police is couched as necessary since otherwise the incident would ruin their lives. 

The incident turns out to be Trey and Nico locking Millie out of the house in a snowstorm and then closing the drapes as she bangs on the sliding door.  She couldn’t get into the house and died. So their excuses it was just bad luck, or they didn’t do anything fall flat at this point.

There are many confusing things in this film.  Why did they lock her out? If it was a prank, then why didn’t they let her in later? Why do they think they did nothing wrong? Did everyone know she was locked out? Why don’t they leave the reunion when they discover no one knows who set it up?  Why do some of the women not recognize Sam when he looks exactly the same as when they last saw him?  Why do they say Cassie hasn't spoken to Nico in three years when the incident took place last year?  And why is the person in the Santa suit doing this?  The motivation for the prank is never clear.

Christmas Bloody Christmas (2022)

Tori owns a records store and plans to meet up with a guy on a dating app. But her employee Robbie, who wants to hook up with her, convinces her to go to the bar with him. On the way, they stop at a toy store to give some whiskey to a friend who is planning to entertain her boyfriend there on Christmas Eve. Then Tori and Robbie continue on to the bar.

The toy store has a lifesize robotic Santa. It’s a military grade robot that was converted to Santa and marketed as a way to keep children safe from degenerate local Santas. But there is a problem with the conversion and Santa is now acting on its own and the mission is extermination. 

After dispatching the couple in the toy store, Santa walks out on the street and sees Tori and Robbie drive off. He follows them and the carnage starts next door to them. Santa is like a terminator in that it never stops when going after its target.

With dead bodies piling up, the police aren’t happy. But it’s a small town, they all know each other, and they don’t believe Tori killed people. But they also don’t believe her story about a killer Santa.

This is okay, but nothing I’d ever watch again. It’s much better than most of the Christmas horror I watched this month.  The characters aren’t that likable so you aren’t invested in rooting for them.  The most annoying part is Tori is one of those characters who avoids telling people what is going on. If you’re screaming at someone and they don’t know what you mean, maybe tell them there is a killer behind them. That is something they should understand.

Terrifier 3 (2024)

I haven’t seen the first two movies and there was only a brief flashback so I may be missing important details because I have no background in what occurred before.  Sienna, previously a victim of Art the clown, is out of the psych ward and goes to stay with her aunt, uncle and cousin Gabbie, who follows her around like a puppy dog and wants to know everything about her. 

Sienna’s brother Jonathan is at college in the dorms, where his roommate is hooking up with Mia, who hosts a true crime podcast.  Mia is positively giddy to meet him and has so many questions about his trauma. She repeatedly tries to convince him to be on her show since it will give her clout. She’s too self absorbed to realize how insensitive she’s being.

Meanwhile Sienna is seeing things that aren’t there and thought she saw Art in town.Nobody believes her, not even Jonathan who just wants to move on. But Art actually is on the loose and he’s killing people all over the place.

After spending this month watching low budget Christmas horror, it’s nice to watch a movie with a big budget.  That being said, the movie just kind of rambles along. For most of the movie, Art and Sienna’s stories do not overlap.  Art’s off killing people he meets and Sienna is wondering if he’s really out there or it’s just her fears. A lot of the kills are in the torture realm, which I don’t enjoy. 

The Mean One (2022)

On Christmas Eve in Newville, Cindy goes downstairs and finds the Grinch dressed as Santa Claus. She gives him her necklace. Then her mom walks in, screams and attacks Santa Grinch.  When her mom dies in the fight, Cindy screams Santa is a monster.

Twenty years later, Cindy and her dad drive back to town to put the house on the market. Cindy’s therapist thinks it will help her get closure. They are pulled over by a new deputy, who tells them they can’t have Christmas decorations on their car as it’s a distraction. 

When Cindy and her dad look for some decorations, they discover there aren’t any decorations in the entire town. The Sheriff says no one takes Christmas seriously. Cindy and her dad have some decorations with them so they decorate the house. Immediately they are attacked by Santa Grinch and Cindy advances to orphan status..

No one believed her story of a green Santa as a child and they don’t believe her now. The nurse says it’s grief bordering on psychosis. But Cindy knows what she saw.

When Cindy goes up on a mountain to take some photos, she sees Santa attacking some hikers, reels backwards and falls into a cave. There she finds the wallet of a hiker who disappeared.  Now she and the deputy attempt to solve the mystery of what is really going on in town, and whether the Mayor is covering it up.

I expected more from this. It’s a good concept but not funny, or scary. The Grinch make up is decent though.

It Cuts Deep (2020)

Sam is bringing girlfriend Ashley to his childhood home for the holidays.  Ashley is interested in marriage, but Sam avoids the subject by making immature jokes and interrupting her.

While in town they run into Nolan, who says he was Sam’s best friend.  Ashley is confused since Sam’s never mentioned him.  Later they run into Nolan and his wife, and he says they should get together some time. 

But Sam does not want to see Nolan. Every time Nolan shows up at the house or they run into him, Sam’s paranoia increases. He thinks Nolan is following him and that Ashley likes him. Ashley tells Sam he’s overreacting since they used to be friends. Plus it’s a small town so it doesn’t seem weird.

Nolan mentions something terrible happened when they were teenagers, but Sam tells him to shut up and refuses to talk to Ashley about it.  A flashback shows two teenagers killed by a machete.  Nolan mentions his sister died tragically and there is an allusion that it may have been at Nolan’s hands. 

As the movie goes on, you’ll start to wonder if Sam is an unreliable narrator or Nolan is a cad and a killer. You’ll also wonder why Ashley is dating Sam. He seems to have no redeemable qualities, ignores her feelings, is immature and is a terrible cook - which is fine other than he refuses to admit the food is garbage.

Slay Ride (2024)

Holly stops at a convenience store on the way home from work on Christmas Eve. The clerk is listening to a news alert about a killer dressed as Santa who strikes convenience stores. The news warns the public not to walk alone in any convenience store parking lots.  

After being rude to the clerk, Holly walks out to her car and neglects to check the back seat.  Surprise, it’s killer Santa!  After a fight, Santa falls out of the car and Holly goes to the police station.

After being rude to the police, Holly wants to go home. The detective informs her Santa has killed eleven women in eleven days and each of them was having an affair. Holly avoids answering his question about if she’s having an affair, and continues her rude streak.

When the police tell her the killer used to live in her home, she freaks out. They accompany her back to her house and confirm no one is inside except her family.  Two police are posted outside, in case anything happens.

Shortly after this, the killer appears in her home.  He insists Holly is naughty and must pay for her sins. The last half of the movie is Holly and her family being tied up, getting loose, and Holly fighting the killer. But don’t expect any excitement. It plods along, including a monologue where the killer chews the scenery as he adapts the Night Before Christmas to his childhood trauma when his dad murdered his mom.

I think Holly is supposed to come off as a strong woman, but she comes off as a woman who regularly asks to speak to the manager. I wasn’t sure if it was written that way or the actress chose to play it like that. Later I discovered the actress is also the writer so I guess it was both.

Holly makes bad decision after bad decision, but so do most of the other characters in the film. When her neighbor comes over because he heard gun shots and sees her possibly dead husband on the floor, he scoffs when she says a killer is in the house.  The neighbor accuses her of the violence and offers to lie to the police if she has an affair with him. 

The police officers left to guard her also made some really bad decisions. A lone man tied one cop to the steering wheel and decapitated the other. How did he get the drop on both of them?   Surely one would have noticed there was an issue before both were incapacitated.

The most ridiculous plot hole is the lack of response from the police.  They are aware Holly was attacked by a serial killer who used to live in her home. They station two police outside.  Later at the station, one of the cops tells the detective that ten minutes ago they got a 911 call from her home, but no one was on the line. Did they just hang up? Then they got a call from the neighbors about shots fired, and they can’t get hold of the cops outside the house. Yet it barely registers there may be a problem. They are in no rush to send anyone to check on it.  Even after this scene, there is a long period of time before the police show up. Oh and the Detectives last name is Donner.  Merry Christmas!

Ridiculous dialogue

Detective: This killer only targets people who, women who are having an affair. Is there something I need to know?

Holly: Like what?

Husband: You have to help her!

Detective: Has anybody gone after her?

Policeman:  No, no one has.

You see that? He’s dead. And you never have to be afraid of him ever again. Santa Claus killed him.

It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Murder (2022)

Diana and her friend Riley are into true crime, and also work together at a business Diana started. When her aunt Tippy is found dead at the bottom of the basement stairs, Diana is convinced she was murdered. Tippy was always so careful about holding onto the railing, so there is no way she would have fallen.

When Diana arrives in town, she is suspicious of anyone who might have been around Tippy - the housekeeper, the lawyer, the detective neighbor who was peeking through the hedge, and the ex husband. 

She meets Tippy’s next door neighbor Breanna, who says Tippy was her best friend. She also reconnects with her ex boyfriend Matt, who ends up on the suspect list after he enters the house without asking and is roaming downstairs. 

Diana keeps asking the detective if there are any updates about Tippy's death, even though she’s repeatedly been told they are not looking into it since it was ruled an accident.  But Diana won’t give up. Her passion for true crime and talks with Riley solidify something is wrong with the death.

When she can’t find the Christmas village Tippy used to put out every year, she wonders if someone took it. Later she discovers the houses and figures are worth up to one thousand dollars each, and becomes more convinced Tippy was murdered. Egged on by Riley, Diana gets deeper into investigating and plans to confront the person she thinks murdered Tippy, which isn’t a great idea. If a murderer thinks you’re the only person who knows the killed someone, you’ll likely be murdered too.

This movie showed up on Tubi in a list of Christmas horror movies so I thought it was horror. The logo at the beginning was LMN, which I didn’t realize was Lifetime Movie Network. So that tells you everything you need to know.  It was actually okay and the cliches were pretty amusing.  There were a lot of red herrings about who the murderer was, and Diana fell for all of them.

In the first seven minutes, we are bludgeoned over the head about how Diana has a successful business. Through out the movie this fact is shoved down our throats over and over. And that is the only violence in this film.

Ridiculous dialogue

Diana: She was cleaning the basement floor, like really scrubbing it.

Riley: I don’t know. You’ve got to keep an eye on her, Diana. You know what they say, never underestimate the help.

Diana: Yeah, she seemed angry about something.

Mrs. Hobart: You’re the entrepreneur.

Diana: Oh… no, I just, I own a small company in San Francisco.

The detective neighbor peeking through the hedges

Has anyone ever served ears of corn after a funeral?

Going to check out the noise in the basement after
believing her aunt was murdered in the basement = no survival skills

‘Twas the Night (2023)

A teenage girl whose sister was murdered tracks down the people responsible on Christmas Eve, since this is when they commit their crimes.  Then she tells them some stories her mother used to tell her.  It’s all about getting rid of people who don’t appreciate the true meaning of Christmas. I’m not sure how horror stories would help a child understand the holidays, but okay.

The group of three have a seven year partnership. They work on Christmas Eve because it’s the one night everyone is distracted with gifts and parties.  They say it’s the only night they can move undetected.  I thought they were going to be robbing empty houses. But grabbing kids seems like it would be harder on Christmas Eve because there would be more people in the house.

What bugged me about this movie, besides the acting, was the adults never tried to escape from their teen captor.  They are tied up on the ground but never try to fight back or overpower her as she gets down near them. 

The movie ends with judgement by Krampus as to how people who did not appreciate the holidays will spend eternity.

Gnome Sick: 7 Slays ‘Til Mithras (2025)

After Pete’s agent drops him, he drives home and discovers his family is nowhere to be found. They have a business making homemade wooden Christmas ornaments. This is the first year his father has been behind in filling the orders.

Meanwhile the Santa Slasher is on the loose and killing again. What Pete doesn’t know is his father is the slasher, and the title is handed down through his bloodline.  It’s Pete’s turn to take on that role.

What about the gnomes, you ask?  They are Pete’s family who were  murdered by his father and turned into gnomes which he controls with his mind.

This is a horror comedy, but falls flat on both genres. 

In Fabric (2018)

Sheila discovers her ex husband already has a girlfriend. She feels even more lonely when her son gets a girlfriend who stays over night and gets into her things.  So she decides to respond to some lonely hearts ads in hopes of finding a partner.

After confirming a date, she decides to buy a new dress to make a good impression. The store has some odd sales women dressed in clothing from the 1800s.  Shelia thinks nothing of it when she finds a dress she likes and the saleswoman says the color is artery red.

After a disaster of a date, Sheila discovers she has a rash from the dress. Not only that, but there are strange noises in her wardrobe at night, she is attacked by a dog, and her washing machine is destroyed when trying to wash the dress. Things do not go well for Sheila.

Half way through the movie, the main character switches to Reg. His friends bought the red dress for him to wear at his bachelor party. He also gets a rash from the dress. 

Reg is the most unenthusiastic groom ever. He doesn’t seem fond of his fiance. He works for a repair company and when he speaks of repair issues and their resolutions, people go into a trance. The dress will not do any favors for him or his fiance.

This was listed with the Christmas horror movies on Tubi. It takes place at Christmas time but doesn’t factor into the  plot. It’s an odd but well done movie. That being said, I didn’t get it. Why were the sales clerks all wearing what appeared to be Victorian clothing? Was there something we were supposed to discern from the salesclerk wearing a wig because she’s totally bald? Who was the old weirdo that appeared to be their boss? Why did they limit who could come into the store, even though they advertised on tv and in the paper? Why did people in the store go crazy? Where was she going in the dumbwaiter during the fire and why did she save that mannikin? And why were there weird commercials for the store on tv? Did everyone see them or was it targeted toward those who had already interacted with the dress?

Elf in the Hood (2024)

The movie begins with three people wearing fuzzy balaclavas in the street. Who are they? Why is one being beaten by another?  I’m still not sure who the guy they beat up is, but the other two are Jada and Malik. When they get in the car, there is a weird looking doll in their back seat. They seem surprised.  What is it? Did the guy they were beating put it there? Did they steal it?

Jada and Malik are in debt and facing eviction. So Malik decides they’ll sell the doll, then move and get a fresh start. Jada doesn’t want to leave. But she starts packing her most important stuff, including the fuzzy balaclava.

Cut to what appears to be a huge apartment block in China. Are they supposed to be in China? Where is the hood? What does this have to do with anything?

They visit a woman who is considering purchasing the doll. She tells them they’ll have to wait for her appraiser, who will arrive in a few hours. Then she locks the doll in her safe.   

Malik and Jada are not happy about the wait. They decide to break into the safe but then find the doll on a shelf. How’d it get out? Are there multiple dolls? Wait, now it’s outside driving a car.  

The appraiser says the doll is Juju, created by 17th century slaves to hold angry spirits. If someone’s spirit possesses JuJu then anyone who had anything to do with their death will be in trouble.  If they can survive until Christmas morning, his power will diminish. WHY?? 

This is not great, but I kind of enjoyed it.  There is a practical effect of a foot being cut that looks really good.   The title is misleading because he’s not an elf and we don’t really see the hood. Jada and Malik have a pretty nice apartment and the last half of the movie is in a rich woman’s house.

Ridiculous dialogue 

Snitch! Rats don’t need feet.

Juju is not just a mere doll. He’s a supernatural being capable of defying the physical defines we understand.

Fuzzy balaclavas

Juju sitting in the car

The candles are in front of the actress’s face… keep rolling

That bedroom looks pretty nice for the hood

The Naughty List of Mr. Scrooge (2024)

Ten years after graduation, a group of friends heads back to town for a reunion. They’re all going to stay at Chandler’s in the house she inherited.  The friends have taken different paths in life and want to catch up.  Tabbie brings her boyfriend, which is odd since he wasn’t invited. Who brings an uninvited guest to stay at someone else’s house? 

When weird things start happening, the group wonders if Chandler is messing with them as she used to love pulling pranks. She insists it’s not her. When the maid goes missing and they discover someone elses head in the house, they realize they are in danger.

This leads to a bunch of exposition about the death of Tabbie’s ex-boyfriend right before a performance of a Christmas Carol. So when a killer wearing an old man mask and dressed as Scrooge shows up, they figure the two are related.

This is fairly tame and it’s easy to determine the killer. There is a scene where Tabbie’s boyfriend gets upset she didn’t tell him the backstory about her exes death and the details around it. Why would she? It was traumatic and she’s only known you a few months. Most people don’t trauma dump in new relationships.

Some scenes have a super shallow depth of field 
which makes viewing it kind of nauseating

Carnage for Christmas (2024)

Lola is a true crime podcaster who is heading home for Christmas. It’s the first time she’s been back since she came out as transgender.

Her interest in true crime began due to a family annihilator in her town nicknamed the Toymaker, who used to play Santa for the local  kids. For years after the murders, teenagers would go into the house blindfolded and call for the toymaker. Rumor was he’d either kill you or show you where his dead daughter’s body was hidden in the house.  Lola was the one who located the body which peaked her interest in true crime.

When murders start occurring shortly after Lola arrives, the police label her a person of interest and tell her not to leave town. They suspect it’s either her or a follower of her podcast. Constable Kent is assigned to watch her, but he’s a fan of her podcast so he’s kind of lax about keeping tabs on her.

Lola starts investigating and makes a deal with Kent which makes no sense. He has to give her all the info the police have and then she’ll decide if she can trust him. Also he has to let her come and go as she pleases. 

Kent proves to be even worse at his job than suspected when he finds a dead body and instead of calling the police to gather evidence, he calls Lola.  While they suspect one of the police may be compromised, Lola being at the scene before police or forensics is likely to implicate her, especially with the hair tossing. 

Better than some of the other films I’ve recently watched since I managed to make it through the entire movie, but not great. 

Ridiculous dialogue

You have to promise me to text me every ten seconds so I know where you are.

Some scenes have very unflattering lighting

The crazy subtitle on the news

Lola tossing her hair around contaminating the crime scene

Advent (2024)

Hailey is a podcaster, YouTuber, and does a blog on urban legends. She’s 26, lives at home, struggles with depression, has an alcoholic father and 100 followers.  

She’s looking to increase her following so she buys a Krampus advent calendar on the dark web. She plans to vlog about it each day and prove the legends aren’t true. What legend, you ask? The one that says if you open each door on the calendar, the devil will take your soul on Christmas morning.  

Her friend Charlie believes the legend is real and they shouldn’t mess with it. His dad was psychic and told him curses are real.  But Hailey jokes of course it’s not real and there is no risk.

Each day she opens a door on the advent calendar and films herself completing the task listed, including sacrificing Charlie’s guinea pig. I’m not sure if he realized her role in its death before he disappeared.  She has notifications on her phone so she can see every time someone likes one of her posts. Yikes!

As the days go by, Hailey gets what she thinks is a cold.  There is a lot of exposition provided by Hailey’s college advisor, which is intercut with the scenes of Hailey and Charlie. 

Ridiculous dialogue

Hailey’s mother had become that person you see in the town square conversing with the air.

The modern advent calendar with skulls on each day

He Sees You When You’re Sleeping (2024)

Christmas Eve 1963 - after Uncle Nick reads Chester a bedtime story, he says Santa isn’t always nice and may kill you with an ax. Nick is petrified. Chester’s parents can’t understand why Chester doesn’t say goodbye when Nick leaves.

His parents hear a news report of Henry Bates, an escapee from the local sanatorium who is wearing a Santa suit. Shortly afterwards Chester sees Santa kill his parents. Then he loses his damn mind. Henry is later convicted of the killings.

Cut to 1980 and Chester is released from the asylum. His girlfriend picks him up and they head to his family home for Christmas. He’s letting his aunt and cousins live in the house he inherited from his parents.

Shortly after Chester returns, someone in a Santa suit is seen outside.  Chester keeps finding notes signed HB, and believes the killer is back.  But the notes disappear before he can show them to anyone else. His girlfriend wonders if he’s taking his medication. Even though no one believes him, there is definitely a Santa with an ax killing people who are near the house.  

This is a low budget movie and while it’s not great, it’s far better than the last few Christmas horror movies I’ve seen.  The song over the end credits sounds like it’s the closing theme of a 1980s sitcom. 

Massacre on Aisle 12 (2016)

Dave arrives for his first night of work, which oddly enough is on Christmas Eve. For reasons not explained, he starts work at closing time.  He and Jackson are asked to move a large floor model tool box, but it’s too heavy.

A group of employees gather as the manager unlocks the box to determine what is weighing it down. Inside they find a dead body. While they check to see if anyone remembers him, they notice he’s holding onto a bag filled with cash.

The workers are split about whether to call the police or take the money.  After Jack makes a racist remark which causes a fight, he runs off, gets high, padlocks the front door, cuts the phone line and destroys their cell phones. 

Everyone is angry about being locked inside on Christmas Eve. The arguments over the money continue. Then fear kicks in when they realize it’s possible the killer is locked in with them, or may even be one of them.

The comedy falls flat and there isn’t really any horror. 

Zombies Christmas Apocalypse (2024)

The movie begins with Jordan, who works at a bar and her boyfriend Dave who’s just been called up to the major leagues.  Dave asks her to marry him and as they walk from the bar to their car, they are attacked by zombies. So say goodbye to our established characters and get ready to spend the rest of the movie with Luke.

A group of survivors are holed up in large building. They venture out to look for supplies and survivors, but sometimes the zombies get them. Some of survivors think they should go to a bigger city before they run out of supplies or the zombies find them.  Luke says they should stay put since they know this town and it’s safer than a larger city.

There is a woman with an unnecessary eye patch who unlatches a door to release zombies. Why don’t the zombies attack her? I have no idea.

Apparently this is the 2017 film Zombie with extra scenes tacked on to the beginning and end of the movie so they could call it a Christmas movie.  This is boring and clocks in at almost two hours. Why?! Why are movies always close to 2 hours long now? They don’t need to be, especially when they aren’t very interesting.

Curtain for Christmas (2024)

Holly loves Christmas and watching holiday romance movies. Her family is dead so she hopes to meet someone who loves Christmas as much as she does. But they’ll have to deal the fact that she has an imaginary human sized rat named Dominick who talks like Paul Lynne. Also she’s a psycho.

A chance encounter with Jay leads them to realize they both love Christmas. Jay invites her to the gingerbread competition his family holds each year.  When Holly discovers Jay invited her as a friend and he’s married, she begins plotting on how to get rid of his wife so she and Jay can spend Christmas together.

This is an indie film with a low budget. There is suspension of disbelief needed for many scenes, but the movie wasn’t comedic enough to make it work. Also if you are making snow angels, you can’t be an arms length apart because you can’t do the wings.

A Creature Was Stirring (2024)

Th

An additive is put in the world’s water supply without being properly vetted. The side effects are heart attacks, diarrhea, and a zombie apocalypse. 

After Mrs. Clause is bitten by an elf and turns in to a zombie, Santa moves to Texas. He spends his time talking to AI, interacting with a zombie neighbor, and using a ham radio to try to connect with children.  He also reads stories to himself and goes into town to make ice cream. 

I started watching because I thought this was a horror movie, but it quickly became apparent it’s a family movie. The zombies have green goo in their mouths or on their skin, but otherwise don’t look that bad. This is another movie where I bailed after twenty minutes.

At one point Santa says, “If you’re going to make a zombie omelette, you need to crack some eggs.”  Then it cut to a gooey cake being extracted from a pan and a family at the dinner table. I was totally confused about who these people were until I realized it’s a commercial because I was watching on Tubi. Perfect timing on that transition.

Christmas Bloodbath (2024)

The description said strangers trapped in a holiday themed museum find out the animatronics have a mind of their own.  Unfortunately I did not get to the animatronics because I could’t take more than twenty minutes of this. It would probably be okay if you were into Troma movies. There are bad wigs, a puppet who owns an industrial plant that pollutes the city and generates toxic waste, a middle aged  band, and a brother who accompanies his sister on her first assignment in an undefined job, where they visit an annoying old lady.

Bog Creatures (2003)

 

A professor has a breakdown after he’s roundly laughed at for his  theory bog people are not Christian peasants, but evil Viking berserkers.  He enlists five students who’ve been kicked out of college to go on a dig in the bog.  Well that should help his credibility. He gives them maps and instructions on where they should dig.

Max, who has worked with the professor for years, thinks he’s an idiot. He doesn’t like being out near the castle and the bog because it always feels like someone else is there. Also how did they not find the bog people in all the years he worked there when they are only several inches below the surface? 

There are flashbacks to swords and castles and I think someone was  wearing jeans in the Viking times.  

Ridiculous dialogue:

Susie is gone and we all loved her but she’s gone and we have to accept that. 

What I want is for you to send as many men as you can possible muscle up to Valborg Castle immediately. Because people are being murdered…. How do I know? I know because I am a scientist and it is my job to know.

He reminds me of a pencil with an eraser on it

The ancient body buried a few inches under the soil

Night Explorers: The Asylum (2023)

Ozi and Jim partner with another paranormal team to explore a reportedly haunted asylum scheduled to be destroyed. They’ve paid $10,000 to get access to the entire building and will be the last people to explore it.  

Ozi thinks it’s a good investment and expects to recoup their costs and make income when they post it to their channel. It’s the age of scripted reality shows and viewers want entertainment. They’ve been faking their videos and he wants to take their channel to the next level and get real footage.

The two teams meet the night before their investigation and party into the night. They get up late and arrive at the asylum after the sun goes down. You’d think after spending so much money, they’d want to get there early to set up, look around and plan what they were doing, but nope.

As they start filming, they mention there’s only one door to get in and they’ll be inside all night. Then they shut the cameras off and talk about how they don’t really have to stay there. They can explore, gets shots of themselves inside and then leave. This makes no sense based on the money they spent and wanting to do real investigations rather than faking things.

As they split up and explore, the small groups hear noises and it sounds like something is heading towards them. Although their whole purpose is to discover evidence of the supernatural, they run away. They’re doing everything they can to avoid confirming if the asylum is really haunted. 

Once they realize someone or something is attacking them, you think they’d try to avoid detection. However there is a lot of screaming which is helping the menace pinpoint them. Emma is a total liability and these idiots keep yelling to each other, which is attracting the attention of what they are trying to avoid.   

Another movie with unlikeable characters who make bad decisions. And why would they pay $10,000 to get full access to a location and then decide to half ass it, just shoot some footage and go home?  

This Never Happened (2024)

Matteo goes to Mexico for his father’s funeral and brings Emily, his girlfriend of six months.  His father’s home is going to be sold so his mother offers to let Matteo and his friends stay there over night.  Matteo doesn’t think it’s a good idea, but Emily convinces him it will be fun.  Oh Emily, if your partner doesn’t want to do something with his friends, there’s probably a reason.

The group decides to party and after drinking and taking drugs, they break out tarot cards and crystals.  Emily's grandmother believed in both and used to have visions of the dead.  When Emily holds the crystals, they turn red and burn her. Emily is alarmed but the others thinks it’s a party trick. 

Is Emily truly having visions? Is it the medication she’s taking? Did one of Matteo’s friends drug her?  And why does she keep seeing horrifying visions of a woman? Emily should have listened to Matteo when he said they shouldn’t stay in the house.

Scarecrow (2013)

Right out of the gate things make no sense when a group of teens get bused to an old farm for high school detention.  The farm is being sold so they need to dismantle the old scarecrow and bring it into town.  

This is the 100 year celebration of the yearly scarecrow festival. The farm has been abandoned for twenty years. Kristen, whose family owns the farm, says she’s not sure how the legend started.

Oh what legend, you ask? The one about the farm being haunted, and thirty people being killed and eaten by the scarecrow. But nothing has happened in twenty years so it’s fine for these teenagers to be playing around. Except that instead of getting to work, they run  around in the fields. During their tomfoolery, some minor cuts occur which is unfortunate since spilling blood on the land brings the scarecrow to life again.

The movie is mostly the group holed up in the abandoned farmhouse trying to figure out how to escape or get help.  At one point a sheriff shows up and instead of explaining what is going on, they keep saying “It’s not what it seems.” Thus ensuring the sheriff has no idea there is a killer scarecrow on the loose and he’s the only one outside with it.

The Devil’ Door (2022)

Tori and her cameraman Dean have found a coyote, aka human trafficker, who agrees to let them come on his next trip.  Dean thinks it’s suspicious he’s letting them film, but Tori says it’s not suspicious at all. Tori doesn’t seem like a good journalist if she has no qualms about this.

When they meet, the coyote says to leave their cell phones in the car and shut off their camera.  They must agree to stay out of the way, let him do his job, and do exactly as he says. They agree they won’t interfere. They also need to put sacks over their heads because he doesn’t want them filming while he transports them to a new location. Dean is apprehensive and Tori says it’s no big deal.  Tori doesn't seem to have any self preservation skills.

After getting under a tarp in the back of his truck, they ignore his instructions and start filming.  Once they stop in the middle of the desert, they turn on a bright light. It seems like a bad idea to broadcast where you are in an area known for smuggling humans.

The coyote reminds them they are only observers and can’t get involved in anything that happens.  He leads them to a locked grate in the rock. A scared young woman begs to get out and Tori immediately forgets her promise and gets involved. As the coyote asks for the package from the young woman, Tori  grabs the cage and insists the coyote let her out. Tori thinks she’s an investigative reporter, but comes off as a college student on her first assignment.  

While this is a found footage movie, there is background music in parts of it, which is a bad idea. 

Ridiculous dialogue

Dean: Why is this guy going to let us expose him as a human trafficker?

Tori: There’s more to it. He has a story. And this is our chance to stand out from those shitty border crossing stories.

How are we supposed to tell your story if we can’t see it?

Tori: What do we do?

Dean: We do good.

Tori: Let’s wait

Dean: Let’s go

[repeat endlessly]

Nothing suspicious about a bright light in the
middle of the desert where human trafficking occurs

Tori immediately forgets she is an observer

Factory of Paranormal (2017)

Carrie decides to do a paranormal investigation at an abandoned factory.  She plans on filming everything and convinces her friend  Vanessa to go with her. Vanessa doesn’t believe they’ll find anything. They drive separately to the old factory so if there is a problem, each can get away on their own.  So they’re going to abandon each other if something goes wrong?

The factory has a barbed wire fence around it to keep people out. Carrie says she’s heard there is a hole in the fence and plans to ignore the warnings to keep out. Vanessa doesn’t want to go past the fence or break into the building because they could get in trouble. 

When Carrie sees someone she thinks is security, they freak out, hide   behind a bush and then run away.  When they come back, they see a black sheet on the ground near the fence and freak out.  A real estate agent walks up and says they should leave because it’s dangerous. They take an attitude with him and after he leaves, they freak out.

A large amount of time is spent talking about how creepy real estate agent Kyle was. But the problem is he wasn’t creepy at all.  He calmly told them to leave and they copped an attitude and told him they knew something was going on and they were going to figure out what it was.  They are obsessed with Kyle.

Their frontal lobes don’t seem to be functioning since they can’t do basic reasoning or understand the simplest things. Security guard at an abandoned building? There’s no reason to have them.  Real estate agent tells you an abandoned building is dangerous? That’s suspicious because he didn’t tell you why it was dangerous. Agent asks them to leave private property? He must be hiding something. Black sheet on the ground? Nothing like that has ever been seen before.

Even after they get past the fence, they’re still  idiots.  As they walk along the length of the building, they see someone far behind coming towards them. They run, turn the corner of the building and duck down. Vanessa says they should hide, but Carrie has no sense of self preservation and stays right around the corner.  If someone is walking towards them, he’s going to have to stop quick once he tries to round the corner.  

  

In their minds, everything points to something weird going on being hidden from them. Carrie wants to film her documentary and tell the world what it is - even though Carrie can’t even comprehend simple things and has never made a documentary. Holy crap, Carrie is useless.

The dialogue is ridiculously repetitive. Don’t do a drinking game or you’ll die of alcohol poisoning.  They repeat the word creepy so many times that after 35 minutes, I started counting the number of times they said it.  The movie is 72 minute long and in the last 37 minutes they said the word creepy 32 times. .

Most of the last half of the movie is clips from the movie.  To what end? We’ve already seen the footage and it adds nothing new.  It seems to solely be due to padding out a short film to the length of a movie.  Some of the footage is seen more than two times. Also none of it is that complex or deep enough to need to be seen again. 

If you’re hoping for paranormal events, it’s almost non-existent. There are two short scenes towards the end of the movie. Other than that, it’s just two teenage girls talking about how everything is creepy and being flummoxed by simple concepts. The scenes of them obsessing about why Kyle would tell them it’s dangerous but not explain what is dangerous is brain numbing.  If someone told them molten lead was dangerous, would they think it was suspicious because they weren’t told why it was dangerous?

Some of the footage looked like it was shot through a screen door.  Also since they were shooting outside in the wind, there are scenes where the dialogue is unintelligible and all you can hear is the wind.

Ridiculous dialogue

Why would an abandoned factory have a security guard though? It makes no sense.

Carrie: We just walked across something really creepy. This is like, I don’t know, a black sheet or something? Where…

Vanessa: I’ve never seen anything like that.

Carrie: … did this come from? It’s really creepy. I don’t know why it’s laying here. What’s it doing.

There’s this creepy black sheet. So…what’s that all about.

Kyle: You guys need to get your stuff and head on out of here.

Carrie:  There was definitely something here. Something creepy is going on [scoff] and I’m going to get to the bottom of it.

Why don’t you see it from my perspective.  That guy is creepy. He wants us to leave suddenly. He’s like, it’s dangerous in there. Like, what does that even mean? What’s so dangerous inside?

There’s something really weird about a him and that fact he’s saying it’s dangerous, but wouldn't say why? Like why would you even say that if you’re not going to explain yourself.

The way he was saying it’s so dangerous and not explaining why? It was so creepy.

There’s definitely more that’s going on. I don’t think it’s paranormal. it’s something creepy on another scale is happening and it has to do with that guy

We have to do our duty to film something.

How did I hear something and then all of the sudden the sheet appeared out of nowhere.

Vanessa: Are you serious? I never agreed to do that. We’re not breaking the law for a paranormal investigation.

Carrie: On my god, calm down. How are we even going to get in trouble?

Our two intrepid investigators 

The creepy black sheet. Oooo isn’t it scary kids?

Lots of shots like this

Waiting around the corner to see if someone is following them

it looks like it was shot through a screen door

Leprechaun: The Beginning (2025)

After their father dies, estranged sisters Mary and Judy head to his estate.  Judy and husband Colin want to sell the house so they can get the money. While Mary, husband Dave and their three daughters - Faith, Sky and Lisa -  are more interested in keeping the home in the family.

Mary doesn’t want to sell because she wants the house to go to the girls. Judy says she needs the money because she’s pregnant.  You’d think Mary would question this since both sisters appear to be post menopause. 

Their father used to talk about leprechauns and there are multiple books about them in the house. The girls decide to look for the treasure and sure enough, one of them finds a box full of gold in the house.  

Everyone celebrates their new riches and then things get weird.  Judy and Dave argue about who owns the gold.  Dave thinks that finding the gold constitutes ownership, even though it would be part of the estate.  Mary doesn’t think they should do anything with the gold since they don’t know where it came from. 

When Sky disappears, Mary and Dave get mad at their other children because she is their responsibility. What?  Is Sky mentally challenged? She told them she was sleeping in their parents room so how would they know she disappeared? The mentally deficient argument is closed when Dave insists she’s a smart kid and will be fine. So again we’re back to why are the other children expected to be responsible for her? Also I’d argue she’s not the brightest bulb since she did manage to crawl into a cage without knowing it.

This is a hard one to sit through. There’s not much of a plot and the acting is not good. Are the daughters supposed to be teens or adults? Based on how old they look, I thought they were adults, but that runs counter to the assertation they are responsible for their sister.  The books on leprechauns were obviously pasted together for the film.  Lisa’s accent is different from the rest of the family.  Dave has no energy and his angry voice sounds the same as when he’s not angry, except he talks louder.  The cell phones stop working when it’s necessary for the plot.

The leprechaun is more odd looking than scary. There is one scene where the make up is worn off or fell off his face near his mouth. In a scene near the beginning, he forgot to wear his gloves and his hands have no make up.  He also plans the recorder upside down so no way is anything coming out of that instrument. 

Ridiculous dialogue

Lisa: You broke it. It won’t switch on.

Faith: No, you dropped it. Just put it in rice or something.

Dave: I will not let you get your grubby hands on [the gold] Judy, not after everything you’ve done.

Cut to Judy and Colin

Judy: We absolutely must get our hands on that gold, if it’s the last thing we do.

Leprechaun: What has an eye but can not see?

Colin: I, I, I don’t know. A potato.

Leprechaun: A potato. Really Colin?

Colin: What?

Leprechaun: You just might be the worst playmate I’ve ever come across. It’s a needle, you fool.

They forgot to put makeup on his hands

One of the large font leprechaun books

Shouting Sky to a closed window won’t help
if Sky is actually outside

The ineffective search for Sky continues

No one questions when she says she’s pregnant

Playing the recorder upside down

Did they not notice the make up is worn off his neck?