Friday, October 15, 2010

The 7 Adventures of Sinbad (2010)

Oh good god! It's another Asylum movie. In this modern day sorta-remake of the Sinbad movies, billionaire oil man Adrian Sinbad responds to a call of Somalian pirates demanding money after taking one of his oil rigs hostage. Before Sinbad can get there, a giant squid pulls the rig and pirates under the ocean.

After his helicopter is struck by lightening and crashes into the sea, Sinbad wakes up unharmed on an island and discovers a giant crab which he empties his gun into while screaming "Crab!.... Big crab!"

After rounding up other survivors from the squid attack and copter crash, they meet a cavewoman who shows him heiroglyphics depicting the end of the world unless a man who appears to be Sinbad completes seven tasks.

Then they find out the island is actually on the tail of a whale when the whale decides to dive underwater. Pterodactyls grab the group from the ocean and deposit them on another island where they run into cyclops, a village cult leader, a volcano, and some other lame stuff that makes up seven adventures.

While this is going on millions of gallons of oil are spilling into the ocean ,(oddly enough this was before the BP spill.) Eventually Sinbad heads down into the ocean in a little sub while his evil business partner hopes for Sinbad's death so he can take over the company. It's all very pedestrian and not all that entertaining.

The most confusing part of this movie is the whale island. The cavewoman had been living on this island since a child. The island/tail has trees, sand, and a cave w/ancient hieroglyphics (that appear to be in crayon). So... if the whale has been lying there for so many years that cavemen drew in the caves, why did it suddenly decide to move?

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