Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Bleed (2002)

After a first date where she stays overnight with her new boss Shawn, (red flag), Maddy agrees to accompany Shawn to a pool party so she can meet his friends.

Shawns friends turn out to be total dillholes.  Chris steals Maddy's bikini top and refuses to give it back until she shows her bazooms.  Then Shawn's ex Tilly flirts with him, parades  around topless, talks a lot about how they used to date, and kisses him right in front of Maddy.  Needless to say, Maddy is not amused.

But except for an outburst of anger, she can't mind all that much since she doesn't leave the party.  And when Chris comes over to apologize, Maddy giggles and forgives him (red flag).

Later everyone piles into the hot tub and one of Shawn's friends lets slip that they have a secret. It's called the Murder Club.  In order to be in it, you start by shoplifting, then you move on to armed robbery, and finally escalate to murder. What sort of idiot tells a stranger that they murder people?

Now if I'm on a second date, and my date and his friends unemotionally tell me they kill people for fun, my mind is racing trying to figure out how the hell to extricate myself from this situation without getting killed.  But not Maddy, she's not sure if it's a joke or not, but she's intrigued (red flag).

A day or so later, Maddy is in a parking garage when a woman dents her car.  After the lady is rude to her, Maddy goes nutso and repeatedly bangs her head against a cement column.  Unfortunately for Maddy, she's picked the only woman in the world with a skull like a grape, and it bursts in a torrent of blood. Oh yay, now Maddy can be in the Murder Club!

And it just gets stupider from there. Turns out Murder Club was a joke.  When Shawn tells the gang what Maddy's done, they try to figure out what to do.  The options they consider are: a) notify the police; b) pretend they don't know about it; or c) provide an alibi and protect Maddy.

Shawns opting for the third as he says Maddy is their friend too - which she isn't, they've only met once.  Others argue that if they go to the police, they will be implicated and are just as guilty because they pressured her to join the club. Huh? I don't remember that. And even if they did, so what?  She's responsible for her own decisions and actions.  Also if she wanted to be in the club, then why not start at shoplifting?  Why start with murder? Argh, stupid people!  They all deserve to die.

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