Thursday, January 31, 2013

Evil Things (2009)

The problem with most point of view/found footage movies is that it's like watching someones home movies. In other words, it's only interesting and/or funny to those involved or possibly their loved ones. Do I really want to watch a bunch of strangers sit around, crack lame jokes, and act stupid?  Nope, not really.

So here is another in the long line of found footage movies where one character wants to be a director and he shoots everything they do, to the annoyance of his friends.  He even shoots when they are trying to get through harrowing events, and he's got the best battery ever because it never dies.

A group of college students head out to an isolated home owned by one's Aunt.  On the way there, a van with tinted windows seems to be stalking them. It shows up everywhere they go, and even follows them on the road.  Definitely creepy and alarming, but eventually they turn and the van goes straight by.

The next day, the group decides to walk through the woods and gets lost.  No one shall ask why they didn't just retrace their footprints in the snow.  They spend the entire day in the woods bickering and screaming at each other.  Then they start to hear strange noises which they insist can't be animals.

Now I don't know if you've ever lived or stayed in rural areas, but I've heard some ungodly noises coming from the woods in the middle of the night.  That's because animals make some really messed up sounds that would make you run screaming for the hills if you thought your house was haunted.  Then  a little cute fox would trot out in the backyard and you'd realize the noises were from him.

Finally after wandering around for hours in the dark, they see the lights of the house beckoning and are happy once again. Um, does no one think this is odd?  They left mid morning and now the house is all lit up like a Christmas tree. You people are stupid

Later there is a loud banging on the front door and the gang finds a package on the porch.  It turns out to be a VHS tape. Yes that's right, a VHS tape.  I was hoping that this plot point would be derailed when the house didn't have a VCR, and we would watch the kids shrug and throw out the tape.  But   luck was not on my side. When they pop in the tape, they find it contains footage of them shot by the mystery person in the van. Super creepy!

The group starts to fray around the edges as there are disagreements as to what to do and how to keep safe.  One tip I would give is that if your cell phones don't work and you miraculously get a signal so you can dial 911, don't let the hysterical babbling girl make the call.

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