Saturday, July 21, 2018

Lake Alice (2017)

Ryan and Sarah join her parents at their cabin for Christmas.  Sarah is super happy when Ryan proposes, but her father is concerned because they've only been dating for a year and believes Ryan will not be able to support her since he is trying to become a filmmaker.

To make things more awkward, Sarah's ex-boyfriend and his mother stop by with a Christmas gift which turns out to be a framed photo of him  and Sarah with their mothers. Nothing weird about that.

For more than half the movie, nothing much happens. Then late  one night knocking is heard in the middle of the night and the family is attacked when they try to investigate.  This is where the film goes totally sideways.  Characters make the worst decisions they could possibly make.  Ryan insists that they go outside to make a run for it even though the killer is outside. Once outside, they all head in different directions and do not seem to grasp the concept of how to remain hidden or stay quiet.

Need tips to remain safe from killers at night in an isolated home or woods? Don't go outside. Just don't.  Stop shouting angrily because your cell phone doesn't work. Don't use flashlights in the dark because it makes it obvious where you're hiding. Don't talk loudly if you find someone you know.  Don't yell to cars on the road when you're deep in the woods.  If a truck drives into a snow bank, see if you can drive it away from there rather than running away from you only possible means of transport.

It was so frustrating to watch Ryan sneak into the basement whispering Sarah's name when he's shining a flashlight around. If the killer is there, the light is a beacon in the darkness, you idiot.

The twist ending is predictable as well as who is in the mask when Sarah sneaks up on him. It's nothing that hasn't been done before.  It's a small town, there's a big snow storm and there are only so many characters. As people start to die, you'll be able to narrow it down. 

One of the most awkward scenes was watching Sarah's ex play a really crappy gig.  It would be stupid if it weren't exactly like so many bad gigs I've sat through.  It's not a club so there's no stage.  The bar just puts a stool and microphone on the floor as a designated area for the person to play. And the bar patrons politely applaud but mostly ignore him and wait for him to stop.  He was so close to the pool table that if someone was playing pool, they would have hit him in the face when they drew back their cue.

Also don't invite someone to your house multiple times if you don't want them to show up. Sarah's mom invites Carl, the snowplow driver, to the house. While he politely say he doesn't want to intrude, she doubles down and tells him it's no trouble and he should really stop by.  So he does and they ask what he wants and shut the door in his face. Holy crap, that alone made me hate them.

If for some unknown reason you feel obligated to invite him and he turns you down, let it drop. Don't keep asking him to stop by.  That makes you a total asshole. Yeah the guys weird  and you don't want him in your house - which is exactly why you don't invite him in the first place.  So now you've extended an invite and retracted it by shutting the door in his face. Don't humiliate the guy. He would have been fine not going to your stupid house.

It also drove me nuts that Sarah invited her ex to come visit her and her fiancé in California. You don't do that. You don't invite your ex to visit unless your fiancé is okay with that, and you check with him first.

When I got done with the DVD, I noticed there was an option that said Bonus.  I was hoping that the bonus would be that when I clicked that option the DVD would be spit out of the player in a million pieces.  But it was not to be.


"Slow down! I can't run!"  - the worst thing to say when running away from someone trying to kill you.

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