The Poltergeist of Borley Forest (2013)

Paige is supposed to meet her friend at a party in Borley Forest but when her friend doesn’t show up, she decides to leave.  As she’s wandering around looking for a ride home, she touches a rope in a tree and gets a chill. Aw damn, you’ve touched the ghost rope. Now you’re going to be stalked by a ghost.

Paige’s parents are mad she’s out late and at a party. They also get mad when someone leaves flowers at the door for Paige, or when her friend goes into a catatonic state after spending the night at the house while they’re away.  Then they get mad at Tommy because he didn’t protect Paige, who is absolutely fine.  Basically, they’re always mad.

With no idea why a ghost is stalking her, Paige decides to try to figure out who it is and what it wants.  After some research and a visit to an abandoned house where she finds a dust free diary sitting by itself in a dust free closet, Paige thinks she knows whose spirit is after her and plans to go back to the woods to end this.  Gah! Stupid movie!

Of all the nonsensical things that happen in this movie two stand out. First, Tommy and Cooper are able to retrieve the missing frames from the surveillance footage of the flowers being left on the doorstop.  Everyone is stunned, except the viewer because we never see the footage and are never told what it is.  Second, when Cooper dies, Tommy says the cops will think Paige had something to do with it.  Then we find out Cooper died in a car accident. So how… why… what… good god movie, did you leave out something relevant or have you completely gone off the rails?

Ridiculous dialogue:

Now we’re going to have to come home early and clean up another one of your irresponsible messes.  Why’d I even think you could protect this country if you can’t even protect your sister.

Paige - Leave me alone!

Ghost - No.

Paige - Why? You think I like you?

They’re never going to believe any of this. They’re going to think Paige had something go do with Coopers death. She might get committed. Hell, we all might.

The missing frames in the surveillance video are so surprising
we can’t let the audience in on the horror.

Abandoned houses usually have lone diaries in dust free closets

Why did they sit around in the house reading the diary
if they were just going to take it with them?

No! Don’t put your bed kitty corner! It’s not
aesthetically pleasing and takes up too much space.

The way to Borley Forest is across someone’s field?

Paige sits down to an already half eaten breakfast.