Saturday, December 28, 2024

Santa Isn’t Real (2023)

A year after being attacked by Santa and left for dead, Nicki comes out of a coma to discover everyone thinks she tried to take her own life. Her boyfriend Nate and best friend Jess visit her in the hospital, but it’s obvious to everyone but Nicki something is going on between them.

The newly awakened Nicki decides she’s sick of the hospital and against the doctors advice, she goes home. She needs crutches for balance and is warned to stay on her meds.  

She must not have a good relationship with her family since she goes away for Christmas with her friends.  Nicki, Nate and Jess drive to a cabin where MJ has already arrived. When Nicki tries to set the record straight that Santa came down the chimney to kill her, no one believes her. You’d think they would give her the benefit of the doubt that it was a criminal in a Santa suit, but nope they think she did it to herself.

Nate and Jess are caught in bed by Nicki and everything starts going off the rails.  Not only is Nicki angry, but the killer Santa shows up.  Nicki disappears but no one is looking for her. MJ drives off in the car her friends drove up in to try to get help. Wait, she doesn’t have a car? How did she get there?

The movie is often dark and hard to see. Nate has no emotional range. He can’t even crawl convincingly. Santa’s voice is altered to the point I couldn’t understand him and to make it worse, he just drones on and on. He doesn’t need a knife because he could kill you with boredom.  That being said, even though it’s  below average, it’s still better than the majority of Christmas horror movies I saw this year. 

There’s a scene with a landline that feels like it was written by someone who has only used a landline in a hospital or corporation. When one of the kids asks how to use it, the other says dial 9. That is not normal when in a home. The 9 is used to get an outside line rather than an internal number and a house would not keep any calls inside the house

Some shots are so dark you can’t see what is going on
This is the most emotion Nick can muster


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