Dinosaur Hotel 2 (2022)

Apparently this underground show of people trying to survive against dinosaurs has now been going on for years. Ratings are slipping so they decide to bring back all the previous winners to compete for a multi million dollar prize.  When one of the winners chooses not to participate, her children disappear and she is told competing is mandatory or the kids will pay.

As usual in this type of competition, there are those who want to work together and those who sabotage others by bringing about their demise. Most of the contestants are unlikeable.

This is a hard watch and the child actors are wooden as hell.

Nazi Zombie (2025)

A group of teenagers decide to do the power of the dead ritual. They need to go to a haunted house and if they do the ritual correctly, it will manifest any wish they have. When one of the girls wishes she’d get her ex boyfriend back and then disappears with him, the other girls get sick of waiting around. She was their ride home, but they  realize classmate Connie lives nearby. So they start walking there, even though all but one girl think she’s a weirdo.

It turns out Connie is a foster child who has only lived there a few months and feels like she’s the families maid.  Most of the girls don’t care.  Then zombies show up and they have to figure out how to survive.

With Connie, the group has enough people to do the ritual to stop them and each goes off to look for the required items they need. the girl who needs to get onion skin puts them all in danger when it turns out she doesn’t even know what an onion looks like. She’s picking up random stuff in the fridge and trying to figure out if any of it is an onion.

Another person is searching for the tears of a fur. What is that you ask? Well they figure out that fur means theif in Latin so they force Connie to cry and catch her tears in a chalice.  Thankfully these are the slowest moving zombies ever since they can’t even get across a room in several minutes.

Ugh, avoid this one. 

Ridiculous dialogue

We’re going to be tapping into ancient witchcraft tonight to bend peoples wills to our desires.

Just a typical 30 year old high school student

Low budget boxes

They do not like Connie

Sad looking zombies taking an hour to cross a room

Tears of a fur i.e. theif

The Cigarette (2024)

If you’re looking for a movie about an unlikeable character with no redeeming qualities who learns nothing on their journey, then this is the movie for you. Jasmin is a self absorbed, manipulative, liar who is always the victim:

1. She’s mad at the bank because she has a negative balance
2. She’s mad at her boyfriend for breaking up with her because she spends his money but doesn’t work or pay any bills
3. She’s mad at her dad because he rented her old room and won’t kick out the paying tenant
4. She’s mad at her friend who she hasn’t seen in ages because she won’t give her a job or free drinks

While her Sarah refuses to give her a job or expensive drinks for free, she does agree to let Jasmin stay at her apartment. Jasmin repays her by stealing drinks when she’s not looking.  

As she drunkenly sits at a table and rudely screams for another drink, she’s approached by a man who offers her a job marketing cigarettes.  All she has to do is pretend to smoke on the street, at bars, and outside schools.  She’ll get between $500 and $10,000 for every person she can get to smoke.  But she must never smoke them herself and has to immediately get away from the person once she hands them a cigarette. They’ll pay her through an app called Cash for Cigarettes. Every single thing he’s said is questionable, but Jasmin is all in.

Jasmin is approached regularly for cigarettes and starts making money.  When anyone smokes one of her cigarettes, they go crazy and start murdering people.  After the police pinpoint Jasmin as the distributor of the lethal cigarettes, she denies she’s done anything wrong.  Sigh.

To make Jasmin even less likeable, she lets her roommates cat out, but instead of trying to get it back in, she says she doesn’t have time for this and leaves. She literally does nothing but give away cigarettes and has no scheduled time for work. When her friend asks where her cat is, Jasmin says she doesn’t know and to check under the couch. Every step of the way she just gets worse.

After I watched this, I was surprised to find out it was supposed to be a horror comedy. Usually humor is obvious even if it’s not done well. Was it supposed to be funny when she stole drinks from her bartender friend? Maybe if Jasmin had some charm or redeeming characteristics, but the character is so unlikeable you can’t root for her.

This is a super low budget movie with some painful acting.  At the end of the movie there is a screen that mentions there is no blasphemy in the movie, but they misspell it.

Ridiculous dialogue

I have a new sugar daddy and he’s your daddy.

911 operator: We need your cell phone to make sure this isn’t a false emergency.

The first attack

Plates of food just sitting in the fridge without any cling wrap?
Jazmin is an animal.

The app can disappear on it’s own, but can’t put text horizontal

The bank 

Jasmin is always irritated with everyone

The kid who doesn’t notice his classmates being killed
or a knife being stuck in his skull

Why is there a phone in the bathroom next to the toilet

Blasphemy is misspelled

Dawn of the Crescent Moon (2014)

A couple investigating the legend of Blood Lake stop at a local bar and ask the bartender what he knows about it.  He tells them a story about a group of college kids who disappeared at the lake. Most of the movie after this is a flashback.

The kids are doing an assignment where they need to investigate a legend and track down its origin story. The professor wants them to go CSI on the legend’s ass and determine how close the legend is to the what happened. They should not rely on the internet and need to interview people.

So our intrepid group of students get in a van and travel to the area to ask around.  It’s not clear if they’ve done any research in advance, but they end up at the same bar the couple at the beginning were in.  The bartender tells them to go home, and they plan to leave town without ever talking to anyone else.  But his daughter offers to take them to the lake to go camping.

How convenient that while around the campfire, one of the guys who  has been bullying people shares a monologue about how he ended up a bully. Then everyone else shares their trauma. What are the odds that everyone in the group would have a dead parent or sibling, and massive childhood trauma?

Things do not go well for the students, which we already know based on how the bartender introduced the story.  The legend of the lake is that there is treasure buried in it and people die when trying to retrieve it. Just stop looking for the treasure and you’ll be fine.

Ridiculous dialogue 

Michael: These people… they’ve been reported missing.

Nick: Missing?

Laney: What do you mean by missing?

The Haunting at Jack the Rippers House (2025)

The Haunt Hunters have a YouTube channel where they investigate paranormal activity. Tired of being accused of faking their discoveries, they decided to go Jack the Ripper’s house to film.  No one has been allowed in to investigate, but they offered the owner “something he couldn’t afford to refuse.” 

The two founders of the group have different feelings about this case. Richard warns them it’s too dangerous and something bad will happen. Jake says it’s already booked and if Richard doesn’t like it he can leave. The two already have issues because Richard wants to have integrity and do real investigations, but Jake wants to fake paranormal activity to make more money on the channel.

Even though this investigation is supposed to be real, a couple of the crew go in to set up some fake paranormal stuff. They don’t really trust Jake, but are still willing to go along with it.  Then the group goes inside and spends the night drinking and hanging out. Why? They could have done that anywhere.

Eventually they go off to investigate, but things don’t go as they’d planned since the place really is haunted.  This is low budget and not that entertaining.

Murder Death Koreatown (2020)

When a murder occurs in the building next door, a man becomes obsessed with figuring out what really happened. He starts shooting video of the outside of the apartment complex and tries get someone to let him through the gate.  He attempts to interview people who live in the building, but makes them uncomfortable and is asked to stay away. He does not.

His girlfriend is irritated because he’s spending all his spare time thinking about the murder when he should be trying to find a job.  He has no sense of boundaries and accuses people of being involved. He asks the manager to let him into the murder scene, and is aggravated when they say they’ll call the police if he doesn’t stop. 

It just keeps getting weirder and he keeps getting more obsessive. He interprets everything through his own conspiracy theory and discounts anything that doesn’t fit. Everything is a sign specifically for him to keep going.

It was interesting but the ending was unsatisfactory.  If you have motion sickness, some of the footage is nauseating. The thing that is most uncomfortable is this is based on a real murder.

Rip Van Winkle 3 (2023)

Judith is back again and as before, another woman creepily seduces her, and everyone finds her attractive. What the hell. Also everyone is open to strangers being far too intimate and nosy. It’s the kind of thing that’d get you punched in the face.

There is a ton of padding in this movie, starting with the first ten minutes which are flash backs to the prior movie. At one point a pizza delivery is one week late and they still eat the pizza. Ew. 

the cgi sign by the road

Still using the bureau for the front desk may be
even odder than her costume

Rip Van Winkle 2 (2023)

Judith is back, along with the ghost of Henry Hudson, and they are no more interesting than they were before.  Judith complains about how the bodies of the murdered guests are starting to smell so she has to move them somewhere else. 

A mobster shows up and tells Judith she needs to pay protection money. She has no idea what he’s talking about.

A homeless girl sees an ad for room and board in exchange for handyman services at the hotel. No experience is needed, which seems like a bad idea for handyman.  Judith says she didn’t place the ad, but figures she’ll hire her anyway. That doesn’t seem like a smart thing to do. 

Just like the first movie, we have another woman who is creepily sexually harassing Judith to try to sleep with her. The credits include an entry for “additional comedic material.”  But it’s more office co-worker funny than actually funny.

using forced perspective to try to make it seem like
she’s hitting him

Rip Van Winkle (2022)

Judith inherits her great grandfathers hotel, which is a surprise since she didn’t even know he existed. When she arrives, no one is there. She’s wary about how abandoned it seems. So she does what anyone would do. She gets nude and jumps in the pool. 

You’d think Judith would have already worked with a lawyer regarding the inheritance. But why hire a lawyer, when you have a caretaker? After pulling out the deed, the caretaker asks her to sign it. Then Judith wanders around looking at her new property.

When someone arrives and asks for a room, instead of saying they aren’t open, Judith has her sign the registry and gives her a key. Within hours, a number of people are staying at the hotel. All of them are obnoxious. When one person asks if there is room service, Judith replies, “I don’t know.” Come on! You’re the only one working there.

At 42 minutes in, there is still no mention of Rip Van Winkle. Nothing substantial happens until 60 minutes. Most of the movie is people thinking Judith is attractive, bad skits, and at one point there’s a band playing in the bar.  Oh and the guests are getting murdered, but you won’t mind since you’ll hate them all.

Judith is an odd one. She walks up to the hotel carrying only a backpack. She has no knowledge of the hotel itself, or any experience in hotel management. Instead of telling customers the hotel is closed so she can figure out the hotel and its amenities, she starts signing people in even though she has no computer and no way to charge the guests.  

Oh you think you’re going to see a killer Rip Van Winkle at some point?  No, it’s just the ghost of Henry Hudson who speaks telepathically, mouth agape, eyes almost crossed staring out into the void. He returns to the land every twenty years and sits in the bar.  

The acting is pretty rough. One of the hotel rooms has a sink in the bedroom right next to the door to the hallway. Judith is the only employee, so how’d the band get set up and playing if she was unaware they were there?

Ridiculous dialogue 

Hi, wine distributor?

The plumbing is as old as my mother around here, believe me.

Judith interacting with the caretaker

The check-in counter in the lobby is a bureau

Why is the sink in the hotel bedroom?

The ghost of Henry Hudson enjoys a beer

I Know What You Did Last Christmas (2025)

A group of friends who no longer talk receive invitations for a reunion.  After they all arrive, they discover none of them know who sent the invitations.  It’s also revealed they had a falling out due to some horrible secret that resulted in a death of one of the group. 

They talk in vague terms about the incident and wonders if that is why they’re here.  One woman questions if everyone attended due to fear of blackmail, but the others maintain they did nothing wrong. Even lying to the police is couched as necessary since otherwise the incident would ruin their lives. 

The incident turns out to be Trey and Nico locking Millie out of the house in a snowstorm and then closing the drapes as she bangs on the sliding door.  She couldn’t get into the house and died. So their excuses it was just bad luck, or they didn’t do anything fall flat at this point.

There are many confusing things in this film.  Why did they lock her out? If it was a prank, then why didn’t they let her in later? Why do they think they did nothing wrong? Did everyone know she was locked out? Why don’t they leave the reunion when they discover no one knows who set it up?  Why do some of the women not recognize Sam when he looks exactly the same as when they last saw him?  Why do they say Cassie hasn't spoken to Nico in three years when the incident took place last year?  And why is the person in the Santa suit doing this?  The motivation for the prank is never clear.

Christmas Bloody Christmas (2022)

Tori owns a records store and plans to meet up with a guy on a dating app. But her employee Robbie, who wants to hook up with her, convinces her to go to the bar with him. On the way, they stop at a toy store to give some whiskey to a friend who is planning to entertain her boyfriend there on Christmas Eve. Then Tori and Robbie continue on to the bar.

The toy store has a lifesize robotic Santa. It’s a military grade robot that was converted to Santa and marketed as a way to keep children safe from degenerate local Santas. But there is a problem with the conversion and Santa is now acting on its own and the mission is extermination. 

After dispatching the couple in the toy store, Santa walks out on the street and sees Tori and Robbie drive off. He follows them and the carnage starts next door to them. Santa is like a terminator in that it never stops when going after its target.

With dead bodies piling up, the police aren’t happy. But it’s a small town, they all know each other, and they don’t believe Tori killed people. But they also don’t believe her story about a killer Santa.

This is okay, but nothing I’d ever watch again. It’s much better than most of the Christmas horror I watched this month.  The characters aren’t that likable so you aren’t invested in rooting for them.  The most annoying part is Tori is one of those characters who avoids telling people what is going on. If you’re screaming at someone and they don’t know what you mean, maybe tell them there is a killer behind them. That is something they should understand.

Terrifier 3 (2024)

I haven’t seen the first two movies and there was only a brief flashback so I may be missing important details because I have no background in what occurred before.  Sienna, previously a victim of Art the clown, is out of the psych ward and goes to stay with her aunt, uncle and cousin Gabbie, who follows her around like a puppy dog and wants to know everything about her. 

Sienna’s brother Jonathan is at college in the dorms, where his roommate is hooking up with Mia, who hosts a true crime podcast.  Mia is positively giddy to meet him and has so many questions about his trauma. She repeatedly tries to convince him to be on her show since it will give her clout. She’s too self absorbed to realize how insensitive she’s being.

Meanwhile Sienna is seeing things that aren’t there and thought she saw Art in town.Nobody believes her, not even Jonathan who just wants to move on. But Art actually is on the loose and he’s killing people all over the place.

After spending this month watching low budget Christmas horror, it’s nice to watch a movie with a big budget.  That being said, the movie just kind of rambles along. For most of the movie, Art and Sienna’s stories do not overlap.  Art’s off killing people he meets and Sienna is wondering if he’s really out there or it’s just her fears. A lot of the kills are in the torture realm, which I don’t enjoy. 

The Mean One (2022)

On Christmas Eve in Newville, Cindy goes downstairs and finds the Grinch dressed as Santa Claus. She gives him her necklace. Then her mom walks in, screams and attacks Santa Grinch.  When her mom dies in the fight, Cindy screams Santa is a monster.

Twenty years later, Cindy and her dad drive back to town to put the house on the market. Cindy’s therapist thinks it will help her get closure. They are pulled over by a new deputy, who tells them they can’t have Christmas decorations on their car as it’s a distraction. 

When Cindy and her dad look for some decorations, they discover there aren’t any decorations in the entire town. The Sheriff says no one takes Christmas seriously. Cindy and her dad have some decorations with them so they decorate the house. Immediately they are attacked by Santa Grinch and Cindy advances to orphan status..

No one believed her story of a green Santa as a child and they don’t believe her now. The nurse says it’s grief bordering on psychosis. But Cindy knows what she saw.

When Cindy goes up on a mountain to take some photos, she sees Santa attacking some hikers, reels backwards and falls into a cave. There she finds the wallet of a hiker who disappeared.  Now she and the deputy attempt to solve the mystery of what is really going on in town, and whether the Mayor is covering it up.

I expected more from this. It’s a good concept but not funny, or scary. The Grinch make up is decent though.

It Cuts Deep (2020)

Sam is bringing girlfriend Ashley to his childhood home for the holidays.  Ashley is interested in marriage, but Sam avoids the subject by making immature jokes and interrupting her.

While in town they run into Nolan, who says he was Sam’s best friend.  Ashley is confused since Sam’s never mentioned him.  Later they run into Nolan and his wife, and he says they should get together some time. 

But Sam does not want to see Nolan. Every time Nolan shows up at the house or they run into him, Sam’s paranoia increases. He thinks Nolan is following him and that Ashley likes him. Ashley tells Sam he’s overreacting since they used to be friends. Plus it’s a small town so it doesn’t seem weird.

Nolan mentions something terrible happened when they were teenagers, but Sam tells him to shut up and refuses to talk to Ashley about it.  A flashback shows two teenagers killed by a machete.  Nolan mentions his sister died tragically and there is an allusion that it may have been at Nolan’s hands. 

As the movie goes on, you’ll start to wonder if Sam is an unreliable narrator or Nolan is a cad and a killer. You’ll also wonder why Ashley is dating Sam. He seems to have no redeemable qualities, ignores her feelings, is immature and is a terrible cook - which is fine other than he refuses to admit the food is garbage.

Slay Ride (2024)

Holly stops at a convenience store on the way home from work on Christmas Eve. The clerk is listening to a news alert about a killer dressed as Santa who strikes convenience stores. The news warns the public not to walk alone in any convenience store parking lots.  

After being rude to the clerk, Holly walks out to her car and neglects to check the back seat.  Surprise, it’s killer Santa!  After a fight, Santa falls out of the car and Holly goes to the police station.

After being rude to the police, Holly wants to go home. The detective informs her Santa has killed eleven women in eleven days and each of them was having an affair. Holly avoids answering his question about if she’s having an affair, and continues her rude streak.

When the police tell her the killer used to live in her home, she freaks out. They accompany her back to her house and confirm no one is inside except her family.  Two police are posted outside, in case anything happens.

Shortly after this, the killer appears in her home.  He insists Holly is naughty and must pay for her sins. The last half of the movie is Holly and her family being tied up, getting loose, and Holly fighting the killer. But don’t expect any excitement. It plods along, including a monologue where the killer chews the scenery as he adapts the Night Before Christmas to his childhood trauma when his dad murdered his mom.

I think Holly is supposed to come off as a strong woman, but she comes off as a woman who regularly asks to speak to the manager. I wasn’t sure if it was written that way or the actress chose to play it like that. Later I discovered the actress is also the writer so I guess it was both.

Holly makes bad decision after bad decision, but so do most of the other characters in the film. When her neighbor comes over because he heard gun shots and sees her possibly dead husband on the floor, he scoffs when she says a killer is in the house.  The neighbor accuses her of the violence and offers to lie to the police if she has an affair with him. 

The police officers left to guard her also made some really bad decisions. A lone man tied one cop to the steering wheel and decapitated the other. How did he get the drop on both of them?   Surely one would have noticed there was an issue before both were incapacitated.

The most ridiculous plot hole is the lack of response from the police.  They are aware Holly was attacked by a serial killer who used to live in her home. They station two police outside.  Later at the station, one of the cops tells the detective that ten minutes ago they got a 911 call from her home, but no one was on the line. Did they just hang up? Then they got a call from the neighbors about shots fired, and they can’t get hold of the cops outside the house. Yet it barely registers there may be a problem. They are in no rush to send anyone to check on it.  Even after this scene, there is a long period of time before the police show up. Oh and the Detectives last name is Donner.  Merry Christmas!

Ridiculous dialogue

Detective: This killer only targets people who, women who are having an affair. Is there something I need to know?

Holly: Like what?

Husband: You have to help her!

Detective: Has anybody gone after her?

Policeman:  No, no one has.

You see that? He’s dead. And you never have to be afraid of him ever again. Santa Claus killed him.

It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Murder (2022)

Diana and her friend Riley are into true crime, and also work together at a business Diana started. When her aunt Tippy is found dead at the bottom of the basement stairs, Diana is convinced she was murdered. Tippy was always so careful about holding onto the railing, so there is no way she would have fallen.

When Diana arrives in town, she is suspicious of anyone who might have been around Tippy - the housekeeper, the lawyer, the detective neighbor who was peeking through the hedge, and the ex husband. 

She meets Tippy’s next door neighbor Breanna, who says Tippy was her best friend. She also reconnects with her ex boyfriend Matt, who ends up on the suspect list after he enters the house without asking and is roaming downstairs. 

Diana keeps asking the detective if there are any updates about Tippy's death, even though she’s repeatedly been told they are not looking into it since it was ruled an accident.  But Diana won’t give up. Her passion for true crime and talks with Riley solidify something is wrong with the death.

When she can’t find the Christmas village Tippy used to put out every year, she wonders if someone took it. Later she discovers the houses and figures are worth up to one thousand dollars each, and becomes more convinced Tippy was murdered. Egged on by Riley, Diana gets deeper into investigating and plans to confront the person she thinks murdered Tippy, which isn’t a great idea. If a murderer thinks you’re the only person who knows the killed someone, you’ll likely be murdered too.

This movie showed up on Tubi in a list of Christmas horror movies so I thought it was horror. The logo at the beginning was LMN, which I didn’t realize was Lifetime Movie Network. So that tells you everything you need to know.  It was actually okay and the cliches were pretty amusing.  There were a lot of red herrings about who the murderer was, and Diana fell for all of them.

In the first seven minutes, we are bludgeoned over the head about how Diana has a successful business. Through out the movie this fact is shoved down our throats over and over. And that is the only violence in this film.

Ridiculous dialogue

Diana: She was cleaning the basement floor, like really scrubbing it.

Riley: I don’t know. You’ve got to keep an eye on her, Diana. You know what they say, never underestimate the help.

Diana: Yeah, she seemed angry about something.

Mrs. Hobart: You’re the entrepreneur.

Diana: Oh… no, I just, I own a small company in San Francisco.

The detective neighbor peeking through the hedges

Has anyone ever served ears of corn after a funeral?

Going to check out the noise in the basement after
believing her aunt was murdered in the basement = no survival skills

‘Twas the Night (2023)

A teenage girl whose sister was murdered tracks down the people responsible on Christmas Eve, since this is when they commit their crimes.  Then she tells them some stories her mother used to tell her.  It’s all about getting rid of people who don’t appreciate the true meaning of Christmas. I’m not sure how horror stories would help a child understand the holidays, but okay.

The group of three have a seven year partnership. They work on Christmas Eve because it’s the one night everyone is distracted with gifts and parties.  They say it’s the only night they can move undetected.  I thought they were going to be robbing empty houses. But grabbing kids seems like it would be harder on Christmas Eve because there would be more people in the house.

What bugged me about this movie, besides the acting, was the adults never tried to escape from their teen captor.  They are tied up on the ground but never try to fight back or overpower her as she gets down near them. 

The movie ends with judgement by Krampus as to how people who did not appreciate the holidays will spend eternity.

Gnome Sick: 7 Slays ‘Til Mithras (2025)

After Pete’s agent drops him, he drives home and discovers his family is nowhere to be found. They have a business making homemade wooden Christmas ornaments. This is the first year his father has been behind in filling the orders.

Meanwhile the Santa Slasher is on the loose and killing again. What Pete doesn’t know is his father is the slasher, and the title is handed down through his bloodline.  It’s Pete’s turn to take on that role.

What about the gnomes, you ask?  They are Pete’s family who were  murdered by his father and turned into gnomes which he controls with his mind.

This is a horror comedy, but falls flat on both genres. 

In Fabric (2018)

Sheila discovers her ex husband already has a girlfriend. She feels even more lonely when her son gets a girlfriend who stays over night and gets into her things.  So she decides to respond to some lonely hearts ads in hopes of finding a partner.

After confirming a date, she decides to buy a new dress to make a good impression. The store has some odd sales women dressed in clothing from the 1800s.  Shelia thinks nothing of it when she finds a dress she likes and the saleswoman says the color is artery red.

After a disaster of a date, Sheila discovers she has a rash from the dress. Not only that, but there are strange noises in her wardrobe at night, she is attacked by a dog, and her washing machine is destroyed when trying to wash the dress. Things do not go well for Sheila.

Half way through the movie, the main character switches to Reg. His friends bought the red dress for him to wear at his bachelor party. He also gets a rash from the dress. 

Reg is the most unenthusiastic groom ever. He doesn’t seem fond of his fiance. He works for a repair company and when he speaks of repair issues and their resolutions, people go into a trance. The dress will not do any favors for him or his fiance.

This was listed with the Christmas horror movies on Tubi. It takes place at Christmas time but doesn’t factor into the  plot. It’s an odd but well done movie. That being said, I didn’t get it. Why were the sales clerks all wearing what appeared to be Victorian clothing? Was there something we were supposed to discern from the salesclerk wearing a wig because she’s totally bald? Who was the old weirdo that appeared to be their boss? Why did they limit who could come into the store, even though they advertised on tv and in the paper? Why did people in the store go crazy? Where was she going in the dumbwaiter during the fire and why did she save that mannikin? And why were there weird commercials for the store on tv? Did everyone see them or was it targeted toward those who had already interacted with the dress?

Elf in the Hood (2024)

The movie begins with three people wearing fuzzy balaclavas in the street. Who are they? Why is one being beaten by another?  I’m still not sure who the guy they beat up is, but the other two are Jada and Malik. When they get in the car, there is a weird looking doll in their back seat. They seem surprised.  What is it? Did the guy they were beating put it there? Did they steal it?

Jada and Malik are in debt and facing eviction. So Malik decides they’ll sell the doll, then move and get a fresh start. Jada doesn’t want to leave. But she starts packing her most important stuff, including the fuzzy balaclava.

Cut to what appears to be a huge apartment block in China. Are they supposed to be in China? Where is the hood? What does this have to do with anything?

They visit a woman who is considering purchasing the doll. She tells them they’ll have to wait for her appraiser, who will arrive in a few hours. Then she locks the doll in her safe.   

Malik and Jada are not happy about the wait. They decide to break into the safe but then find the doll on a shelf. How’d it get out? Are there multiple dolls? Wait, now it’s outside driving a car.  

The appraiser says the doll is Juju, created by 17th century slaves to hold angry spirits. If someone’s spirit possesses JuJu then anyone who had anything to do with their death will be in trouble.  If they can survive until Christmas morning, his power will diminish. WHY?? 

This is not great, but I kind of enjoyed it.  There is a practical effect of a foot being cut that looks really good.   The title is misleading because he’s not an elf and we don’t really see the hood. Jada and Malik have a pretty nice apartment and the last half of the movie is in a rich woman’s house.

Ridiculous dialogue 

Snitch! Rats don’t need feet.

Juju is not just a mere doll. He’s a supernatural being capable of defying the physical defines we understand.

Fuzzy balaclavas

Juju sitting in the car

The candles are in front of the actress’s face… keep rolling

That bedroom looks pretty nice for the hood