Saturday, August 16, 2025

Leprechaun: The Beginning (2025)

After their father dies, estranged sisters Mary and Judy head to his estate.  Judy and husband Colin want to sell the house so they can get the money. While Mary, husband Dave and their three daughters - Faith, Sky and Lisa -  are more interested in keeping the home in the family.

Mary doesn’t want to sell because she wants the house to go to the girls. Judy says she needs the money because she’s pregnant.  You’d think Mary would question this since both sisters appear to be post menopause. 

Their father used to talk about leprechauns and there are multiple books about them in the house. The girls decide to look for the treasure and sure enough, one of them finds a box full of gold in the house.  

Everyone celebrates their new riches and then things get weird.  Judy and Dave argue about who owns the gold.  Dave thinks that finding the gold constitutes ownership, even though it would be part of the estate.  Mary doesn’t think they should do anything with the gold since they don’t know where it came from. 

When Sky disappears, Mary and Dave get mad at their other children because she is their responsibility. What?  Is Sky mentally challenged? She told them she was sleeping in their parents room so how would they know she disappeared? The mentally deficient argument is closed when Dave insists she’s a smart kid and will be fine. So again we’re back to why are the other children expected to be responsible for her? Also I’d argue she’s not the brightest bulb since she did manage to crawl into a cage without knowing it.

This is a hard one to sit through. There’s not much of a plot and the acting is not good. Are the daughters supposed to be teens or adults? Based on how old they look, I thought they were adults, but that runs counter to the assertation they are responsible for their sister.  The books on leprechauns were obviously pasted together for the film.  Lisa’s accent is different from the rest of the family.  Dave has no energy and his angry voice sounds the same as when he’s not angry, except he talks louder.  The cell phones stop working when it’s necessary for the plot.

The leprechaun is more odd looking than scary. There is one scene where the make up is worn off or fell off his face near his mouth. In a scene near the beginning, he forgot to wear his gloves and his hands have no make up.  He also plans the recorder upside down so no way is anything coming out of that instrument. 

Ridiculous dialogue

Lisa: You broke it. It won’t switch on.
Faith: No, you dropped it. Just put it in rice or something.

Dave: I will not let you get your grubby hands on [the gold] Judy, not after everything you’ve done.
Cut to Judy and Colin
Judy: We absolutely must get our hands on that gold, if it’s the last thing we do.

Leprechaun: What has an eye but can not see?
Colin: I, I, I don’t know. A potato.
Leprechaun: A potato. Really Colin?
Colin: What?
Leprechaun: You just might be the worst playmate I’ve ever come across. It’s a needle, you fool.

They forgot to put makeup on his hands
One of the large font leprechaun books
Shouting Sky to a closed window won’t help
if Sky is actually outside
The ineffective search for Sky continues
No one questions when she says she’s pregnant
Playing the recorder upside down
Did they not notice the make up is worn off his neck?





Friday, August 15, 2025

Mermaids Curse 2 (2025)

The second installment with a journalist trying to make a living in a town full of mermaids. What ever will they write about? 

Dylan and his brother Connor live in a small apartment while they try to make it as journalists. But there are no local stories so Connor suggests they make one up to bring in new readers. He says they’re not lying, just planting an idea and if people want to believe it, then they can give enough info to support that belief.  

The town has a long history of disappearances, which you think would be an obvious place to start since they don’t even need to make anything up.  Then comes the revelation that their father disappeared when they were kids and all hopes of these two being good investigative reporters fades. 

They interview their mom, who tells them sailors would go out to sea but not everyone would come back. It seems like there should be a bigger focus on this ongoing issue, but apparently the town isn’t that concerned about it.

When Dylan starts dating Serena, Connor is upset. Not only does this take him away from their plans but he’s jealous Dylan has a girlfriend.  After he sees Serena lead a man down to the beach, he tries to blackmail her into breaking up with Dylan and dating him instead. Connor is not only a bad person but he’s a terrible brother.

This is mostly a whole lot of nothing.  There are only a few mermaid attacks and they are lack luster since they consist of a dazed man walking on the beach, a scream and then close ups of a mermaid lazily trying to consume the man on the ground.  And once again, the news in town does not see fit to mention a half consumed man on the beach.

Ridiculous dialogue

Serena: I can’t leave the ocean.
Dylan: But there’s ocean everywhere.

The small apartment
Continuity - Dylans hair is swept back
But at the end of the movie it’s short



Thursday, July 10, 2025

Natty Knocks (2023)

When Wyatt and his friend Robbie decide to ditch school, his little sister Joely overhears them and forces them to take her with them. They steal some copper wire hoping they can sell it so Wyatt can pay his cell phone bill.  Then they decide to play Natty Knocks.

Legend has it Natty was burned as a witch and cursed the town as she died. While that may make you think of the 1600s and the Salem witch trials, this witch burning appears to take place in the 1970s.  Also it’s not clear why they thought Natty was a witch since she was an unsuccessful actress who slept with men for money.

To call Natty, you knock on the door nine times. That seems inconvenient and excessive. When they knock on the door of her abandoned house, no one answers. They peer inside and see a man beating a woman.  Wyatt thinks the man may have killed her so they anonymously call the cops. The cops don’t even log the call.

Wyatt and Joely have a babysitter named Britt, which is odd since Wyatt appears to be almost the same age as Britt. The whole relationship is confusing as she seems to live with them, but I’m not sure why. Did I miss it or did they not explain? The parents are in the midst of a divorce and the father has moved out. Are they paying her or is it a free room and board scenario?

Britt’s boyfriend made a figure of Natty which he keeps in the back of his pickup. He’s going to light it on fire on Halloween. You’d think this is a relevant plot point, but nope.

The most questionable decision is made by Wyatt after Robbie figures out who the killer is and they go to the old house to rescue Britt. As Wyatt walks from room to room, he provides exposition regarding who the killer is and why he’s doing this.  Thus announcing exactly where he is to the very psycho he seeks.

Wednesday, July 9, 2025

Jack in the Box Rises(2024)

In another installment of the Jack in the Box series, Raven needs to get the box to save her father from a bad man. She’s sent to Rosewood Manor, a girls boarding school, where the box is said to be hidden.  

The school only has about six other students and most of them are unlikeable.  One of the girls breaks into her room and discovers information about the box.  Raven is not happy since she doesn’t want anyone else finding the box.  

When the box is open, the demon inside kills six people before it returns. It will grant a wish to the person who freed it. Hurrah!

While this one probably has the best production values, it’s the worst of the three. 


Tuesday, July 8, 2025

Killer Holiday (2013)

 

A group of friends go on a trip in an RV. What they don’t know is that a killer murdered one of the girls parents as they were outside her house and now he’s following them on the road trip.  They head to an old west tourist town and then take a shortcut on backroads. It’s not a great idea to take backroad shortcuts when you’re in an RV. Mostly because you might get stuck. But this group runs into an old guy with a shot gun who tells them to turnaround and get the hell out of there.

The weirdest part is they get mad because he has no right to tell them they can’t drive down the road. So they turn around and drive back.  This time the man is friendly and says he’s glad they took him up on his offer. Surely they can trust the nut with the gun who first threatens and then welcomes them to continue driving.

Further down the road they find an abandoned amusement park and decide to camp there. Nothing creepy about that.  They knock down the fence to get in and I’m thinking maybe they deserve to die.

Ridiculous dialogue

I don’t want to be mean or anything but you’re really not his type.

He doesn’t have the right to stop us from driving. He doesn’t own the road.

Monday, July 7, 2025

Down’s Revenge

High school student Leo likes to bully David, who has Down’s Syndrome.  Kim stops him and then invites David to join her friends for a night of bowling. Apparently there’s only one bowling alley in town because Leo and his friends are there.  Shortly after this David’s grandmother dies and David is left on his own. The only person keeping an eye out for him is his neighbor Sara, who has a crush on him. 

Although David has never done anything bad to anyone, Leo says they can’t let him get away with it because he’s screwing everything up. So they kidnap him and throw him in the trunk of a stolen car.  Kim sees the kidnapping and gives chase on her bicycle. Surprisingly she makes good time and catches them on a dirt road near a canal. They’re soaking wet and there is no sign of David. Leo says he’ll murder her and her family is she ever tells anyone she saw them kidnap him.  

Three years later, Leo is the president of a business he inherited after his father died. He’s lost touch with his friends, but runs into Chang who is working at a convenience store.  An incident results in Kim, a detective who just got an assignment in town, being dispatched to investigate. She hasn’t said anything about the kidnapping, but tells Chang she intends to investigate and gather evidence.  Change calls Leo who says there was no evidence three years ago and there’s no evidence now. He’s forgotten there is literally a car in the canal with David’s body in it.  Lucky for them Kim isn’t that good a detective and can’t put it together.

Later when David’s ghost starts harassing Leo, he decides to get rid of the car and body.  So he blows up the car.  Oh poor, sweet, deluded, idiot Leo. He has no idea how ghosts work.

Before David is a ghost is a total bummer, and then after he’s dead, it’s confusing how Kim was able to make detective in less than three years.

Ridiculous dialogue

I blew up the car last night. No body, no ghost.

Saturday, July 5, 2025

Creeping Death (2023)

It’s Halloween and Tim has to stay home with his mom after his dad is called into work. Mom has cancer and shouldn’t be disturbed. Apparently even if you shut the lights off, kids will ring the bell and bang on the door looking for candy. What sort of town is this?

Tim’s friends don’t care about his situation because he’s supposed to be their designated driver.  On the way to Tim’s house, they decide to prank old Mr. Brownstone and steal a sack off his porch, unintentionally involving themselves in the legend of Aos Si. 

While stealing the sack, one of them drops their phone.  Later while at Tim’s, they receive a call from Mr. Brownstone telling them to bring the sack back. It’s filled with animals bits that he’s using as a sacrifice or offering

Every Halloween, Aos Si comes into the human realm where offerings are left to appease them. They collect their gifts while wearing costumes so they blend in.  They also harvest those who do not appease them, marking their doors as a warning.  This is extremely ineffective because no one knows what the symbol means.

When Tim and his friends go back to Brownstones, they find him dead. They think he killed himself, but his head is missing.  When they decide to call the police, Nate pours alcohol on the phone so they can’t call. They discover they need to offer the body of a loved one as it’s the only way to stop from being killed once they are targeted.  Nate says they should kill Tim’s mom since she’s going to die anyway.  Good lord.

This town is weird. Why are high school students wandering the streets in costume? And why do kids ring doorbells for houses without lights on?  And if Aos Si mark the houses to warn others to appease them, what good does it do when no one knows what the symbol means? And if this happens every year, why does no one seem to know it’s happening?

Ridiculous dialogue

Your mom needs to die.



Friday, July 4, 2025

People Trying Not to Scream

There are an inordinate amount of characters who feel compelled to clamp their hands over their mouths to keep from screaming.  

American Poltergeist: The Curse of Lilith Ratchet
Krampus: the Return
Tooth Fairy 5
Feral
Mega Lightning
Alien Invasion
Bloody Mary Returns
Octagames
Tahoe Joe
Legend of the Lizard Man
The rare double mouth grab from Wood Witch: The Awakening
Don’t Look Away
Killer Body Count
The Jack in the Box Rises
Spookt 
Granny Krampus
Granny Krampus
The rare woman silences a man- from a movie 
whose name I’ve forgotten
Tahoe Joe 2


Thursday, July 3, 2025

Final Summer (2003)

After a camper dies, the camp shuts down and the counselors are given the weekend to clean and lock up. The father of the dead child is a groundskeeper at the camp and for years  the counselors have told campfire stories that he killed his family. 

The camp owner says the camp is her father’s legacy and she will not let it be tarnished.  The first summer they lost two campers, and accidents continued the next four seasons.  No one shall ask why people would willingly send their kids there.  She states they all know who was responsible, although they didn’t admit it.  Why won’t you admit it? Why would you let someone kill your campers? Why would you let him continue to work there?  Who are you accusing?  Since the groundskeeper was mentioned, are we to assume it is him?

Not all the counselors are doing their fair share of the clean up, which causes discord among them. When one of them disappears that night, the others start a search. When they see someone with a  skull mask they assume it’s the missing counselor. But then the skull mask kills another counselor and everyone scatters.

While it’s always good to see the summer camp slashers, the characters aren’t very engaging. Final girl Lexi isn’t very likable and always has a scowl on her face.  The backstory of losing her brother doesn’t help and could have been cut out without any difference.

Also if you’ve just gotten out of a pool and are soaking wet, would you be okay picking up a boombox plugged into an extension cord? Am I overthinking the possibility of electrocution? And once it’s thrown into the pool, could someone touch the metal railing used to get out of the pool? Because someone does but it seems like since that’s touching the water and the boombox is in the water, it would cause some damage.

Also did I miss how the kid died?  They were on a hike, turned around and he was face down on the path.  So I’m assuming murder, but who and how?

A portrait of Tom Atkins, but he’s not in the movie
They may want to put a sheet over the dead kid
She always looks irritated
Continuity - his hair is like this 95% of the movie
Then his hair gets longer 


Wednesday, July 2, 2025

Brew House (2016)

Five college students disappear when they go to an abandoned brew house to film an episode of their web series.  The explorers are: Megan and her boyfriend Brian; Nick who threatens a creepy guy on the way to the building; Skyler who used to be on the show and has a bad feeling about this; and lastly, whiny unlikeable Billy. She’s not very bright, is jealous of Skyler, and wears a brand new outfit to an abandoned building.

In the 60s the building was an artist community where people lived and had studios until there were some unexplained deaths.  As the group explores, they find canvases and paint, a display of old cameras and a photo lab.

When weird things start to happen and one of the group dies, they want to get out. One says the quickest way is to go through the door ahead, but honestly if she’s dead being quick doesn’t matter. The other says they need to go back the same way they came in.

Everyone argues, makes bad decisions and acts like an idiot. A lot of the movie is really dark since they’re mostly in the dark with headlamps.

Ridiculous dialogue

If you’re going to be homeless, why would you be homeless out here?

No one comes here ever. [They ran into someone on the way in.]

People died. We’re going to prison and shit.



Tuesday, July 1, 2025

Tahoe Joe 2: The Sierra Nevada Bigfoot Conspiracy (2024)

After Dillon and Mike release their footage, people online start doing the Tahoe Joe challenge where they go out into the woods and try to find Tahoe Joe. Three influencers tromp out into the snowy woods wearing high heels, skirts, body suits and fur coats. To make them more annoying, they keep posing for pictures and keep yelling “Joe” over and over. Surprisingly they are attacked.

Dillon gets a message from the lone influencer who made it home. She says it’s all his fault her friend disappeared.  Dillon has some sort of cranial malfunction and agrees since if he didn’t put up the video, none of this would have happened.  So much for personal responsibility.  She insists he help her find her missing friends. 

He and Mike trek back into the woods to do a search and this time they bring guns. Dillon and Mike look too much alike and I got confused as to who was who. When they stumble across a headless body, they are a bit too calm. Also Mike is a tool and wants to steal the money in the dead guy’s wallet since he doesn’t need it anymore.

Soon things go sideways and they’re in a bad situation that can only get worse if Tahoe Joe shows up.

The biggest questions are:

  1. If the FBI has been looking for the poacher for twenty years, how have they not found him since he’s in a fairly nice house in the woods?
  2. If Tahoe Joe has good enough night vision that he can walk around a kitchen in the dark without  bumping into anything, how can he not see a guy ducking down on the other side of the kitchen?

Ridiculous dialogue

We’re going to be doing our Tahoe Joe trend from social media lately and trying to find Tahoe Joe and see if we can find him.

Okay we just finished taking pictures. We’re going to keep looking for Joe. We haven’t found him yet.

Dillon: Shoot him, Mike, shoot him!
Mike: I can’t. I don’t know what it is.

They certainly are dressed for a hike, what
with their high heels, skirts and pocketbooks




Monday, June 30, 2025

Ashburn Waters (2020)

Binns organizes a camping trip for his friends from high school since they rarely see each other anymore.  Brett isn’t up for it after getting dumped but Binns convinces him it will be great to see the gang. However he neglects to tell Brett that his ex Scout is going and bringing her new boyfriend. Also they’ll all be car pooling.  So we already know Binns is kind of a dick.

When Binns goes in to check on getting a campsite, the manager laughs because it’s a holiday weekend and Binns has no reservation. When the manager says the only place with empty lots at this time of year is Ashburn Waters, the front desk person hushes him.  They don’t mention the reason its not full is due to the murders.

Binns doesn’t pick up on the tone and heads off to Ashburn Waters. When they see a man taking down the camp signs, Binns asks him about camping there. The man turns out to be the owner and angrily tells him to get off his property as the camp is closed. Binns tells the group it’s fine and they drive until they hit a locked gate. Brie has a bad feeling and wants to leave, but the others want to stay so they leave their cars to carry their stuff in.  

While walking, they see a creepy guy glaring at them from the woods.  No one is suitably alarmed at a creepy angry guy at an empty closed campsite. They decide to set up camp away from him, but later he shows up again and warns them to leave.  One of the guys says he can’t tell them to leave since he isn’t the owner. Lack of self preservation confirmed.  Things will not go well for them.

Ridiculous dialogue

Creepy guy: Leave if you know what’s good for you
Someone in the group:  He’s not the owner so he can’t do shit.

You made me cheat.


Sunday, June 29, 2025

The Glenarma Tapes (2022)

Film students overhear two of their teachers referring to them as untalented gutter rats, before making plans to meet in the woods that night.  Thinking the teachers are having an affair, the students plan to film them and use it to their advantage.

They take a bus to a town near the woods and ask for directions from a local.  He tells them the legend of Harry Half-a-head, who shot half his head off and then wandered around the forest for a few days. He tells them to be careful since kids who go to the forest swear they see him.  The film students end up stealing his rental bikes because they don’t want to walk.

At the forest, the students wait at the forest for their teachers to arrive and then follow them into the woods. They’re a little too noisy to be following anyone, but I guess it’s not that important since they soon lose them.  They wander around until it’s almost dark. Then Gordy and Clair think it’s time to head back since it’s cold and dark and they’ll never find their teachers in the woods. At this point they realize they’re lost.  As they try to get out they see a light in the woods and hear people. They make another bad decision and decide to investigate. Also holding your phone in the air to get a signal in the dark woods is going to reveal your location. Stop hiding and holding a light.

This takes place in Ireland so the accents are great.

The most unflattering haircut known to man.



Sunday, May 4, 2025

Rise of the Black Bat (2012)

District attorney Tony Quinn is blinded by an acid attack. After an  experimental surgery gives him night vision, he becomes the cowled crime fighter the Black Bat.

Soon after Silk Kirby breaks into Quinn’s house to warn him that the man who blinded him is sending someone over to break into his house and kill him.  While Quinn is skeptical that Silk isn’t the assassin, Silk volunteers to be a decoy for the killer. Later once the killer’s plan goes awry, Silk volunteers to be his man Friday. When asked why he’s helping him, he says because Quinn convicted Silk’s brother, which made Silk realize he should stop following in his  footsteps.

Many of the night scenes appear to be lit with either a flashlight or car headlights. Other scenes are available light, such as street lights or lights on buildings.

Some of the music is from another source. I can’t quite think of what it is, but it’s either needle drop music or maybe it’s from iTunes movie.

There is a lot of padding in the production. The first 13 minutes have almost no dialogue other than a voiceover which states who Quinn is.  Later there is a long drawn out bikini contest in a theater. There are four contestants and each of them dance. Yup, you don’t just get the idea of the contest. You have to be bored out of your skull by the contest.  Also one of the contestants looks like she spent a week in a tanning bed or used a bad spray on tan. It’s distracting and not in a good way.


Hilarious dialogue

My name is Kirby. Silk Kirby.

Silk: I heard it through the grapevine someone was going to break into your house tonight.
Quinn: Someone did break into my house tonight.
Silk: Not me [who has just broken into Quinn’s home]

His vision is at less than 10% now and it will be completely gone by the end of the day. There’s nothing that medical science can do for him now.

Snake took my eyes. What good is a man without his eyes? What kind of a district attorney can I be now?

I’m blind. I can’t see.

Tell Oliver Snake that he better keep a night light on because he’s about to be afraid of the dark.

Using a flashlight or the overhead light in the
car to light the scene