Friday, February 16, 2007

Last Rites, aka Dracula's Last Rites (1980)

Mr. A. Lucard is the proprieter of the local funeral home. He and his blood sucking friends have a nice little set up going until Ted Fonda asks for the body of his wifes aunt. They want to have the viewing and funeral in her parlor, but the funeral home tells him that local laws forbid them giving him the body back at this point.

Ted shows up with another mortician who tells him there is no law that says they can not turn the body over to him or another funeral home. Lucard is furious when he finds out Ted has the body, as they remove the blood from the fresh bodies the old vampire way. After this they stake the bodies, and cover this up with mortician's wax and makeup.

Usually they do this immediately following the blood letting, but for some reason that is never explained, they neglected to stake old auntie, which is a problem as now she's lying in state in the downstairs parlor. Ted grows increasingly frustrated as the aunt's body disappears, burglars break into the house, and Lucard plots against him.

Yes, nothing is as it seems in this town or the funeral home.

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