Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Collinsville (2003)

Collinsville is a small town known for being the home of ax factory owner, Kane Barker, who murdered fifty people with a machete.  No one shall ask why the ax factory owner used a machete for his murder spree.

His factory has been abandoned for one hundred years and legend has it that his spirit haunts the place.  Yet the doors to the factory stand open, welcoming drifters, teenagers, rabid dogs, and spirits of the dead.

Stephanie, who just moved to town, randomly follows a stray dog into the abandoned factor and accidentally machetes a drifter.  Horrified, she runs away.

Later that night, we see shots of her at the teen dance interspersed with shots of the still bleeding drifter lying on the floor of the factory.  What?  She didn't tell anyone?  She just left him there? What kind of horrible person is she?

As we stare at the poor bleeding drifter he morphs into Kane Barker.  Somehow he knows Stephanie's name and that she is at the teen dance.  But since he can't find her, he kills some innocent teenagers.

Kane is able to figure out everywhere that Stephanie goes, even though she is randomly running away  and he's not right behind her.  When he finally catches up to her, he rises out of the water (completely dry) behind Stephanie.  Someone throws her an ax, Kane conveniently trips and falls over backwards which makes him easier to kill, and his hat floats off down stream.  The end of the story.

At this point the movie takes a giant curve.  Cut to six months later where exposition for what has happened is provided via a psychologist who interviews cast and crew, and they explain how the movie is lacking.  I've never seen anything like this.

The exposition tells us that when Stephanie machetes the drifter, blood sprays onto Kane's hat and the spirit of Kane, who has been in the stray dog, is awakened.   Huh?  Everyone talks about how there was a new script each day and the writer says the movie makes no sense and is nothing like his script.  Then there is another twist at the end. Gak!  It's not clever, just jarring to the senses.

My favorite part of the movie was that the ax factory owner killed everyone with a machete.   Other than that, it's not good.

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