Saturday, December 22, 2012

Bigfoot (2012)

Harley (played by Danny Bonaduce aka Danny Partridge) and Simon (played by Barry Williams aka Greg Brady) used to be in a band in the 80s, but had a falling out.  Currently Harley is a DJ who is putting on an 80's rock festival in the woods.  But first they need to cut down a bunch of trees in Deadwood, South Dakota to make room for the crowd.

Simon has become a tree hugging environmentalist, who shows up at the concert site with his harem in tow. In an effort to stop the destruction, they chain themselves to the bulldozers.

But Harley has an in with the mayor and shuts down Simon's protest.  He also offers Simon a spot in the show as he figures that will keep Simon from trying to disrupt things on the day of the concert.  Too bad Simon chose to do acoustic environmental ballads rather than songs from the old band that the crowd (such as it is) want to hear.

When Alice Cooper takes the stage, the loud rocknroll disturbs our sleeping CGI Bigfoot, who goes on a rampage.  You haven't seen anything until you've seen Alice crushed under a CGI Bigfoot foot.

With Bigfoot on the loose leaving a trail of carnage in his wake, Harley decides to kill the beast and calls in a favor with the best hunter in the world.  On the other hand, Simon wants to save the poor, fragile, giant, killing machine. He believes he can commune with nature, including Bigfoot, and the poor critter just needs to get his forest back.

The rest of the film involves Bigfoot chasing cars and stepping on people, while everyone tries to either  kill him or save him.  This is a typical Asylum film, with a good premise but tedious execution.

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