Sunday, August 18, 2013

Legion: The Final Exorcism (2006)

This opens with a screen that states the movie is based on a true story. Well, I guess if you took the generic story that a family thought their child was possessed and a priest came to see them?  Okay, I can buy that. Maybe we should ask David Heavener whose name is all over this thing and plays our lead Michael.

Michael is an investigator and also a priest who stopped doing exorcisms after one went horribly wrong. In a Joe Friday styled voice over, Michael informs us that on "... October 31st. 9:30pm. I received a call that I very much feared."  That's right - someone is possessed.

The McMurter clan asks Michael to come to their farm because their daughter is being haunted by demon pigs and evil chickens. Or maybe the pigs are possessed? It's hard to tell other than knowing that there damn sure is something wrong with those pigs... or the girl.

Now every time the name McMurter is mentioned, I heard it as McMurder. So I kept thinking, good god no! Don't go to the McMurder house!  Nothing good can come of that! They're telling you right up front that you're going to die.

Michael arrives at the possessed animal farm in his sweet holy SUV. He's wearing sunglasses and a little earring (which is sometimes there, sometimes not), but they can tell he's a priest by his little white collar. Now it's time for hallucinations, drunkards, and church services.

Roddy Piper plays an alcoholic relative of the teenage girl. He's not in it much, which is okay since his part is not that great. Plus they make him say "They live" which at first I found a bit amusing but then just made me kind of sad.  You're better than this, Roddy.

Once the movie ends, there's a screen with text that's a total downer and just makes me sad. The film is dedicated to Heavener's cousin who was viciously murdered when she was 12 years old by a group of 14 year old girls.  Holy moly! That is absolutely horrifying, and quite honestly, I wish I didn't know that. I looked the case up online and remembered hearing about it as it got national attention due to the young age of the killers and the viciousness of this senseless crime.

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