Wednesday, December 23, 2020

Shelved (2016)

 

A man stops at an antique store and finds a toy elf.  He wants to buy it but the shop owner says it’s not for sale.  The man puts a $100 bill on the counter and takes the elf. What a tool.

Over dinner he regales his wife with the story of how he got it.  His wife laughs and says, “you’re such a card.  Nobody tells my husband no.”  What an unpleasant couple.

Their daughter is sent to a psychiatrist because they don’t like her behavior,  which is pretty mild, typical kid stuff. Although to be fair, they do make her brush her teeth before breakfast, and her snacks are gluten free crackers with soy cheese. So if she was to revolt, I wouldn’t blame her.

The real trouble in the house is actually the elf, Sgt. Gumdrop.  The backstory is that Gumdrop was one of Santa’s best.  The other elves were jealous and pushed him over the edge so now he kills people.  Well that escalated quickly.  Now the family has to figure out how to get this menace out of their home.

This is a really low budget video.  A lot of the acting is stilted and in community theater territory.  The effects are very basic.  There’s a weird scene where a neighbor lets herself in, opens a gift, and raids the fridge. It has no purpose other than padding to set up a kill.  I wouldn’t have watched this other than I was trying to watch lots of Christmas horror movies.


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