Our first story involves a woman named Michelle who’s just moved into a new house. She’s totally into Halloween and goes overboard with generic decorations covering her entire lawn. A neighbor stops by and has an awkward conversation in which he is overly complimentary about her decorating prowess.
Later that night, there’s a knock on her door. Michelle hasn’t grasped the concept of peepholes yet, so she opens her door to a punch in the face from a masked man. When she wakes up, she’s zip tied along with her neighbor, which begs the question, why would anyone beat her neighbor up and bring him to her home?
The two robbers explain that they’ve targeted her because she’s a single woman in a big house with nice things so they know she’s got money. This makes no sense. The house appears to be a typical suburban ranch. There’s nothing about it that screams money, especially based on all the discount store decorations she’s put up.
They threaten to beat her up unless she tells them where she keeps her jewelry, cash and safe. Again, not everyone has jewelry, cash or a safe, plus some people are house poor because they spent all their money buying their home. They soon discover that they’ve picked the wrong house to rob because Michelle is not as pathetic as she seems.
The second story is about two couples who go to a cornfield. When the owner discovers them and asks what they are doing since there are signs and a fence to keep people out, the timid girl gets scared but the entitled girl who shall henceforth be known as Karen gets an attitude because it’s only a cornfield. She doesn’t seem to grasp the concert of trespassing. The owner tells them to get out.
However instead of leaving, Karen convinces the others to stay. When they stumble across a weird candle, Karen decides to take it, upping her crime from trespassing to theft. Later that night their truck won’t start and oh my god why are they still at the cornfield. It has been hours since they were told to leave. Their solution is to find the woman who told them to leave and ask to use her phone because god damn it, she’d better help them or they aren’t leaving.
Karen and her girlfriend set out to look for the woman and find a barn. Instead of seeing if there is a house nearby, they enter the barn, thus adding breaking and entering to their list of crimes for the day. As they wander around looking through things, the entitled Karen decides to head out on her own while the timid girl continues to look through the barn. The timid girl finds an alter and lit candles, but doesn’t grasp this means someone is nearby. She also finds a book that appears to be filled with charcoal drawings. I’m not sure if we were supposed to notice. Was it was a limitation of the budget or they were purposely going for a homemade book vibe?
Karen is completely put out when she can’t find the woman or a phone, and walks around shouting that she wants to speak to the manager. Well, not literally but she gives off that vibe as you watch her sigh, shout angrily, and get aggravated that she’s inconvenienced even though she’s the source of the problem. Thankfully there is a killer scarecrow on the property. Unfortunately there is also a story of where the scarecrow came from and you’re going to have to listen to it as things grind to a halt.
The third story is about a woman who meets a man once every three month for five minutes. She lives for those moments but is finding it hard to be without him. He won’t violate protocol, but you’re not sure what it is or why these two know each other. The most difficult part of this story is that it’s hard to tell what emotion the actress is trying to portray. It’s all blank stares and monotone.
I thought there was going to be a fourth story with a woman at a bar going to a Halloween party, but she disappears and is never seen again. So her night must have worked out well. This seems to be the only link in the stories as she gets a call from the guy whose car is dead at the cornfield. He says “I need help” before the phone goes dead. Unlike a normal person who would be concerned why their friend needs help, she sighs because she now has to go to the party alone. And off she wanders never to worry about her dead friend again.
Cringeworthy dialogue:
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