Real Cases of Shadow People: The Sarah McCormick Story (2019)

Sarah is interested in doing a documentary on the paranormal. She had some sort of supernatural experience as a child and decides to make her film on shadow people.  She enlists her friends as cameraman and sound man, and the three of them head out to get footage for their film.

They interview people who’ve had encounters with shadow people.  One guy is so antagonistic it seems unlikely he would have agreed to meet them.  He shows them footage from a security camera but will only let them see it once and they can’t film it. Then he says he’s going to delete the footage. It makes no sense.

Their next stop is meeting a woman who had encounters thirty years ago. Her family abandoned their home afterwards. When she mentions the house is nearby, Sarah convinces her to give them the address. The woman is hesitant so Sarah says they’ll just get a few shots of the exterior and leave.  But of course, it’s never enough just to get footage of the outside and warning are not heeded. They have to go in and stay the night. Goodbye team, been nice knowing you.

The problem with this movie is most of it is filler.  It’s mostly people riding in cars, having long conversations including ten minutes about farts, talking about anything except shadow people, and going to tourist attractions.  Maybe that would be okay if the characters were likable, but they aren’t. The guys are really annoying. They’re the types of guys you’d avoid at parties or try to look busy if they approved you at work.

There is a lot of footage of camping, eating and tourist attractions

The cleanest abandoned house ever. No dust 
on the mantle, pictures, floor or windows

Sarah is not amused.

The house has been abandoned for thirty years but there
are no cobwebs on the ceiling fan.

The outside of the house looks far more abandoned than the inside.

Legend Has It (2009)

Brian is a film student who decides his film is going to be about a murder house.  Not only was the family who lived there murdered but later students planning to film in the house were also killed. Brian isn’t very bright. Also his college may not be accredited since he’s started this project without discussing it with his professor. 

Even though it’s supposed to be crew only, Brian asks his girlfriend and brother to come along. Then he gets bent out of shape when his brother brings a girlfriend.

Although Brian claims to be making a film about the murders, it’s more apt to say he’s making a film about himself solving the murders.  His focus is his own commentary, which has no basis in fact and he doesn’t seem to have done any research. His comments are all braggadocio or meant to be sensational, such as when he says the little boy that was killed “…bit it right in the corner, probably begging for murder.” Or when he brags about being the first person to shoot there because the last people who tried to film there were murdered. Hooray?

Brian is a clown. There are multiple times he ignores things that others say to him or information that could be useful. He claims to be trying to solve the murders, yet when his girlfriend gets information that their friends are in danger and the potential identity of the murderer, he gets mad because she runs into his interview with the Sheriff.  So much for solving the mystery of who is killing people in the house.

There is also a scene where Brian’s professor casually asks another student what Brian is doing his film on.  When told, he looks alarmed, runs out of his office, jumps in the car and drives two hours to the home. Everyone is already asleep so he wanders through the house and fate is not kind to him.  But we’re not let in on what knowledge he had about the location that was so alarming and why he felt the immediate need to rush out there. Or why he wouldn’t alert the local Sheriff and ask him to do a wellness check? At a minimum the students are trespassing and need to leave.

The cinematography is questionable. Much of it consists of extreme close ups of peoples faces. There’s no need to be that close or do so that often.  There are excessive cuts during each scene and several scenes where they’re essentially shooting right up a girls ass.

Most of the time the music is overly dramatic, as if it’s building up to something happening or a jump scare.  Yet it’s used for the most mundane things, such as: sitting in a hot tub; driving down the road; talking about what they’re going to do; or waiting for the sound guy to arrive.

The credits are odd.  They appear before the title card and based on the title font and background, you’d think it was a story about the time of King Arthur.  The title music is like something you’d hear in a video game, and the photos show there is a monster. So before the credits end we’re tipped off to the identify of our killer.

The lack of proofreading is apparent in the graphic on hypertrichosis, which has three words misspelled, including hypertrichosis.  Although the funniest part is the use of the word decease where it should say disease. 

Uttering annoying dialogue from some jerks:

What?

We gotta go. Now.  

What?

Come on. Everyone now. Come on, we gotta go.

What? What’s, what’s wrong? What’s your problem?

Come on everyone now. Come on. We gotta go.

Why?

Brian, come on.

Why?

Just come on. Brian, come on.

What? What’s going on?

Take a look at this place. [massive sniff] I can smell it. Murder is in the air.

Basically his chest bone was cracked like a peanut.

And yes, the same house where the last people that tried to shoot here were murdered, making me the first person to shoot here.

Based on the how high he’s holding the camera,
he’s only filming the top part of Brian’s head

He’s Willem Defoe-ing it

Do they normally stick lights on the walls?

Expect a lot of unnecessary close ups

What is he looking at?

Close up? Sure, why not.

How quiet is the monster? He didn’t notice it crawled
over the car to get between him and the drivers door?

Was the ghost supposed to stare into the camera?

Shoulder wounds equal death

We need more close ups.

Perv cam

We don’t have enough extreme close ups

This made me think it was in the time of King Arthur

So the credits tell us the killer?

Three spelling errors - it’s disease, not decease. 
 Hypertrichosis has an H and unknown not unknow.

A shot that will confuse the hell out of you until
you realize you’re through an upstairs window
and the bump is the lock on the sill

Look Away (2018)

Maria is not in a good place mentally. She’s bullied in school. Her only friend is constantly stabbing her in the back, sometimes under the guise of helping her.  Her mom is over protective and Maria overhears her dad repeatedly say there’s something wrong with her.  

To add insult to injury, Maria thinks she’s getting a car for her birthday. But instead her plastic surgeon dad invites her to his office and tells her he’s going to make her beautiful by doing surgery on her. Surgery she never asked for or insinuated she wanted or needed. Way to go, dad! Maria is too beaten down by life to do anything other than nod.

One night Maria notices her reflection in the mirror and it’s not moving with her.  She starts having conversations with this person in the mirror who goes by Airam.  While Maria is timid, Airam is confident.  After a particularly bad day at school, Maria is convinced by Airam to touch the mirror and they change places. And Airam is not cool with what people have been doing to Maria.  So get ready for revenge on anyone who wronged her or doesn’t go along with what she wants. Yeah that’s right. Innocent people aren’t safe either.

Has anyone ever had their prom on ice? It seems like the worst idea ever. You’re limiting it to people who can ice skate, and there’s a huge chance of injuries, intentional or otherwise. Those skates are super sharp. 

Titanic 666 (2022)

One hundred and ten years after the sinking of the Titanic, we have the launch of the Titanic 3. The boat is filled with cosplayers, media, relatives of the original passengers, influencers, and artifacts from the wreckage.  The voyage will be tempting fate by traveling over the final resting place of the original Titanic. The captain is not amused when one of the crew tells her there is a death poll in Vegas regarding the ships demise.

Obnoxious influencers Mia and Jackson are excited to be showing their faces in a place where they can get likes and followers, and do some live streaming.  The only time these two are likable is when they are taking offense to Professor Cochran, who is the cad of the trip.

Cochran brought his Titanic artifact collection on board for display and so he can try to get some cash by selling treasures to  the rich passengers.  While Cochran and our cruise host Julie view the display, a girl in period clothing grabs the violin which was played as the ship sank. 

Although Cochran rebukes her, she is shortly forgotten. It’s bizarre that Julie never asks who she is, calls security, or escorts her out.  You’d get harsher treatment stealing a soda from a drug store. So why grabbing priceless relics in a historical display on a luxury ship warrants nothing more than a stern talking to is a mystery.  Also a puzzler is why they casually walk away while leaving her next to a display case where she quickly steals something. Never trust a thief.

If they had just used their brains and escorted her out or hired security for the display - how could they not - the events that unfolded never would have occurred.  Because this weirdo got on board by stowing away in a large bag. Then she changed into period costume and used the stolen artifact to perform a ritual when they reached the exact spot of the disaster.  She says they are desecrating the tomb under the sea and all artifacts should be left where they lay.  So she calls forth the spirits of the dead to kill innocent people to make her point. 

While there are many plot contrivances,  including that the ghosts can kill the engines and are able to do so exactly when the iceberg is dead ahead, the biggest plot hole is the ghosts would have no idea how to steer a modern ship. It’s all computerized so their brains would explode.

Ridiculous dialogue:

Oh my god, this is going to be a once in a lifetime trip sailing on the original Titanic!

It’s good to be back on the Titanic.

I hate them already.

Who’s luggage did she crawl out of, and how did anyone
not notice a bag weighing over one hundred pounds?

The CGI that is Titanic 3

A creepy woman tries to steal Titanic artifacts
and they didn’t call security?

They hung full sized lifeboats in the ballroom? Okay I’m sure
nothing could ever go wrong like them falling on anyone.

The generic black eyed ghosts.

13 Souls (2016)

Aka Diggerz: Black Lung Rises

A century ago, thirteen miners died in a mining massacre.  Fifty years later, there were thirteen murders and a man named Jasper Salts was convicted. Jasper claims he’s innocent.  But since there are no more murders, people don’t pay any attention.

Fifty years after Jasper’s conviction, another round of killings begin. At each murder scene there is a numbered, round, gold tag left with the body. College student Raven decides to investigate and joins forces with Hagerdy, a middle aged man she knows from her bartending job. 

After Raven pulls an all-nighter - are libraries open twenty four hours in this town? - the librarian advises Raven that fifty years ago this same thing happened.  It’s odd that the Sheriff doesn’t realize this occurs every fifty years. Then again, why is he still on the case since his wife was just murdered?

And the questions keep coming. Why does Raven have an eye patch?  How does Black Lung know how to use a chainsaw when he died in the early 1900s? How can a kid who looks like he’s in junior high work at a bar and what is up with that accent? Is he really from Finland?  Is that what a Finnish accent sounds like? Why does Hagerdy remind me of a low rent Quint? Do prisons let multiple visitors be alone with a serial killer? Why do thirteen people need to die every fifty years? Wouldn’t the original thirteen murders be enough? What does Black Lung do if he can’t find people with the same dates of birth as the original miners? Does he expand his kill zone to other towns? Why does the bully in the pink shirt try to get into a fight when he looks like he couldn’t beat up a baby? And why does it take the threat of sexual assault to make the pink shirt guys date realize he’s not a good guy?  Shouldn’t the time in the bar where he bullied someone, tried to get in a fight, and got kicked out make it clear you shouldn’t be anywhere near him?

Ridiculous dialogue :

Raven: So this has happened before?

Librarian: Oh yes.

Raven: And now it’s happening again.

Do you want to take this outside, Mr. coal mining tough guy?

Sheriff and his deputy hanging out, staring at his murdered wife.

The police photographer taking shots of the sheet over the corpse

Why was she given a wig?

The mayors reaction to being told his son was murdered.

Apparently you can take one of a kind journals
out of their local library.

How can he work in a bar? He looks like he’s in junior high

The best backpack in town

They just walked right into the murder scene

Do prisons let multiple people visit inmates convicted of
thirteen murders without a guard in the room?

The miners axe looks like it’s covered in tin foil

He just bullied someone in a bar and got kicked out,
but she’s still thinks it’s a great date

Worst reporter ever. He’s carrying a dog and an iPhone.
He asks questions but interrupts when the Sheriff tries to answer

Diggers (2016)

Aka Diggery 

After their friends disappear on the subway, Artem and Lena hire Egor to guide them into the underground to look for them. They tell Lena to stay on the surface as they rappel down into the tunnel, but she refuses, thus sealing her fate. You just know this isn’t going to go well.

Egor explains that it’s like an underground city in the tunnels. He’s an amateur but his brother was a mole who knew every corner. One day he took his son into the tunnels and never came back. It doesn’t give me much confidence in Egor’s guide credentials.

We cut back and forth between Egor, Artem and Lena, and six people from the train.  The train missed the last station, then there were screams from the other cars, and they managed to escape. Now they’re trying to figure out how to get out of the tunnels.  Also in the tunnels, a tv crew filming an episode and a monster stalking everyone that moves.

Its fairly typical of any movie in which people are in subway tunnels and there is a killer on the loose. Although it’s Russian so that’s different.

Jack in the Box: Awakening (2022)

Amy goes to a large estate to meet with the owners son about starting a job.  She is told she will share a room with a man and woman on the staff, and her duties are the upkeep of the manor, mostly cleaning and ironing.  Oddly enough they also state they don’t charge for the room or any meals. Would anyone actually take a job where you are required to live on the property and pay for room and board? Usually that would be part of the compensation.

Meanwhile on the top floor, Olga the matriarch of the family who is ill with cancer, has purchased a giant jack in the box.  If the box is opened, it can grant a wish but the cost of the wish is six lives.  So it’s a bad time for Amy to start working at the manor since there are only three servants and apparently it is easy to explain missing workers.

There is an awkward scene when Amy first meets fellow servants Janet and Frank, who are playing chess. When they ask if Amy knows how to play, she say yes. Then she goes on to tell them she learned at the orphanage and it led to her believe she could escape, which she did, but then she came back since it was about proving she could do it.  Hey Amy, stop making people uncomfortable. Get to know people a bit before you spring orphanage stories on them.

Ridiculous dialogue from the rich directed at those they perceive as peasants:

We don’t charge for the room or even any meals you’re provided with. You’re treated in many ways as a part of the family. All we ask in return is that you follow our rules, strictly.

Opening the front gate requires going outside,
using a key, and flipping a lever

Adam and Evil (2004)

A group of high school graduates grab some beer, steal their dad’s viagra, and head out to a campground to party. They all cram into one car with three riding in the hatchback.  Confusion will be had based on the advanced age of the teens, who I thought were the parents since one couple woke up together in bed and appeared to own a house.

When they get lost, the teens stop at a bar for directions. The sheriff tells them where to go and his wife tells them about murders at the campgrounds. Although unnerved, they’re not going to let that get in the way of their partying. 

When people start dying, they assume it’s the ex of one of the girls because his van is near their campsite. This seems like a huge leap in logic. However two of the guys think maybe it has something to do with that time when they accidentally set a house on fire with Roman candles and killed an entire family. After all, they have been finding Roman candle in the area. So yeah, we’re not rooting for these guys.

It’s never good when you notice the acting in a movie.  Fear is portrayed by labored breathing and a shaky voice, neither of which are realistic. Then there is the crying, done by squinting excessively but without any tears.  It’s difficult to sit through. 

The movie description says this is a group of sexy teens. There’s two problems with this. The first is if that’s how they choose to appeal to viewers, the movie doesn’t have much going for it.  The second is beauty’s subjective so unless I agree with their beauty standards - which I don’t - they aren’t going to be able to deliver.  Instead we have several “teens” who appear to have receding hairlines and one with an unflattering haircut that makes him look Frankenstein-esque . 

There is a scene where one person could knock the killer on the head with a bat, but instead he yells at his friend not to open the door.  If he’d hit the killer, maybe his friend would still be alive. 

I will give the movie credit for two music montages because it’s such a throwback.  However they were pushing the music so hard it felt like they were promoting the band or the band paid for their music to be featured in the movie. The opening credits, the unpacking at the campsite and going swimming were all long montages with a song playing.  It’s fairly generic alt rock.

Ridiculous dialogue by very old teens

Who are you?

I’m the caretaker.

More like the stalker. (said angrily)

This isn’t funny.

It might have something to do with that night, Halloween night.

No, that’s impossible. It was four years ago and the whole family died.

I can’t believe you got to go. What did you tell your foster mother?

The campfire is so close. Yet the kids don’t notice the van.

Their choice of campsite appears to be a road

If they need to stuff three kids in the back, then
where are the tents and supplies?

I thought these two were the parents.