Wednesday, May 18, 2022

Titanic 666 (2022)

One hundred and ten years after the sinking of the Titanic, we have the launch of the Titanic 3. The boat is filled with cosplayers, media, relatives of the original passengers, influencers, and artifacts from the wreckage.  The voyage will be tempting fate by traveling over the final resting place of the original Titanic. The captain is not amused when one of the crew tells her there is a death poll in Vegas regarding the ships demise.

Obnoxious influencers Mia and Jackson are excited to be showing their faces in a place where they can get likes and followers, and do some live streaming.  The only time these two are likable is when they are taking offense to Professor Cochran, who is the cad of the trip.

Cochran brought his Titanic artifact collection on board for display and so he can try to get some cash by selling treasures to  the rich passengers.  While Cochran and our cruise host Julie view the display, a girl in period clothing grabs the violin which was played as the ship sank. 

Although Cochran rebukes her, she is shortly forgotten. It’s bizarre that Julie never asks who she is, calls security, or escorts her out.  You’d get harsher treatment stealing a soda from a drug store. So why grabbing priceless relics in a historical display on a luxury ship warrants nothing more than a stern talking to is a mystery.  Also a puzzler is why they casually walk away while leaving her next to a display case where she quickly steals something. Never trust a thief.

If they had just used their brains and escorted her out or hired security for the display - how could they not - the events that unfolded never would have occurred.  Because this weirdo got on board by stowing away in a large bag. Then she changed into period costume and used the stolen artifact to perform a ritual when they reached the exact spot of the disaster.  She says they are desecrating the tomb under the sea and all artifacts should be left where they lay.  So she calls forth the spirits of the dead to kill innocent people to make her point. 

While there are many plot contrivances,  including that the ghosts can kill the engines and are able to do so exactly when the iceberg is dead ahead, the biggest plot hole is the ghosts would have no idea how to steer a modern ship. It’s all computerized so their brains would explode.


Ridiculous dialogue:

Oh my god, this is going to be a once in a lifetime trip sailing on the original Titanic!

It’s good to be back on the Titanic.


I hate them already.
Who’s luggage did she crawl out of, and how did anyone
not notice a bag weighing over one hundred pounds?
The CGI that is Titanic 3
A creepy woman tries to steal Titanic artifacts
and they didn’t call security?
They hung full sized lifeboats in the ballroom? Okay I’m sure
nothing could ever go wrong like them falling on anyone.
The generic black eyed ghosts.


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