Aka Zodiac America 3: Kickboxer From Hell
This is one of Godfrey Ho’s mashups where he takes new footage with Caucasian actors and edits it into an Asian movie, dubbing in new dialogue. Usually it’s footage from an incomplete film, but this is from a Asian movie called The Obsessed.
While Sean is practicing martial arts, a nun asks for protection from several men in face paint wearing burlap sacks. Sean beats up their leader and when the others run in to help, the downed man says they should leave Sean for Lucifer.
Meanwhile Robert Ho has gotten married, but when the wedding pictures are shown, there is a floating head in all of them. Ho says they must have used the wrong setting when they developed them. Because you know how often those disembodied heads show up in your photos when you print them incorrectly. The oddest part of this exchange is he doesn’t seem phased at all that it’s the head of his dead wife.
Ho’s new maid runs into a woman in the middle of the night who says she’s a guest. But the next day when she sets a third place at the table, the Ho’s tell her they have no guests in the house. Each night the sightings of the woman get stranger, so the maid abruptly quits.
In our other story, we meet Lucifer, an ugly clown resembling if the Joker did Cabaret. It must be hot on the set because his make up is a little smeary. You’ll wonder where the overlap is in these two stories. It’s the tenuous mention of the nun’s sister being the second wife of Mr. Ho.
At this point I got distracted and had no idea what was going on. Either I missed something crucial or it made even less sense. Mrs. Ho is outside in the woods in a slip. There is a kid, a ghost girl, and here’s Mr. Ho in a hotel with a woman. And it looks like Mr. Ho murdered his first wife so maybe that’s why she’s haunting his house. She died last year so he’s remarried quickly. His dead wife ends up with two inch fangs and growling like a freaky gorilla cat hybrid.
So we know Ho is a bad man, but who died in the high rise after he was tossed into the ocean by the ghost of his first wife? Why does Lucifer keep his life force in cheap plastic skulls? And why is anyone intimidated by his silly grease paint clown face since he doesn’t seem to exhibit any supernatural powers?
Listen for the Halloween score being used in one scene.
Ridiculous dialogue
You know Peter, I love your sister even more than I love myself.
Okay, tell me where the lunatics are.
No. Stop. Wait. Leave him for Lucifer.
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| Face paint and burlap sacks? Must be Lucifer’s minions |
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| The floating head of his dead wife in his wedding photo that Mr. Ho dismissed as a developing error |
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| So Lucifer wears a cape and has a cross in his hideout? |
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| If she’s got two inch fangs, she’s not a guest |
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| Oh Lucifer, you crazy unalarming clown |
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