Mega Lightning, the movie that posits what if lightning were attuned to your bodies energy, the storm of the century was coming, and you’re trapped in the house with a serial killer. Well that certainly took a left turn.
Linda and Gregg go to the forest to watch for the storm. Linda points her camera up and swings it around as if something is happening. But there is only blue sky through the canopy of leaves, which begs the question why are they in the forest if they want to see lightning?
After lightning actually strikes nearby trees, Linda and Gregg run for the car and again we wonder why they went to the forest. When their car doesn’t start, Gregg screams “get out!” and jumps out. Linda’s door handle won’t work. She sits swatting at the handle and screaming, unable to comprehend there is an open door to her right. Thankfully the screaming stops when the fissure caused by a lightning strike swallows the car in a special effect out of the 90s.
Meanwhile in a parking lot, Johan approaches Tammy whose car’s broken down. Tammy has no concept of stranger danger and tells him twice she’s been unable to reach her husband. Before you know it, a chloroform rag is over Tammy’s face and she’s in the trunk.
Over in another part of the plot, Meg is worried her father and mother are going on vacation in the storm. The news says no one should leave their houses but it’s not clear why that’s safer than a car, especially since some houses seem to be ready to collapse due to…lightning?
With their parents gone, Meg and her sister Corin invite Paulie and Sean over for a party. Apparently Meg isn’t at all worried about their boyfriends being on the road in the storm. The group gets into the hot tub, which is an odd choice in a lightning storm. When Meg says they should get out, Paulie tells her to relax. Paulie is a miserable man with limited intellect and it’s unclear why anyone would date him or befriend him.
When their Mum calls to say she and Dad have been in an accident, Meg doesn’t ask if Dad is okay and offers to pick up Mum, ignoring the lightning danger. Mum’s not sure where she is but she’s walked into someone else’s home. There’s a lot of that in this film, which is unfortunate since everyone is walking into the home of a serial killer.
While looking for their mother, Meg and Corin also walk into the same house, saying it’s fine because if the owner comes home they can just say they needed to get out the storm. So now everyone is in the serial killers house and he’s coming back in from burying a body.
I’ve got questions: Why are Linda and Gregg in a forest if they want to look at the sky? What mystery ailment would render their car unstartable and disable the door handle simultaneously? Why doesn’t Linda try to get out one of the other three doors, particularly the one already open? Or why not roll down the window? Why doesn’t Meg ask if her Dad is okay? Are there adults who don’t know you should be in water during a lightning storm? Why is Corin dating the incredibly unpleasant Paulie? Is she paying off a debt?
This is a movie where people are either over reacting or under reacting. It’s kind of hilarious so I guess I give it some credit for having entertainment value, even though it isn’t exactly what they were attempting.
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| The fissure in the bottom center caused by lightning that follows a couple to their car |
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| What happens when a parked car is hit by lightning? It flies straight up in the air |
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| Paulie’s grimace is the physical representation of his personality |
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| How is one of these people is unscathed? |
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| Apparently lightning removes your head |
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| Chewing the scenery with a googly eyed look of fear |
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