Monday, October 8, 2012

Streets of Rage (1994)

Oh my god!  This was amazing! If you're looking for something that will make you laugh with it's unintentional humor, check this out.

Melody Sails works at the local paper and wants to be a reporter.  So she decides to do an expose on homeless kids.  She heads out on the mean streets, and cold calls at a homeless shelter asking to do a story.

Later Melody sees a kid who was turned away from the shelter while she was there. He's about to be beaten up, so Melody saves him from an ass kicking.  After he disappears, our hard boiled reporter uses her wits to track him down for an interview.

Melody lets the kid and his friend stay at her place after she discovers one of their friends was murdered by Lunar, the mysterious rich guy who runs the streets and victimizes the kids.  After inviting them to stay, Melody takes a shower with the door open - creeper.

Melody is creepily affectionate with the twelve year old Steven, constantly touching him and being overly familiar.  When she hears another street kid was murdered, Melodys' only question is ,"was it Steven?"  When she finds out it was the girl with Steven who stayed at her home, she doesn't show any emotion or concern.

If Melody is going to use this story as a way to jump into being a reporter, she needs to learn to keep her big mouth shut.  Every time she meets someone she tells them about her big expose and what she's discovered so far.  She even goes so far as to give detailed descriptions of the homeless kids who are her sources.  Oh no, nothing bad will ever come from this.

Her dating skills are also lacking.  Her boyfriend, who also works at the paper, is cheating on her and keeps standing her up. Yet she doesn't break it off.  Then she goes on a date with a guy she's only met twice before.  His mansion has a locked gate at the entrance so she can't just leave when she wants. But is our heroine concerned about her safety?  Nah, she polishes off three bottles of wine with him over dinner.

Also it's odd that everyone refers to her as young lady.  She's not old, but she's definitely not young enough to be called young lady, unless the person saying that is 80 year old and none of the characters are.

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