Tuesday, May 17, 2016

Avalanche Sharks (2014)

Legend has it that high in the mountains, there used to be killer sharks that swim in snow.  Most people dismiss this as a Native American fable, which is really a shame since an avalanche unleashes said killer sharks from their frozen graves.  Soon snowboarders, skiers, and anyone within reach is a tasty snack for these extremely cold blooded killing machines.

As people begin to disappear on the slopes, friends and family notify the ski patrol.  But this resort has the worst ski patrol ever.  They're too lazy to conduct a search for anyone.  What's that? We're up to four missing skiers?  Oh I'm sure they'll show up at some point.

The one guy who figures out there's a problem raises the call to close the resort. What? Harumph harumph.  Close the mountain?  But it's spring break and the best snow in years.   This is our peak tourist season, says the person in charge who doesn't realize it's better to lose a tourist season than be known as the ski lodge where everyone died.

This is a tough one to get through.  The sharks and blood are CGI, and you won't care who gets taken out by the sharks.

No comments: