Children of the Living Dead (2001)

It was reported that the body of serial killer Abbott Hayes disappeared from the prison morgue. People in town reported they’ve seen him walking around.  A group of college kids drive out to the abandoned Hayes property and party in the family cemetery, which is literally only Hayes mothers grave.  Things do not end well for them. 

Matthew buys the Hayes property with plans to open a large car dealership. When the construction crew try to relocate coffins which are on land the city has been using for a burial ground, they find the coffins are empty.  They’re told to keep quiet since the police  don’t want to upset the town folks.  

Soon Abbott Hayes and his zombie followers show up to stop the construction on his property. Later they head over to the diner.  While you can’t expect people to think it’s zombies that are after them, they look weird and act weird. So saying things like, “hey you kids, get out of here. This is private property”  is not useful.

When the zombies attack the diner, the people inside have a good game plan, but their execution is poor.  They run out screaming and shooting, and some of them end up wrestling zombies. Good god man, why are you touching them rather than shooting them?

Also what is Abbott Hayes end game? How does he control the dead?  Is he just trying to keep his home? And how does he think that’s going to work?  And why do we need to see those strands of spit in Abbotts mouth? Is that something to do with the makeup or is the actor just one of those guys?  And why did they gives Hayes monster hands? This is not a good look for a zombie leader. And why does he wear saddle shoes and spats?

And the most important questions, why did they have five funerals for five different kids at the same time?   Who was supposed to bury them? And why does the girl start bleeding when Hayes bites her corpse? There is no blood in dead bodies.

This movie is not good and if you look at IMDB, there is some interesting trivia about issues on the set. This was basically a vanity project which explains a lot.

Ridiculous dialogue:

Abbot Hayes would roll over in his grave if he saw us partying on his dead mother.

This is plot 429.  A Miss Candy Denisee was buried here. According to the site map here, there should be one body in this here coffin. And this here coffin should be buried in this here grave.

The raging party at the grave of Hayes mother.

I think they’re supposed to be the same age, but this
shot makes them look like mother and son

Cool orange VW Van and the massive Hayes barn

It’s that silly looking Abbott Hayes

The only thing weirder than five funerals for
five different families at the same time?….

… not burying the caskets and leaving them overnight

So did his fingers double in length because he’s a zombie?