Age of Dinosaurs (2013)

Biotech company Geneti-Sharp has developed ways to regenerate skin for burn victims, give functioning legs to the paralyzed, and bring dinosaurs back to life. Say what?  No one shall ask why they decide to gloss over the first two and concentrate on the dinosaurs. I'm pretty sure the new skin and legs would be a bigger moneymaker and far less dangerous to the general populace.

If I remember correctly, Geneti-Sharp's slogan is "The people are sharp. The future is sharp."  Nope, still doesn't explain the dinosaurs or why they think they are a viable option for childrens birthday parties.

The movie opens with scientists in a secret lab reviving a dinosaur in an operating room.  Once it awakes, their brilliant plan is to remain motionless so as not to startle it.  Seems like it would have been a better idea to invest $20 for ties big enough to keep it on the table. Also then they could have avoided gassing everyone in the room. Since no one wants to fail on the dinosaur project, they don't mention this disaster to the CEO. Big laughs are to be had when the poisonous gas appears to leak into the control booth through the apparently poorly installed observation window.

Geneti-Sharp's big announcement is revealed at a fancy venue complete with champagne and rich people.  So that doesn't really explain how firefighter Gabe and his daughter Jade get in. The story is their Uncle gave them tickets because Jade used to like dinosaurs as a kid.  Yeah, I'm not buying that security had tickets to this event.  I'm going to chalk it up to plot convenience.

Now what do you think is going to happen. Do you think a woman, who was a victim of a fire, is going to explain how her beautiful face and body are due to regenerative skin by Geneti-Sharp?  Do you think the wheelchair bound CEO will stand up and walk with his newly mobile legs? (I'm very disappointed that he didn't have dinosaur legs).  Do you think dozens of dinosaurs are in glass enclosures surrounding the audience?  (The audience is perfectly safe -  it's the same glass they use on the space shuttle.)  Do you think that there will be a problem mirroring the original experiment when they couldn't control the dinosaurs  And would you guess that the dinos will break free from their supposedly unbreakable space glass cages and start eating their rich benefactors?  Yup.

Gabe and his daughter are the only ones we care about so we watch as they try to escape from the dinosaur menace which soon spills into the streets of Los Angeles. "Hey I'll distract it as long as I can", says Uncle as he promptly rides into the things mouth two seconds later. Maybe he should have had a better plan.

Yup, dinosaurs roaming LA and a news team whose reporter doesn't realize that cameras can zoom make a bad combination.  You just know somethings going to go horribly wrong as she urges the pilot closer and closer for that aware winding shot.

Also what the hell is up with Gabe's daughter. Its fine if the film wants to portray her as the kids whose dad was never there for her. But when she says it's about time he was there for here because he was too busy fighting fires when she was a kid, you just want her to die, the selfish little idiot.

This is a ridiculous movie, and I don't understand why Treat Williams is in it.  But he doesn't just phone it in, so you've got to give him credit.  If you watch it with a bunch of friends, it's hysterically funny and enjoyable.