Finders Keepers (2018)

Five urban explorers travel five hundred miles to visit an abandoned school and then spend most of their time doing other things.  These guys are the worst explorers ever.  They drive hundreds of miles without knowing where the school is located,  get in a fight with a couple creepy guys in town, and when they finally locate the school, the passage they were told to use to get in has been boarded up. Also why would they have specific instructions on how to enter the school, but not on how to get there? Seems like a major oversight. 

They use a crowbar to break in, pull a few pranks on each other, and then pick rooms to sleep in for the night.  That’s just weird and a total waste of a night.   They talk about how no one can see their flashlights since all the windows are boarded up. Yet as they speak the moonlight from a window is reflected in the hallway, and later when decide to bed down for the night, you can see the reflection of the light through every window in the room. 

The group ignores basic safety precautions by having everyone wandering off on their own in this huge building. Plus three of the five seem to have no interest in the building at all. So why are they even on this trip? Dani spends her time in the gym working out or sitting around. While Eric shoots topless photos of his girlfriend Courtney. 

They’re still there the next night when a crowd gathers outside for a fight. They stay quiet until the thugs leave, but then hear a woman screaming for help as men sexually assault her.  Courtney insists Eric go down to stop them.  While that’s the right thing to do, it’s not the smart thing to do since it’s four against one and you have no idea what sort of weapons they have.  As expected things go horribly wrong, and dumbass Courtney betrays her location inside the building and the hunt is on. 

If there’s one thing that drives me nuts, it’s when people are hiding from someone who is going to kill them, but instead of being quiet, they get in a fight or start screaming about what is going on.  Or they’re hiding but they inexplicably stand up and start talking loudly which progresses to screaming. Yes, you’re freaked out, but shut the hell up so you don’t get killed. 

Based on the cover, it looks like the group is going to find something paranormal in the abandoned building. But instead the threat is middle aged deviants. There is nothing supernatural in the school or anywhere in the movie. The face on the cover doesn’t even seem to be anyone in the film.

Also while the cover says Finders Keepers, the title card said Danny LeGare’s Finders Keepers. Are we supposed to know who that is?  Why do I care that he made this film? I would expect this with a director whose name is going to bring in viewers, like Martin Scorsese or Stanley Kubrick, but not with someone who doesn’t have a name in the movie business.