Thursday, July 1, 2021

Rise of the Mummy (2021)

Three people are killed by the Army as they are trying to stop a murderous mummy while stuck in a time loop. I'm guessing their ritual worked since the Army wasn’t in the loop. However I'm confused as to why the Army was so gung ho to stop this mummy, when they had no plans to destroy it or quarantine it. You'd think if the Army is concerned enough to kill civilians, they'd want to keep the killer mummy off the streets. Well you'd be wrong, my friend.

The next time we see the mummy he's in Miss Dawson's class at the local university.  How did the University get this mummy? The class has less than ten students, and they don't even seem to have any grasp of archaeology. Miss Dawson asks, "Who can tell me what a mummy is? Anyone? No?"  Is this even an archaeology class? How can students who have no idea what a mummy is actually be given a real mummy to study?

The class is the first group of people granted access to this valuable mummy.  Again, I must ask why? How? Miss Dawson says they will be published if they discover anything significant. I would counter that inexperienced students who can't even muster a guess to define a mummy are not the brain trust that is going to find anything worthwhile.

Even more confounding, their research and safety protocol is terrible. The mummy is on a table under a sheet in a classroom. They don't even have a box to keep him in.  The students are told to wear masks in case there is mold or gas that could kill them.  However Miss Dawson pulls her mask down to talk. Many students have their masks under their chins, or walk into the room not wearing one. They touch the mummy, as well as a gross looking book in the mummy hand, without ever using gloves.  Even if you're inexplicably not concerned about deadly mold or spores on the book, from a historical preservation perspective, you always wear gloves so the oils on your hands don't damage anything.

Holly takes the book from the mummy's hand to see what she can find. In less than an hour, her crack research leads her to believe that this mummy is one of the lost kings. I'm skeptical that a book referencing  the lost kings just happens to be in the hand of a lost king.

Soon the mummy is up and about, and killing whoever he finds. They in turn become something undefined and help the mummy kill anyone in the building.  When the students try to call for help, the phones don't work.  However their internet is just fine. No one thinks to use that to call anyone for help.


Ridiculous Dialogue:

If your findings prove to be substantial, they'll be published in writing.

Remember the mummy is very, very old and we have to preserve it.

Kira: "We're just really scared that Tracy's dead."
Miss Dawson:  [Sigh]


Thankfully the captions tell me that blood is
spurting because it's not on screen

More useful captions to tell us the heart is squishing

The old book that everyone touches without a 
thought of what kind of filth is staining the pages

Ladies and Gentlemen, the mummy and his 
mop like bandages


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