Saturday, October 3, 2015

Sorority Row (2009)

After her boyfriend cheats on her, Megan and her sorority sisters come up with the brilliant plan of playing a prank to get revenge.  They provide her boyfriend Garrett with some pills they tell him are  roofies. Super creepy Garrett doses Megan, and waits for her to pass out.  But when Megan vomits and goes into convulsions, he panics and calls for help.  The girls insist that she needs immediate medical attention and load her into their car.

But instead of driving to the hospital, they purposely take a wrong turn, while Megan pretends to be getting worse.   After they arrive at an old quarry, the girls pretend that Megan is dead.  Funny joke so far, kids.  To make things even funnier, they state they need to cover up her death to avoid ruining their futures.  The question is how to get rid of the body?  They decide they can either dump it down into the mine shaft, or chop it up into pieces using sharp rocks.

Seriously? Why would anyone use a sharp rock to cut up a body?  As with all pranks in horror movies, someone ends up dead.  The victim is killed by being stabbed in the chest with a tire iron.  No one shall ask how a tire iron with a blunt end is able to stab someone in the heart. It would be more likely to break their rib cage or sternum, which might possibly piercing a lung or heart, but that's not what we're looking at here.

Although they disagree on how to handle the situation, in the end, the body is dumped down the mine. Then they head back to school pretending to have no idea what happened to Megan.

A year later, everyone is ready to graduate college and it's party time.  But someone is killing the girls in the sorority who were involved in that fateful trip to the mine.  There are some red herrings, and the sudden appearance of the Megans younger sister who plans to pledge the sorority. Argh! Honest to god kids, stop thinking that hiding a dead body is going to make your problems go away.  

There's nothing new or anything original, and you've seen the characters before, but it wasn't bad.  Ellie was the most annoying characters and you just wanted to punch her in the head to get her to stop whining.  I once heard someone say that Rumor Willis has a potato head. So now every time I see her in a movie, all I can see is a damn talking potato perched on her shoulders.

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