Sunday, September 26, 2021

Psycho Scarecrow (1996)

 Five teens go to an old farmhouse to party for the weekend. When their car breaks down, they cut through the cornfield to get to the house.  There is a legend that the settlers of the area were refugees from the Salem witch trials and the cornfield protects those who protect it. Plus something about Satan which I can’t remember because I was confused about the witch refugees.

The story is told via narration on a tape recording made by one of the teens before she plummeted to her death from a high rise.  The police figure this out when they find a running tape recorder on her bed. Did she kill herself or was she murdered? Maybe the tape will tell them. 

However what they find is a long story, complete with useless narrative, such as “Floyd told us he was lost. Of course, he was only joking,” or “I was so relieved when we got to the other side. I promised myself I’d never walk through another cornfield.”   Someone in fear for their life would probably leave the mundane observations out of it.

At the farm, the teens have a campfire and cookout, and one couple goes off on their own.  Floyd, who likes taking photos, takes their picture as they’re making out and half undressed.  This causes Eric to beat creeper Floyd up and leave him in the cornfield.  When the others insist on going  back to make sure he’s okay, they find Floyd dead. Fearful of getting in trouble, Eric decides they need to get rid of the body and never speak of it again.  Oddly enough this involves putting Floyd in the cornfield as a scarecrow with a pumpkin on his head.  Sigh.  

And just like that somehow we’ve got a demented killer scarecrow on the loose looking for revenge. Plus two cops investigating either a suicide or murder, depending on which cop is speaking.  There is so much narration in this movie that I wonder if it didn’t make sense and this was a way to explain what was going on. 

While it’s not a great movie, it’s so much better than the crappy movies from recent years I’ve been watching. There is definitely more entertainment to older low budget bad movies, than recent horror which is just plain bad.  Sometimes enjoyment is relative. If I watch this after a good movie, it’s going to seem really bad. But if I watch this after recent low budget movies, it would seem like Casablanca. 


Ridiculous dialogue

I ain’t got no imagination. I’m jut a cop doing his job.

You’re a piece of work with your quick promotion and your fancy shoes.

This isn’t funny anymore.

Anyone who wears flip up glasses is a douche

Is this really the way to the farmhouse? There’s no road

They left the top down all night. Condensation must
be inside as well as outside

CGI pumpkin head goon on a motorcycle

No pumpkin has ever been this shape.


No comments: