Alone in the Ghost House (2015)

Lana and Derek are paranormal investigators. They are heading to the location of a murder suicide to film footage for their show.  Lana’s college roommate Sophie is coming along, as is Ford, their cameraman. 

Derek hires Tabitha, a psychic he found on Craigslist. He tells the others he’s vetted her, but it later becomes apparent either Derek lied or his critical thinking skills are nonexistent.  Tabitha is very odd and tells them they’re going to die if they don’t leave. Derek laughs and says they’ll be spending the night. 

The group decides to sleep in three different rooms. This is a terrible idea when you’re in an abandoned house which you’ve been told is haunted. Even if it wasn’t haunted, is a hobo staying there or kids hanging out there?  When one of the team gets injured and cell phones/chargers disappear, you can’t help but think this wouldn’t have happened if they’d had even the smallest bit of safety protocol.

At one point Lana says she’s “proving once and for all I’m not afraid of anything.”  Was that even on the table? At not point did I wonder, or care, how brave Lana was. If someone is not afraid of anything, they’re probably not smart enough to calculate the risk and whether it’s a good idea or not.

Ford makes numerous inappropriate remarks to Sophie, who barely tolerates him.  Yet he doesn’t take the hint.  “I’m not a creep or anything,” says the guy who is being a total creep.  He interacts with Sophie as if he believes he is charming and funny.  But he is actually unlikeable and off putting.  Ford seems like the type of guy who would get fired for sexual harassment and then blame the person he was harassing.

Not much happens in this movie other than spending time with some annoying, and seemingly disingenuous characters.  The biggest problem is what appears to be a huge plot hole based off Derek hiring Tabitha.  So if he hadn’t decided to use Craigslist to find a psychic, none of this would have happened?  It’s way too random to make any sense.

Ridiculous Dialogue which shows some questionable cranial functioning:

Derek, about the psychic - I brought her here because she had the credentials. She’s the real deal.

Lana, Sophie and Derek are not impressed

The most notable thing about the seance scene?
The huge box that says Eggs

If this is the creepiest thing Derek has ever seen, then he’s not only
a terrible paranormal investigator, he’s lived a sheltered life