Aquanoids (2003)

In1987, an Aquanoid killed a number of people in a small town, including Vanessa’s mother. The medical examiner covered up the deaths by ruling them boating accidents.  Jackson, who saw the creature, became known as the town loon.

Seventeen years later, environmentalist Vanessa is doing work at the beach and sees an Aquanoid.  I’m not sure what sort of work she’s doing because she’s in denim shorts and a bikini top, but shes on a first name basis with the Mayor. She barges into his office and tells him to close the beaches. And by office, I mean the hallway where his desk appears to be.

Since it’s the 4th of July weekend,  the Mayor is having none of her “close the beaches” nonsense. So Vanessa and her friend hand out flyers telling people to stay out of the water. They also go to the beach and shout at people about the danger of the Aquanoids. 

When a dead body is discovered, the Mayor blackmails the medical examiner into saying it’s another boating accident. Then he pays Officer Stanze to make Vanessa disappear.  Oddly enough, Stanze seems fine with killing her. The Mayor also sends the developer he’s working with to seduce a reporter and steal a tape with a story about the Aquanoids. 

We end up with multiple people at the beach, more deaths, a human who gives birth to a creature, and a fight against the Aquanoids. Or I guess I should say Aquanoid because it’s not like there is a group of them. It appears to just be one who is causing a ruckus. And why did they come back after 17 years? 

This is a low budget movie. The music is similar to someone with a Casio keyboard writing music for a local soap opera. The beginning of the movie was fairly amusing, but about thirty minutes in I started wondering if I was actually watching a bad comedy because the acting was often over the top.  While the first part was amusing, it got tedious as it went on.

Ridiculous dialogue:

Close the beaches now!

Vanessa - The Aquanoids are back! I just had a run in with one down at the cove.

Developer - What?

Mayor - Wait a minute, now just a minute now. Aren’t you uh, maybe it was just an oversized fish.”

What we have here is a hysterical female who saw a large fish.

Dangerous water! Dangerous water! Look I know it’s the Fourth of July, just stay out of the water. Tell your friends. Tell your family.

Your mother was an old fashioned girl. We were married and she didn’t know how to tell you.

Boom mic alert

The Mayor’s office?

The loneliest Aquanoid

Vanessa speeds around on a scooter

She’s swimming but looks like she’s drowning

Vanessa’s photographic proof the Aquanoid is real

Would you believe two people in bathing suits handing
out generic flyers about dangerous water?