Witches in the Woods (2019)

A group of college kids go on a ski weekend. When an accident closes the road, they decide to take a short cut. The short cut is blocked with a chain that says no trespassing, which they literally drive through.  As if that isn’t warning enough, it’s winter, the road might be dirt, there’s no way to know if it’s plowed all the way through, and they do not have four wheel drive.

On the trip is Allison,who has been having a rough time since she was roofied and sexually assaulted. Jill thought this would help her feel better, but this may not have been advisable since this trip is far from drama free.  At least two guys in the van are on the football team and may have been involved in her assault, including Jill’s boyfriend Derek. No one knows Matty’s girlfriend Brie but she’s making catty remarks about Allison’s assault which imply she’s seen a video of it. Plus Jill is cheating on her boyfriend with Phillip.  So even if the short cut goes okay, they’re bound to end up hating each other.

No one seems to be paying much attention to where they’re going since three hours later, they’re still on the shortcut. When Derek takes his eyes off the road, the van ends up in a ditch. While they are able to get it back on the road, Allison’s foot hits the gas and they’re off the road again, getting stuck for good. There is no cell service and it’s going to be dark soon. It’s also the woods where there were witches in colonial times

Is there actually anywhere in Massachusetts where you can drive for three hours and not hit a road? If you’re on the highway, it takes less than three hours to get from one side of the state to the other.  Why is no one concerned about the snow covered road and the lack of four wheel drive in the van? It’s one thing if you’re going to a friends house, but it’s another to go down a random snow covered road in the woods. 

And why do they seem to constantly have the van running when they have no idea how long they are going to be there? They seem unconcerned about running out of gas.  Shouldn’t they have put on their winter hats and coats, and bundled up before they ran out of gas? Also why are they all sitting apart?  It’s freezing. You’re cold.  Huddle together for body heat to keep warm. It’s like they’ve know nothing about winter.

There are two puzzling aspects of this movie. The first is that Philip is pressuring Jill to tell Derek about their relationship.  A weekend ski trip with friends is not the time to reveal you’ve been cheating, especially when the other man is on the trip. It makes no sense.  But the second issue is more problematic which is there are no witches in this movie. Yes, there is talk of witches and they pick up a brochure about witches and their local history. But if you’re looking for a witch, you will be severely disappointed. 

Bad winter decisions -  go from bare pavement…

To packed ice….

To a couple inches of snow on a road that isnt open