Tuesday, July 1, 2014

The Dead Undead (2011)

When their jeep breaks down, a group of college students decide to stay in a nearby motel since they can't repair the problem.  The motel grounds are quiet and the office seems deserted.

After waiting a little while for someone to show up, they decide to grab keys for themselves and pay if the owner comes back.  They grab several rooms, one of which has a tiny vampire under the bed who promptly drools blood onto the forehead of one of the young women, before being chased off.

The girls lock themselves in a room while the guys get guns from the back of the jeep. It's not clear why they brought  guns on vacation or why they hardly brought any ammo.  Creatures that appear to be zombies begin coming out of the woods, while a van pulls up and unloads some large men and one large woman dressed in fatigues.  Lots of gunfire commences.

Hopefully you enjoy gunfire because most of this movie is zombies slowly charging while large guns are blazing.  The  creatures are zombie vampires. Seems there was a town full of vampires who drank cows blood instead of human blood.  Everything was great until mad cow disease made them turn into zombies.  The people in the van are trying to stop the zombies before they manage to get out of the valley.

This is not a good movie.  The fighting is mostly in one location, is very repetitive, and for some reason the group uses their only rocket launcher to kill a lone zombie in a wheelchair. Ooo, big threat there.

There's a scene where an injured man says he'll see the large woman in Valhalla.  Next thing you know, there he is in chain mail and sepia tone while sword fighting.  So I guess he's in Valhalla? But the scene just keeps going and going. Then we see the large woman. Huh? So she's dead too?  Why are they fighting? Why is this going on so long?

Nope, this isn't Valhalla, it's a flashback to their origins as vampires. Who cares?!?  The scene is pointless, long, and has no bearing on the rest of the movie. I thought there must be an explanation and that the person offering them eternal life would be a plot point, but no.  It's not mentioned again other than to show up in other flashbacks of vampire origin, all of which could have been cut from the film and it would have made no difference.

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