Saturday, March 4, 2023

No Escape (2020)

Aka Follow Me

Cole has a huge online following. He spends his time traveling the world and documenting his adventures for his fans. Yes, he’s incredibly special and doing this all for you.  

His fans have voted for his next trip to be to Moscow.  When his friend Dash announces the surprise birthday gift is a visit to an escape room, Cole scoffs. But Dash informs him it’s an invite only escape room made special just for them.

Cole and his friends are clueless and haven’t bothered to learn anything about Russia. Dash almost gets arrested by riding the baggage carousel into the luggage area in the airport. Later he rings up all sorts of amenities in the hotel because their host is paying for it. Meanwhile Cole is unable to do anything without filming himself.  He makes a spectacle of himself in a restaurant and everything grinds to a halt when he insults the locals. They understand English and while Erin is embarrassed, Cole just laughs. 

He spends all his time making content. Their first night they go to a bar with Alexei, a rich guy who’s paying for their hotel. When Coles girlfriend Erin is accosted by thugs, Cole’s too busy posing with his fans to notice. Later he’s more concerned with whether Alexei got it on video, as opposed to making sure she’s okay.  

The next day, they head to the escape room and their phones are confiscated.  Alexei has made sure their visit will be live streamed on Cole’s channel. A bag is put over Coles head and he’s taken to what appears to be a crematorium. He has to cut open a dead body to find a key to get out of the room. 

When he finds his friends, they are locked in torture devices. There is limited time to solve each puzzle to free them. While at first Cole thinks it’s a game,  his friends scream in pain as their situations get more dire. When they finally try to get out, Alexei is nowhere to be found and there is blood in the control room.

As they panic and try to figure out how to get out of the building, they wonder if their lives are actually in danger.  Could it be the thugs from the bar? Russian gangsters? Alexei? It’s no longer fun.

As with most movies about influencers, the characters aren’t likable. If you’re seen a lot of horror films, they ending won’t be a total surprise.  


Ridiculous dialogue from a guy who only care about his content

I’ve traveled all over the world looking for the wildest experiences to entertain you guys.

As usual, I’m taking you somewhere you’ve probably never been to show you something you’ve never seen.

This guy’s so rich that everything he does is literally the best.

Woah, look at this - so much content!

I wonder if Alexei got any of that on camera (Cole about his girlfriend being attacked).

I don’t know why everyone shit talks Russia so much. Besides all the guns and gangsters, it’s actually not that bad. 

What’s up kids? I’m using gears to solve puzzles to save my friends life.

It’s always good to make jokes about Russians being gangsters
Cole can’t do anything without filming content
Cole thinking about his fans, no, he’s thinking about himself
Yes he really care about you, not just making money off views
The gang heading to Russia

No comments: