Thursday, September 11, 2014

The Last Stand (2013)

Sheriff Roy, who appears to have an orange spray tan, lives in the small desert town of Summerton Junction.  When a drug lord escapes from custody and his gang provides him with a car that can go up to two hundred miles per hour, the Feds plot out where it is likely he'll try to cross the border.  There is small chance he'll end up in Roy's rinkydink town, but the Feds just tell him to watch out for anything suspicious. They aren't going to give local law enforcement any real information since he's just a silly small town Sheriff.

When Roy notices that things in town that aren't right, sic as the local diary farmer not making his daily delivery to the town's restaurant, he starts investigating. This leads to the discovery of a dead farmer. And you can just bet that this is tied in to our escaped drug lord and some advanced reconnaissance.

This is one crappy, predictable, cookie cutter movie, yet it's also kind of entertaining if watched with friends.  There are multiple plots holes - for example, if a magnetic field can pick up a car and make a gun stick to the roof, then why aren't handcuffs affected?  Surprisingly, there are many spots where we expected one liners from Arnold, but it was not to be. So we just made up our own.

One of the biggest problems is that everyone in the movie is an idiot.  The villains, the FBI, and the entire town is full of idiots.  At one point there's a road block in town. The Deputy is hiding behind the car, and the villains are at the other end of the main street in town.  A girl going to the laundry mat walks around the corner, sees the Deputy and asks why he's hiding.  The Deputy repeatedly tells her to get indoors, but she keeps asking what's wrong. She finally figures it out when gunfire erupts, but instead of going inside, she runs into the street and hides behind the car with the Deputy. Stupid town.

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