Leeches (2003)

The swim team are riding high on their most recent times at practice and head off to hang out at the pond with their girlfriends. Someone mentions that the pond has leeches but no one seems very concerned about it, which is kind of strange.  Steve-o, who talks about himself in the third person, has been supplying some of the guys on the team with steroids.  So those in the know are certain they can win the upcoming meet.

When Steve-o and Jason notice they have leeches on their backs, they knock the bloodsuckers onto the shower floor, where the creatures sit until someone shoves them down the shower drain. Yuck.

Later one of their teammates slips in the shower and hits his head, knocking him out cold.  The drain cover rattles and a giant leech makes it's way from the drain into his pliable, unconscious mouth. There's certainly nothing gay about that, or about giant leeches crawling over your buttocks, up your legs, or touching your face.  Turns out the leeches from the pond have grown to the size of hand puppets due to the steroid laden blood of the swimmers.

With the swim meet coming up the next day, Steve-o goads Tony into downing a bag full of steroids to catch up to those who started using earlier.  Since it's hard to swallow all at once, he has Tony wash the pills down with alcohol. This doesn't seem to be in anyone's best interest, and wouldn't you know it, Tony ends up dead after being attacked by leeches.  No one shall ask how his cause of death was drowning when he was found splayed on dry land.

Like most of David Decoteau's films, this one has a lot of lingering shots of guys in tiny swimsuits, shirtless, or in their underwear. The difference with this film is there is actually a reason for them to be wearing swim suits.  The leeches appear to be puppets, sort of like leech oven mitts, and there is an unnecessary twist ending.  Also at one point someone bites into a leech and chews a big hunk of it while grimacing. If it's so bad, then why not spit it out? No one said you had to eat it, ya dolt.

Ridiculous dialogue:

"Trust Steve-o, okay?"  Steve-o's catch phrase

"Your grandfather could even do better than that ,and he's dead." - swim coach

"I am the President of the United States of your ass." - swim coach

No one notices the leeches hanging from their backs

giant leech + guy on floor = oh christ

the reason for this movie

What the hell is that?

Leech puppets want to exfoliate you

Holding leeches to his face is right out of Ed Wood

It's so obvious that he drowned

Those wacky leeches.. what will they do next?