Thursday, June 5, 2014

The Silencer (1992)

Angel, a young woman who looks kind of like Madonna with short black hair, is a top assassin who can't seem to quit the job, and gets her assignments from a video game.  At the first murder scene, she picks up a guy to throw the police off her trail, and once he's no longer useful picks up another guy.

The video game that Angel consults for each assignment is at a local bar and has primitive graphics.  I'm not sure why others in the area don't notice that she's getting a hit list from the machine since it talks, but there you go.  The game tells her each villains weakness with my favorite one just saying: legs. No one shall ask why the weaknesses are often ignored when she's stalking them for the kill.

A guy named George wears a leather jacket and spies on Angel via a video game.  He watches her and tends to show up everywhere she goes. How? Why? Who?  No idea.  Is he a ghost? Is it the same video game? Where the hell is George when he's watching her? It's just an empty black space. Is he supernatural? Aw hell, who the knows, but we do find out that George is her ex who is also an assassin, and she doesn't want to see him because he was abusive.

Gross old Morten Downey Jr. and his massive choppers will make your skin crawl as one of the villains.  Watch for him breathing after his death scene.  Angel leaves a Polaroid photo on his stomach and you can see if moving up and down with each breath.

This is not a good movie, but it's pretty amusing.  The movie has a theme song which is essentially a low rent, seventies style, James Bond theme with lyrics that go:

The Silencer
Her body is her weapon
The Silencer
The kiss of life or death depends on you

Ridiculous double entendre dialogue:

George, as he watches Angel handle her gun - "Trace the trigger with your finger, Angel.... Balance the barrel in your hand..... Caress it.... it's waiting to explode, Angel. Come on, squeeze it baby."

If you use a coin with a gun on it, you'll get
an assignment to assassinate someone
Where the hell is he?
Primitive video game graphics
Angel is a master of disguise.
Madonna wannabe looking for another assignment.
If only he didn't have any legs, he'd be fine.
How did he get on her TV? Who the hell is this guy?
Death makes stupid faces.

No comments: