Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Locked in a Room (2012)

This is one of those movies where you have no idea what's going on.  Scenes go nowhere, characters are despicable and unlikeable, new characters are frequently introduced with no background on how they fit into what has already happened, locations switch randomly to other unknown locations, and you can't even tell the characters are in the same place.  Good god.

So since it was so disjointed, here are some thoughts I jotted down during the movie:
  • Teresa went to Mexico. Now she has a knife and is thinking of doing something bad, (such as starring in this movie). 
  • Deb? asks stranger for money to get a hot chocolate. Stranger give hers $5.  Deb gets mad. Sarcastically tells stranger to dig into purse because she can do better than that. Seriously? WTF? Someone punch Deb in the throat.
  • 20 minutes - still no plot
  • Why does this girl keep running outside to puke on the brick walkway? 
  • Teresa's brother Red is missing. I guess this is him since he has red hair.
  • 28 minutes. She keeps a gas can in the van she's living in and she's sniffing it. 
  • Here we go - they're locked in a room with lots of bottles, one marked urine.
  • Everyone is an a-hole!
  • This isn't horror! This is drama with people inexplicably locked in rooms with jars of urine and a guy in a strange mask who visits them and asks them questions.
  • She's out of towels and I hate her.
  • That is not a motel room doorknob, it's too nice.
  • Yay! Is she dead? Smother her.
  • Okay we have a plot: grandma died, had a shifty insurance company who hired an attorney to investigate... something because insurer doesn't want to pay.
  • Now someone else is locked in a room. Are all the jars urine? They're drinking them without a problem.
  • Why are they locking people in rooms?
  • It's been 51 minutes and there's still an hour left in this thing?!? AARRGGGHHH!!!!
  • WTF? Now there's a ventriloquist? Seriously, beat the hell out of it.
  • Red's talking pretty tough for a nose picking, urine drinking, impotent red head with an anger problem.
  • No!! No more new characters!  
  • That childs blood is so chocolately. "She's fresh..." with chocolatey goodness.
  • Another character and even more sarcasm
  • "Well I guess we just hate each other, don't we? But what I want to know is who killed grandma?"
  • Exposition to explain what the hell we just watched?  Screw you movie!
  • Did you just lock yourself in a room, you freakin' idiot? Yup, she sure did.
  • Scariest thing in movie is mask looking through door and it's not scary at all.
The previous shots made the van appear to be isolated,
but she's actually at the edge of a parking lot.
Yes, the best way to determine if you have any
gasoline is to look down the nozzle and sniff it.
Note: she keeps the gas can inside the van she's sleeping in
Mexican wrestler sighting
If they were really evil, they wouldn't put
labels on the urine and water.
Red and his charcoal hobo bruise
Why no one attacks this guy is beyond me. His mask is off
putting, but he looks easy to overpower. At the very least
you could smash the jars of urine over his head.
I'm wondering why she's hanging out in a hotel hallway.

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