Tuesday, February 21, 2023

Amityville Hex (2021)

A bunch of vloggers recite the Amityville hex, become unhinged and die.  The movie’s comprised of vlog footage and one short Zoom birthday meet up. None of the vloggers interact in real life. They just sit alone and talk to their cameras. 

The movie fills time by having each character recite the hex. After the first one or two did it, each characters could have mentioned they’d said hex and we’d get it. For the majority of the film, nothing happens except people talking. They’re not all that interesting and the acting isn’t good. 

In one scene a vlogger cuts a pentagram into her arm while repeatedly muttering the same thing over and over. Then she advances on her boyfriend with a knife. Does the boyfriend try to stop her from harming herself? No, he keeps filming. Does he try to protect himself from the knife? Of course not. He couldn’t film if he stopped her from stabbing him.

This is not good. It has no entertainment value. Maybe they enjoyed making it, but it’s brutal to watch.  If it had been a ten minute film it could have gotten the same points across. There are cameos by George Stover and Lloyd Kaufman. The cover has nothing to do with the movie and nothing like that happens. Avoid this one. 

Annoying dialogue

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George Stover deserves better
The Zoom birthday party is as exciting as it gets
Her nails are claws
Most of the movie consists of shots like this


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