Saturday, February 18, 2023

Amityville Moon (2021)

Alyssa and Carla decide to escape from St. Matthias, a half way house run by priests and nuns. However they didn’t count on the werewolf in the basement and Alyssa is the only one who makes it out.

Meanwhile Detective Kimball is on suspension because he beat a guy in custody.  He doesn’t play by the rules and does what it takes to get what he needs. In other words, he’s a jerk.  But his Captain will let him come back if he tracks down Alyssa and Carla, who the halfway house reported as runaways. 

We meet the priest, nuns, and girls at St. Matthias and hit the stretch of the movie which is going to be long on talking and short on werewolf.  There’s not much going on and the characters aren’t interesting.  There’s a counseling session that veers into drama, but isn’t well done since you won’t care about anyone’s story and the acting is fairly basic.

After Kimball tracks down Alyssa at a biker bar, she tells him no one ever leaves the halfway house. People go missing and people die every month.  Kimball is skeptical because they reported her missing. Alyssa says that’s how they keep people from being suspicious.  When people disappear or die, they report them as missing, they’re never found and the police write them off as runaways. Things come to a head when he delivers Alyssa to the halfway house and wants to look around, but the werewolf is on the loose.

This movie is way too long and far too uninteresting. There’s a lot of talking but not much being said.  There are several flashbacks to dialogue that just happened. Some of the acting in this is noticeably bad, while most of it is serviceable.

The biggest question is what age are these people supposed to be? They refer to them as girls, and Alyssa and Carla looked young enough to play teens.  But hen we meet the rest of the girls, most look too old to be teens. So perhaps girls is just misogynistic.  But they’re reported as runaways which would more be a teenage thing and they’re not allowed to leave which also points to them not being adults. I’m still confused.

Ridiculous dialogue 

You sound like a wood farmer from Greece.



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